


Zoey and the Very Woke Winter Solstice

by Cypher_DS



Category: Huniepop & Huniecam (Video Games)
Genre: Christmas, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, F/F, Goths, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangles, Secret Crush, Seduction, Social Justice, Weeaboo, Witchcraft, cybergoth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 48,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28233021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cypher_DS/pseuds/Cypher_DS
Summary: Unlike the drones of the world, Zoey has no time for all that conformist "Christmas cheer". So Lillian and Suki are stunned when Zoey gets into the holiday spirit by inviting a homeless woman to live with them. Wait ... it's Miss Yumi? Will Aiko be the key to unlocking the world of magic or will she cancel the trio's yuletide plans for good? Something wicked this way comes!
Relationships: Aiko Yumi/Denise "Zoey" Greene, Denise "Zoey" Greene/Sarah "Suki" Stevens, Lillian Aurawell/Denise "Zoey" Greene
Comments: 69
Kudos: 10





	1. Silent Night, Unholy Night

December. The last leftovers of Thanksgiving turkey had been reheated and reinvented into sandwiches and soup. The final Black Friday sales had passed and the stampeding, hair-pulling merch-hordes had returned to good-natured neighbours once more.

Gorged with good food and bursting at the seams from shopping sprees, America could finally rouse from its turkey-induced stupor and gear up for the real celebration.

Christmas.

Glenberry's tropical climate didn't exactly lend itself to White Christmas celebrations but the citizens were no slouches for celebration. Boulevards of palm trees were wrapped in coloured lights, the Turtle Bay surf shops accessorized their display mannequins with Santa hats and the downtown mall was a shrine of green garland, red bows and jolly carols. Even the old Church of St. Joseph, whose twin bell towers and stained glass windows had seen better days, kept up the festive spirit with its life-size manger scene, renowned throughout the state as a must-see tourist stop.

But on that first December night, an ominously silent night, a different, more sinister band of carollers descended on the parish of old St. Joe:

_Double, double, toil and trouble! Fire burn and cauldron bubble!_

The leader of the devilish troupe disguised herself in a black tracksuit, a dark face mask and spiked welding goggles. Neon blue dreadfalls were bundled back into a ponytail for the witches' work to come.

_Double, double, toil and trouble! Fire burn and cauldron bubble!_

Close on the leader's heels came a second figure weighed down with duffel bags and backpacks. A skull bandana covered her mouth while black pigtails bobbed in time with their hellion's chant.

_Double, double, toil and trouble! Fire burn and cauldron bubble!_

The duo would have chanted further but the only lines they knew from the Scottish Play were the ones popularized by cartoons and Halloween movies.

 _Double, double, toil and -_ "Zoey-senpaiii! _Matte kudasai~_!"

A third girl, heavy-set and gasping from the light jog, rushed to join the group, her two turtle doves flopping left and right with every bound. "SHH! Quiet!" hissed the goggle-wearing leader.

" _Gomen_ , Zoey-sen-"

"And I told you to use code names! I'm Graymalkin, Lillian's Paddock and you're … Suki, what are you wearing?"

Unlike her black-clad companions, the girl called Suki had arrived sporting an orange tracksuit and a blue headband. Painted fox whiskers decorated her cheeks. " _Oro_? But senpai, Lillian told me to dress all stealthy!"

"Whoa, like, don't pin your shit on me! All I said was you should totally dress like a ninj-"

A dusty lightbulb clicked. "Oh…"

"Invisibility no jutsu," Suki whispered in her softest voice.

Zoey groaned. "Never mind. The coast is clear and there's our target." Her gloved finger stabbed at the Church of St. Joseph. "Glenberry's oldest Roman Catholic parish. In twenty five days this will be the center of celebrations … for Christmas."

 _Christmas_. The word spat off the young witch's lips like the most vulgar of curses.

"December was meant to be the season of the winter solstice, a celebration honouring rebirth and the renewal of light! Now, though, this month has been appropriated by the unholy alliance of Christianity and Consumerism! It's a toxic, capitalist shill!"

"Effin' pigs!"

"Disrespectful, desu!"

"Well this year, we're going to remind this corrupted city about the true meaning of the season! Sisters of the Dark Coven, are you with me?"

"Got your back, boss bitch!"

" _Hai!_ Anything for my senpai!"

"Good." Zoey jerked a thumb at the church. "Now let's desecrate this manger scene."

* * *

Half an hour later, Zoey stepped back from the manger to admire her wicked work. Mary and Joseph, the shepherds and animals, the wise men and their camels - all continued to gaze upon the babe in the creche with adoration. But now, they were not alone: sinister golden keys hung from the rafters in groups of three. Trios of snakes, bats and black dogs snarled and hissed among the oxen and lamb. Spoked wagon wheels were staked among the barnyard hay like tombstones. Zoey clapped her hands and cackled.

"Brilliant!" _Keys, dogs, wheels - all totems of the goddess of witches!_ "When the Christmas revellers look upon these powerful symbols of Hecate, they'll all know that this space has been reclaimed by the Sisterhood of Wicca!"

She hoped the All-Mother would understand that this act of resistance had been planned on a budget. The keys were chocolates wrapped in gold foil, the dogs were plastic figurines from a toy store sale and the trios of wheels were all attached to small Barbie doll tricycles. _But it's the thought that counts_ , she reminded herself.

"Like, check out my digs on the roof, Zoe!" Lillian waved a hand over the pose-able action figures lurking atop the manger. "Krampus the Christmas demon, Cthulhu the Great Old One and a mother-effin' Balrog! Oh man, once those churchies see all these demons scoping out this barnyard, they're gonna freak the fuck out!"

"Excellent, Lillian!"

"Senpai, Suki's work is all complete-o too! Look: next to the Wise Men, I put Son Goku bearing gifts of sensu beans for Baby Jesus!"

Standing amid the turbaned trio, a life-size cardboard cutout of the Saiyan warrior was indeed flexing his power level to over 9000. Lillian and Zoey exchanged looks. "Suki…"

"But senpai! Goku's from Japan! That means this manger scene now has Asian representation!"

Zoey stared. Lillian rubbed her hands, ready for the cybergoth witch's smackdown.

"Suki, that is … actually pretty awesome!"

"Like, wha-?"

The tracksuit girl batted her eyes. "So I did good?"

"Very good, very woke," Zoey affirmed, tussling the blonde's hair.

"Yaay, headpats!" The bleached blonde stuck out her tongue at the pigtailed goth. "See, Kuroko-chan? Suki is super-smart about intersexuality!"

"Intersectionality," Zoey corrected. "Lillian, open that last duffel bag with the crystals."

Citrine, amethyst, rose quartz and celestine. All used to by witches to channel positive healing energies. But for the last month, Zoey had been sitting these babies in front of a TV blaring the Fox News six o'clock newscast. By now, each stone had soaked up such negativity and bile, there were ready to shatter with dark hexes!

"You strung up all the crystals on wires, Lillian?"

"Like forty feet worth, boss bitch!"

"Senpai, Suki wove a whole bag of wreaths with pentagrams, just like you said!"

"Excellent!" Boughs of dragon's blood and morning glories were prime ingredients for banishing spellwork. "Lillian, string the crystals all over the trees and the front doors. Suki, I want a wreath in every window! When we're done, this church will be overflowing with such malice that everyone who enters will suffer a witch's curse!"

She could already see the headline: _Christmas ... Cancelled!_

* * *

Seated side by side in the breakfast cafe booth, Lillian and Suki gulped as Zoey's fingers crumpled into the morning edition of the _Glenberry Chronicle._

**Local Pagan Community Donates Toys, Decorates Struggling Church!**

"S-so rude," Suki pouted. "Those pagan _bakas_ took all the credit for senpai's awesome plan."

"Like … Suki, it's talking about us."

" _Ano_? I thought we were _mahou shoujos_. Witches!"

"We are, it's just …"

"I can't be Pagan, Kuroko-chan! Suki orders meat in her ramen bowl all the time!"

" _Vegan,_ Suki. Vegan."

"Ohh..." A pause. "And the flying spaghetti monster people?"

"Pastafarians."

"Got it!"

Zoey wadded the cafe newspaper into a ball. "Well, the mainstream media has always been in bed with the Evangelical Christians. It's totally incestuous!"

" _Oro_? Senpai, I thought you said the media was controlled by the Ju-jubes!"

"The Jews, Suki. And they get a pass because they're liberal."

"But not the lionists?"

" _Zionists!_ And screw them. BDS for life!"

"Whoa, kinky shit there, boss bitch!"

But before Zoey could explain the true meaning of Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions, the blue-haired barista returned from her break in the back room.

"No. No, no, no! What part of 'lifetime ban' do you people not understand?" She pointed at Zoey. "You! Newspapers are for paying customers only!"

"Are you denying me my freedom to access information because I don't meet your capitalist standards?"

"And you!" Her finger whipped towards Lillian. "Stop drawing dicks all over the washroom stalls! We serve families here!"

"Umm like, totally not my problem if you can't get my art, bitch."

"And you!" Suki gave a little 'eep'. "They're making you stuff creamer and sugar packets into your coat pockets again, aren't they?"

"... no," Suki protested, even as her cleavage jiggled with pink packets of Sweet 'n Low.

"Oh my god… Brody? Manager?"

* * *

A familiar nine blocks and six overworked lungs later, Zoey struck the perfect idea for a post-scheme pick me up. "Lillian, Suki, let's get some cake! Delicious, moist, gluten-free black forest cake from DeeDee's Bakery. We've earned it, girls!"

"Umm like, those things are like, totally expensive, boss."

"Maybe we could bake one together, senpai!"

"No need, Suki. The cakes in-store cost an arm and a leg but the day-olds they toss into the dumpster are free of charge. Anyone up for some urban foraging?"

"Score!"

"Yatta!"

* * *

It turned out Zoey wasn't the only one with the clever idea to go dumpster diving. At the mouth of DeeDee's back alley, Suki gasped. "Iyaai, look!"

The back half of a trenchcoat, sneakers and a pair of sweatpants balanced on the rim of the bakery's dumpster. The figure startled at Suki's weeaboo scream, lost its balance and toppled into the dumpster. "Ow, frick!"

Zoey startled. Both her minions clung to her arms like damsels.

"It's like, a hobo!"

"It's a crackhead!"

"Girls, language! It's a person experiencing homelessness!"

"Uh... little help here?" The disoriented echo from the dumpster made Suki and Lillian cling twice as tight.

"You talk to her, boss."

"Me, why me?" Zoey hissed.

"Um, cause you're a sassy black chick? You'll totally freak the shit out of her!"

"Ooh, ooh, do that finger snap thing, senpai!"

"Girls, that's a horrible, outdated stereotype and -"

 _Bang, bang, bang!_ "HEY!"

"Bitch, sit yo' ho-ass down! Don' make me call the po-po t'bust a cap in yo' sorry, white behind, m-hmm?"

Zoey clamped both hands over her mouth, mortified. Lillian and Suki looked on with rapture.

"Whoa…"

" _Sugoi…"_

"Um …" The dumpster lady gave a tiny rap for attention.

Zoey cleared her throat. "I mean - Hello?... Are there any black forest cakes in there?"

"Yeah, right under my butt. Can you give me a hand?"

"Pass us a cake and we'll pull you out."

"Nothing squished, please!" Suki chimed.

"Oh and like, no custard." Lillian added. "Custard is like, totally the worst!"

The dumpster diver cursed and grumbled. "Seriously? Well... there's a red velvet cake still whole, I think."

"Is it gluten-free?"

" _Gluten-_ ? You're seriously gonna leave me here if I don't haul up a cake for you?"

"Yes," came the trio of voices.

The garbage woman sighed and rummaged about. Zoey's eyes lit up as a plastic cake container was lifted to the rim. She seized it immediately. _Red velvet._ Well, it would have to do.

"Lil, Suki - get those milk crates in the corner stacked. Miss? I'm going to climb up and pull you out."

Goth and weeaboo worked in tandem to build Zoey a small staircase. The cybergoth witch wobbled her way up and offered her hand, wincing at the garbage-stained palm that grasped her own. She looked down, the woman looked up.

They both paled.

"Zoey? Zoey Greene?"

"Miss Yumi? Aw hell no!"

The Asian professor gave a small scream as Zoey let her fall back in.


	2. Poor Little Matchstick Gyaru

"Ehh? You know this woman, senpai?"

Free from the dumpster at last, the trio crowded around Miss Yumi while she sat on a milk crate and nursed her aching head. The smushed remains of various cakes and tarts were plastered into her trenchcoat and hair. She seemed only vaguely aware of the girls surrounding her, chittering amongst themselves like a pack of squirrels inspecting a tired dog.

“We had a working relationship,” Zoey shrugged.

“ _Iyai!_ _Josei_ _-san_ smells like peanuts and dirty laundry!”

“Suki, don’t just go up and sniff her! You don’t know where she’s been.”

“Like, I’ll totally tell you where she hasn’t been: the mall! Like, omigod, what is she wearing?”

Lillian gagged. Under that threadbare trenchcoat, the dumpster woman sported a fashion ensemble of sneakers, stained sweatpants and a University of Glenberry hoodie. She seemed to have forfeited a bra. The goth brat whipped out her cell phone and began snapping pictures.

“I think those are the clothes she wears when she stays home to mark papers,” Zoey offered.

“No, those are totally the clothes you wear when you like, check out on life. I mean, can you dress any lamer?”

“Waah! Zoey-senpai, she’s Asian!” Suki’s eyes gleamed. “Senpai, you have to introduce me! _On_ _egai?_ ”

Zoey rolled her eyes. “Girls, this is Miss Aiko Yumi. She taught my physics lectures at the university. Or at least she did until she disappeared last spring.”

“ _Ohayo gozaimasu, Yumi-san!_ ”

Miss Yumi winced as soon as she turned towards Suki’s peppy, glitter-encrusted face. “Zoey, what is that thing and why is it so pink?”

“ _Moshi moshi!_ _Watashi wa_ Suki, the bishoujo manga-ka!”

"Sup, I'm Lillian. This here is the Dark Coven.”

“We’re witches!”

Miss Yumi looked up at Zoey who, with her welding goggles and canary yellow corset was suddenly the sanest member of her little rescue party. “Witches? I thought you were a robot.”

"I was but I’ve since come to a clearer understanding of my identity. I am a cybernetically-enhanced priestess of Wicca, a servant of Hecate. My pronouns are she/they."

"Uh huh. Still coaxing that stick out of your ass, I see."

"Yumi-san," Suki interrupted, "why were you crawling around the trash and squashing our cakes? Only university students and homeless people do that!"

"More importantly,” Zoey added, “where have you been all this time? The university said you were taking a leave of absence, then they shoved in some muscle-headed white woman to teach your classes."

"Oh yeah, Miss Stone! Like, that chick is totally ripped. She can lift like hell, bro."

“Excuse me? Where have I been?” Miss Yumi seemed to take personal affront to that question. “Oh like you don’t already know! You and your little Womyn’s Center club must’ve been laughing your asses off this whole time! _Where have I been!_ ”

Miss Yumi stormed to her feet and brushed past the trio, ranting to herself as she paced.

“Where to start? Oh, how about last April when the old lady in the apartment next door finds me half-conscious on the floor. I was hospitalized for _five months!_ That bitch breaks into my apartment, she takes everything away from me and the doctors have the nerve to call it an ‘alcohol-induced coma’. That I drank myself half to death! I had all these specialists scrambling to figure out how I was even alive. Apparently the Mayo Clinic wants a sample of my liver. So yeah, I got to spend my summer vacation strapped to a hospital gurney.”

Zoey winced. _That was around the time_ _I had my legs broken_ _..._

“When I finally wake up, I get a lovely little call from the university. I’m fired! Apparently a whole bunch of my students decided that since I wasn’t on campus, they had free reign to chat up the admin and start complaining about me!”

“Like, what happened?”

“Well, apparently when two consenting adults decide to... enjoy each other’s company, if one of them is a teacher and the other is a student, it’s called ‘sexual misconduct’.”

“Whoa, seriously?”

“For god’s sake, I didn’t even boost their grades! How the hell is that a ‘breach of the student-teacher relationship’?”

“I think I saw this in a manga,” Suki whispered.

“Anyway, the dean would rather ‘squash the bad press’ than have my back so he pays me out and lets my contract expire so long as I keep my mouth shut. Oh, and then the bastard goes ahead and blacklists me!”

Miss Yumi steadied herself against the alleyway wall. “All this time my rent’s been late, the interest on my student loans is piling up and with my insurance cancelled, now I’m getting hospital bills in the mail!”

“Like, what did you do for cash?” Lillian not so subtly bobbed a curled fist up and down. “Did you…”

“What? Whore myself? Huh, maybe I should’ve. Nah, I tried working the gig economy: Uber driver, food courier. Just keeping my car gassed up was a bitch. Next thing I know, I’m selling everything off just to make my minimum payments: my furniture, my car. I even had to let my apartment go. That was a month ago.”

All three girls gulped, thinking back to the howling November winds and rainstorms. Lillian shivered. “Like, that’s harsh.”

“You know what’s really harsh? Waking up in the morning and thinking ‘huh, this is my new normal’. This is how I get to spend the rest of my life. What would _you_ do if you woke up like that?”

Suki raised a hand. “Umm… go eat some cake?”

“Bingo! DeeDee’s one and only black forest cake! And seeing as I’ve got about as much dignity as I do cash, I might as well grab it straight from the trash!” Miss Yumi gestured to the industrial dumpster she’d been routing through moments ago. “And that’s how I met you three fine ladies.”

Parched, Miss Yumi searched her pockets for a plastic coke bottle filled with water. While she drank, Suki pulled Zoey and Lillian aside. “ _Mina-san_ , this is so sad! We have to help her!”

Lillian nodded, thinking to her own time running away from home and the weeks she’d spent living on the streets. “Like, if Zoey didn’t find me, that could’ve been me in those god-awful sweatpants.”

 _Hecate bless their souls, they’re so innocent._ Zoey set her hands on her hips, readying herself to play the logical foil. “Girls, this is tragic and all but … well, this is what happens when someone problematic gets called out and cancelled.”

“Senpai!”

“C’mon, Zoe! Like, aren’t we supposed to be supporting women n’ minorities n’ shit?”

“Of course we are but -” Zoey rubbed her forehead. “Ugh, where do I even start? I mean, Miss Yumi barely taught her classes. She just read off her PowerPoint slides and regurgitated the establishment way of thinking. She never used her position of power to call out injustice or to support marginalized voices. And clearly those rumours about her propositioning students weren’t just idle gossip. I’m sorry, girls but we need to let Miss Yumi reflect on her actions so she can rebuild herself into a responsible ally.”

And just as Zoey was prepared to turn and walk away, Suki seized her wrist and looked up at her with the biggest, glassiest Grinch-heart-melting eyes. “But senpai… it’s Christmas time. I mean, Winter Solstice time!”

Zoey filed a note to re-assess Suki’s ability to cast enchantments and hexes. It couldn’t be natural, the way those eyes broke her resolve every damn time _._ “All right, there is _something_ we can do.”

“Yatta!”

Water freshly chugged, Miss Yumi cocked an eye at the plastic package shoved towards her. Zoey kept her voice measured and professional. “We’ve discussed things and we feel like you should have the cake.”

Miss Yumi glared at the packaged cake, so fluffy, so spongy, so _red_. “Gee, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Zoey countered. “May you know the All-Mother’s blessing this Yuletide season. Goodbye, Miss Yumi."

"Yeah, so long and thanks for all the fish.”

Zoey turned and walked away. Lillian and Suki hesitated but ultimately followed after her. As their boots crunched atop the alleyway gravel, a long and heart-rending sigh followed them to the street. Zoey took both her friends by the hand, the responsible mother steering her children away from temptation.

But when Miss Yumi next muttered to herself, Zoey never imagined she’d be the first to spin around.

“I guess this is what happens when you screw around with black magic bottles..."

Zoey zipped into Miss Yumi’s face. "Did you say... magic?"


	3. A Home for the Holidays

"Holy crap, you girls actually live in this... this palace?"

Miss Yumi had just crossed the front foyer and taken her first spellbound steps into the Dark Coven's abode. From outside, the apartment building had looked downright dumpy but its penthouse loft was a diamond in the rough. Polished hardwood flooring spread beneath her feet to an outer wall of chic red brick divided by three tall window cases. Fresh sunlight filtered in from a skylight while a ceiling fan kept the air crisp and clean.

"It suits our needs quite nicely," Zoey nodded, the picture of composure.

In fact, her first steps into the loft had sent her squealing like the worst kind of fangirl. The architect must have been Wiccan; how else could one explain the dwelling's incorporation of Wicca's sacred number three? Three off-room bedrooms, three cupboards in the bathroom and three windows in a main chamber divided into three areas.

To the left, a kitchen area with granite countertops and a center island for food prep. In the loft’s middle stood the dining area: a long galley table with attached benches, the kind set up in trendy downtown bistros for large parties. And to the right, the TV pad, complete with a rug, a plush leather couch and a coffee table hooked up in front of Suki's honking-big hi-def TV.

Mesmerized, Miss Yumi approached the windows, touching her palm to the view of downtown Glenberry. "You can see all the way down to the harbour. It's like your very own scenic overlook!"

"Isn't it!" Suki chirped.

"Just, y'know, minus all the yahoos getting frisky in the bushes."

"Eww..."

"Seriously, it feels like I'm walking onto a reality TV set. Who did you girls blow to afford a place as sweet as this?"

"Lillian's mama-san is super helpful," Suki explained. "So long as her Lilly Pie is staying with friends, Mrs. Winters helps us out a ton with the rent!"

"Wait, I thought the name plate in the front lobby read 'Aurawell'."

"Like, that's because my last name _is_ Aurawell. Duh!" Lillian's snort closed that conversation. "Oh, and Suki? Call me Lilly Pie again and I swear to god I'm torching your BL books."

Suki gave a tiny squeak.

"Have a seat." Zoey gestured to the dining table. Miss Yumi took one side, while the coven seated themselves across from her. Zoey spread her research notebooks on the table, Suki toddled over to the kitchen to prep a hot meal and Lillian whipped out her phone and started texting

Zoey elbowed her. "Omigod, fine! I'll like, get her a glass of water or something!"

Miss Yumi's eyes perked when Suki sat a steaming bowl of soup before her. "Microwaveable ramen, Yumi-san! _G_ _omen_ , but our chopsticks are all dirty. Do you need me to show you how to eat with a fork?"

"Wow, this is all kinds of racist."

"Oro?"

"I mean, this is all kinds of yummy!" Miss Yumi's smile stretched with inhuman elasticity while her voice jacked up an octave. " _Miam, miam, Suki-chan! Itadakimasu~!_ "

" _Yatta!_ "

The Asian woman sighed as she twined her ramen noodles. "My life story in exchange for lunch. Well, not the first time I've put questionable things in my mouth."

Zoey gave an 'a-hem' and tapped a pen on her page. "Now, Miss Yumi, tell us about your experiences with magic."

* * *

Half an hour later, Lillian and Suki sat back in awe. Zoey let her pen drop and shook the feeling back into her hand. She'd been scrawling notes the entire time; now, breathlessly she sat back and summarized her findings.

"An enchanted urn…"

"Sake bottle, actually."

"And it allowed you to summon familiars!"

"Well, I kinda puked them up but -"

"And you used them to carry out your witchly bidding!"

"Oh sure. Cooking, marking tests, beer runs - you name it."

Suki clapped her giddy hands. "Can we see your magic bottle, Yumi-san?"

"Yeah, that's the thing. Y'see girls it -"

Her voice caught. Straightening up and removing her glasses, Miss Yumi steeled herself with a deep breath. "It broke. Someone broke it."

"Aww, boo!"

"Like, who did it?"

"I really don't want to talk about that." Miss Yumi sniffled, wiping her eyes. "Suffice to say, my life took an instant nosedive into the crapper the instant I lost my bab- I mean, my bottle."

Zoey nodded. The story added up. "So the release of all that magical energy put you in the hospital." It also explained the roadblocks she'd hit with her own magic. _Ancient artifacts... that's where the real power lies..._

"So, we done here? I can get out and get the hell on with my life?"

"Not just yet," answered Zoey. "An anecdotal story about magic is flimsy at best. I need to back up your claim with empirical observations and data."

Miss Yumi sat back, stunned. "Wow. Zoey Greene, that is... I am honestly impressed. Well spoken, young student of mine! That's how a scientist thinks!"

"I know! That's why I'm going to use crystals and herbs to check if you can use magic."

The ex-teacher withered. "... My god, I really did give easy 'A's."

"First, let's divine your magical affinities." Suki cleared the table while Zoey plunked a small dish at its center. In her hands, the young witch shook a collection of coloured gems like dice and tossed the rainbow assortment of rocks into the dish. Lillian held her phone up for the photo finish. When the stones settled, they all gathered on Miss Yumi’s side of the dish.

The coven gasped. "She's attracting the stones with her magical energy!"

"Like, they're all going towards her!"

" _Sugoi!_ All of them!"

"Um, I think the table might be a bit crooked," Miss Yumi offered.

Zoey plucked a red, oblong gemstone from one of her pouches, placing it in Miss Yumi's palm. "Make a fist." After ten seconds, Zoey seized the crystal. She gasped again. "It's warm!"

"Um, yeah. I was holding a bowl of hot soup this whole time."

"Girls, the stone is warm! It absorbed her ambient spiritual energy! Miss Yumi, you _can_ use magic!"

And before the Asian woman could protest, Zoey dove into her final test, strapping on her goggles and rotating the lens filters. "I want to read your aura. I purchased these special lenses online from a witch in Utah who specializes in divining astral bodies."

"Must've cost a pretty penny."

"They did!" What insight! "But with them, I've been able to confirm that everyone I've met so far can use no higher magic whatsoever!"

"Wow, imagine that."

Zoey, however, found herself frowning as she dialed knobs and zoomed in and out on Miss Yumi. "Lillian, I think the lenses are smudged. All I can see is -"

But that was odd. She could see Lillian perfectly through the yellow filter. Suki too. "Miss Yumi, you're -"

Black. A black, inky abyss of coiling tendrils. Devoid of light, devoid of form, a creature with two beady insect eyes blinked back at Zoey. "Yesssss?"

Zoey gulped, yanking off her goggles and dropping them onto the table. "You're um... all good. Yes, all good."

Lillian looked up from her phone and frowned. Zoey pressed on.

"Thank you, Miss Yumi. It's stories like yours that add to our coven's knowledge and allow us to grow stronger in our mystic bonds. I know your experiences must have been... startling -"

"It was actually pretty sweet."

"But please know that you're not alone. Everyone at this table has had experiences with the realm of the supernatural."

"Hai! Kuroko-chan once dated a lizard demon and Suki used to live next door to a g-g-ghost!"

"And I was assaulted by invisible spirits last spring! They broke both my legs!"

Miss Yumi winced and looked away. Zoey understood, her story was rather visceral. "And from this day forth, you won't be alone any more. Girls, I nominate Miss Yumi to join our coven!"

"Second-o! Haa, I can't wait to have a real Japanese friend!"

Both girls glanced at the absent-minded Lillian, still frowning at the goggles Zoey had discarded on the table. "Lillian?"

"Huh, oh yeah, sure. Whatever you say, boss bitch."

Miss Yumi blinked. "That's it? So… I'm a witch?"

"You were always a witch," Zoey clarified. "But now you're _our_ witch."

"C'mon, Yumi-san! We'll show you around your new home!"

"Home?" Miss Yumi's hands shot up in protest. "No, you don't understand. I can't live with you girls, I -"

"Oro? How come?" Suki tilted her head. "Have you got anything to go back to?"

Miss Yumi's tongue caught. Zoey was no mind reader (not yet) but she could sense the older woman hard at thought. Wandering the streets, scrounging garbage bins for food, sleeping under whatever cardboard or newspapers kept the cold and damp at bay.

"You don't have to go back to that life," Zoey assured her. "You can have something more."

"Something more..." Miss Yumi looked between the three strange girls and their spacious loft, so airy and bright. An odd, excited smile grew on her face.

"Maybe … maybe I'll give it a shot."

* * *

"So, first on the tour is my room." Zoey opened the door to a moonlit chamber.

Her room was a humble study, bookshelves stacked with odd goddess statues, incense burners and jars of dried flowers. A simple fold-out cot served as a bed. Half the window casement was claimed by a small herb garden. On the other, coloured crystals were spread in orderly rows.

"Pet rocks?" inquired Miss Yumi.

"My spiritual crystals. I'm recharging their magical energies using moonlight."

"Of course you are. What's that?"

Miss Yumi pointed to a corner closed off by a ring of green screen curtains, something out of a Hollywood effects shop. The silhouette of a desk and several computer monitors were visible in the moonlight.

"Oh, that's my work station. To support myself through university, I moonlight as an Internet erotic actress."

"Wait, you're a cam whore?"

"Let's not be juvenile. Sex work is work."

"Huh, guess those rumours were true. Got a website?"

"For paying subscribers, yes." Zoey motioned that they would be continuing the tour. "Across from mine is Suki's -"

"Um, let's not bother her, shall we?" The strip of pink light beneath the door and the cutesy bop of J-Pop tracks painted all too clear a picture of the abyss behind door number two.

"Fair enough." Zoey walked them past the kitchen, past the dining table and the TV station to the opposite end of the main room. "You'll be staying next to Lillian."

They glanced through the goth girl's door into a den of black and red. Headphones over her ears, Lillian engrossed herself at a work desk splattered with paint, applying the finishing touches to a small resin figurine. More such mini-figures lined the shelves, while posters of metal bands splayed across the walls. A crude pentagram had been spray-painted on the floorboards. Miss Yumi nodded, studying the posters.

"Cradle of Filth... Sabaton... Within Temptation... Hey, how about Black Sabbath? Ozzy Osborne? Lillian? Hey!"

Lillian whipped off her headphones and gave the mother of all pissy scoffs. "Like, I don't know who the fuck those shitwads are but they sound old and they sound lame."

"Well, you're half right..."

Zoey shut the door, leaving Lillian to her obsessions. "And your room is over here."

Miss Yumi approached the final door, turning the knob eagerly.

"Oh... a storage closet." Stacks of boxes along the walls kept the walk-in space tight and snug. A single overhead bulb swung from the ceiling.

"Yes. Suki prepped a bedroll and sleeping bag for you."

Miss Yumi looked from the Sailor Moon sleeper to the oh-so-inviting TV space. "Couldn't I sleep on the couch?"

"Miss Yumi, we watch TV there."

"Right. Well, don’t look a gift horse and all that jazz.” The ex-teacher went about lifting and shoving boxes to maximize her floor space. Zoey observed the tidying from the doorway until she felt compelled to speak.

"About that comment you made in the alleyway. About how I'd be laughing at you with my friends from the Womyn's Center? Well, that's simply not true. I ... I was asked to leave the organization. They called me out as problematic."

Miss Yumi dusted off her hands and faced her. "Sounds like it was for the best if you ask me. Christ, that Ramira's a nutjob."

Zoey hesitated, recalling the fond memories of her feminist group, then gave a small nod. "Yes, these past months have taught me a lot about who my real friends are."

"Zoey, take it from someone who knows: be careful who you call 'friends' and don't get too attached. It's no thanks to my so-called 'BFFs' that I ended up like this. If they’re not out to screw you, they’re trying to control you."

"That an... interesting perspective. Well, I should let you settle in."

"Hey, Zoey?" Miss Yumi exhaled deeply before continuing. "I kinda have seen one of your cam videos. I think you know the one."

Ah yes, the viral clip where invisible demons ripped her off the floor and slammed her into the wall like a mounted bug before they-

"I'm sorry. God, I am so sorry what you went through. I just-"

Lost for words, Miss Yumi removed her glasses, wiped her eyes.

Zoey smiled and clapped her on the shoulder. She pressed a small orange gem into Miss Yumi's palm. "Citrine crystal. To imbue you with positive energy. Rest up. Tomorrow's a new day."

"Yeah... a new day. I like that."

"Good night, then."

"Night, kiddo!" From the hall, she waved goodbye as the young teen walked across the loft to her room. When Zoey's door clicked shut, Aiko Yumi turned to address the eyes drilling holes into the back of her head.

"S'up? Been there long, Lillian?"

A scowling head of black pigtails scrutinized her from around the edge of her door. Zoey's discarded goggles were clamped over the goth's eyes, giving off little electronic whirs as Lillian zoomed in with the aura-reading lenses. The prognosis was not good.

"You're all sorts of messed up, aren't you, Miss Yu?"

The tendrilled void flashed her a seductive wink. "I like to mess around. How about you, Lilly Pie?"

Lillian continued her long and silent scowl.

"Well, if you ever want the deets, you know where to knock, sweetheart. My door’s always open.”

Grimacing, the goth girl backtracked into her room and locked the door.


	4. All I Want for Solstice...

At breakfast the next morning, Miss Yumi was way too excited for Lillian's liking, bouncing her legs at the table like a kid off to her first day of summer camp.

"So, what's my first job as a witch? I gotta make myself a black hat? Get a broom? Break out my best _wingardium leviosa?_ "

Zoey's spoon clattered into her cereal. Lillian could see the train wreck coming.

"Miss Yumi, those harmful and obscene stereotypes have no place at this table!"

"Offensive, desu!"

Lillian smirked as she drained her morning coffee. "Like, omigod! Get real, Miss Yu."

"Okay... clearly stepped on some toes there. So, if you're all witches or Wiccans then … what do you do?"

Lillian helped herself to another bowlful of Count Chocula as Zoey launched into speech mode. "As a sister of the Dark Coven, you'll join us in celebrating feminine power. We resist the unjust oppression of the patriarchy and nurture bonds of sisterhood throughout our daily living."

Lillian clarified. "So like, Tuesday is take-out night, Friday we totally play D'nD and Sundays are for marathoning anime."

"But for now, there's other work to be done." Zoey slung her book satchel over one shoulder. "I have classes today so I've got to catch the campus express bus. Suki, Lillian, don't be late for work."

"Work?" Miss Yumi inquired. "I thought your moms were paying for all your stuff."

"Omigod, are you for real? Look, my cousin Mikey told me about this cashier job at the comic book store, m'kay? I get this totally sweet employee discount and all I've gotta do is stand around and ring up the till."

" _Hai!_ And Suki works at a crêpe café serving boba tea! _Mit_ é _mit_ é _!_ Isn't my uniform _kuru_?"

Miss Yumi took a good look at the bubblegum pink polo shirt underneath the otaku girl's denim overalls and the equally pink baseball cap atop her head. _Kawaii Cr_ ê _pes!_

"Suki, it's so... you." Then her eyes were on Lillian, scoping out her leather hip-huggers and her tummy-bearing tube top. "Gonna put a shirt on?"

"Fuck, no. My boss says sales've been up 40 percent since I started working." Lillian cupped her girls and gave them a jiggle. "If the dumbass virgins wanna stare, like whatever!"

"Hey, if you're sharing, I'm staring."

Lillian scowled.

"Yumi-san, what'll you do today?"

"Me? Oh, well I guess I should pick up my stuff. Maybe I'll take a walk through the park or something."

Zoey nodded. A coin locker, an out of the way shopping cart – Miss Yumi must have stashed her spare clothes and scant possessions somewhere safe. "Here, take my key so you don't get locked out. Take your time adjusting."

"Thanks. Who knows, maybe I'll brew up something wicked today."

That got Suki giggling. Lillian just rolled her eyes.

* * *

By her noon-hour lunch break, Lillian's mood hadn't improved. She scowled and slurped from her Glenberry mall fountain cup. Usually, she had no problem hanging at the food court but Suki was ten fucking minutes late and the weeb had been the one to call this random-ass meeting.

"Like, I'm on my third refill here. What gives?"

" _Gomen._ We had a mega-long line up."

The otaku girl plopped her big fat ass in the seat across from Lillian and plunked an even bigger bowl of mall kiosk ramen on the table. Lillian glared daggers, envious of how Suki could scarf down all those carbs and have them settle oh-so-perfectly into her soft, squishy thighs and her jello-bowl butt.

Lillian had tried fattening up her ass back in tenth grade, gobbling down snacks and donuts by the bowlful, and all she'd gotten for her trouble was a muffin top spilling over her jeans and two cavities. _Had to vomit_ _up_ _breakfast for_ _like_ _a month to get back in shape._ _This bitch's g_ _otta be_ _using_ _mothe_ _r_ _-effin' magic!_

"So, what do you think of Yumi-san?" Suki asked between slurps of noodles.

"I don't fuckin' know. Keep getting weird vibes from her. Christ, you should've seen her aura, like looking at the smoker's lung pics on cigarette packs. That magic bottle or whatever? It fucked her up big time."

"Well I think it's _subarashi_ having someone else who speaks Japanese! Hey, did you know you only say _moshi moshi_ over the telephone? Sensei is gonna teach me sooo much!"

"She's so god-damn old, though," Lillian griped. "Like, do we really need some over-the-hill grandma slowing us down?"

"Well, senpai is excited to have her."

Lillian threw her eyes up at the ceiling. _Omigod, kill me now!_ The minute Zoey liked something, Suki rolled over and yapped "yes, ma'am" like a good little puppy desperate for belly rubs. Admittedly, Lillian also went along with whatever Zoey planned, but at least she didn't act like a total fucking simp about it!

"I guess," Lillian sighed. "So, is this why you asked to meet? Dishing over the new bitch?"

Suki flashed a crafty smile. "Well, this _is_ Zoey-senpai's first Christ- I mean, first Winter Solstice since she became a _mahou_ , right? I thought … maybe we could get something special for her!"

Lillian nearly choked up her drink. "A present? Dude, Zoey would go ape-shit if you bought her something at the mall or from a department store! She'd totally kick you out for 'being a consumerist shill' and all that."

"Well, what if it was from a local shop? That way we'd be... _eto,_ how does senpai say it?"

"Supporting a small, independent business?"

"Exactly!" Suki slid her phone across the table. "Here, this place sells all kinds of magic potion stuff: herbs, crystals, incense. It's perfect for senpai!"

 _Madame Jezebelle's Magic Emporium_. Lillian thumbed through the website, her eyes lighting up at the plan. "Ohh, I get it, so if Zoe gets all bitchy about gift giving -"

"- we tell her it's not a present -"

"- it's a mother-effin' investment! Like, we're finding her shit she needs to take our coven's magic to the next level!"

"Hai!"

Lillian chuckled at the plan, simple but ingenious. When Suki put her heart into it, the kid came up with some awesome stuff. _And speaking of hearts..._ "Dude, you're still crushing _so_ hard on Zoey."

Suki scratched her head and gave an innocent chuckle. "Eh-heh-heh… maybe?"

"Pssh! Don't 'maybe' me. You're always like, grabbing stuff for her around the loft, always giving her the first bite of your chocolate bars. And I know your ass has it's own zip code but you don't need to cozy up _that_ close to her on the couch. I swear to god, you're like, two steps away from dry-humping her leg."

"Lewd!" Suki exclaimed. "And you're one to talk, Kuroko-chan. When did _you_ stop being 'over' senpai?"

Lillian glanced off into the food court. "Like, I dunno what you're talkin' about."

Suki gave one of her smug little 'oh-ho-ho' laughs. "Lillian-chan isn't being honest with herself. I've seen how you 'accidentally' borrow Zoey-senpai's towels after you shower. Or how you always let her go first up the staircase whenever she wears her tutu skirts. It's no wonder you always bully her in our D'nD campaigns."

Lillian shrugged. "Luck of the dice."

"Oro? Then how come all the monsters keep scoring critical breaks on senpai and ripping off her clothes?"

"Dude, not my fault she plays a mage class with crappy armor." Or that she kept a special chart of modified stats for Zoey's gear, but the twerp didn't need to know.

Lillian slurped at her drink and Suki sucked up her noodles, both daring the other to make the next move. Suki finally broke the stand-off with a fond sigh.

"Senpai really is amazing, isn't she?"

"Hell yeah. She's hardcore."

"So? Will you help me find Zoey's gift, Lillian?"

Lillian chewed on her plastic straw. _Something's not adding up._ If this was supposed to be a lovey-dovey 'get into your pants' gift from Suki, why was she being brought in on the action? _She's totally planning something,_ Lillian mused. And there was only way to figure out 'what'...

"'Kay, I'm in. Let's get the boss bitch a Christ- I mean, a Winter Solstice present."

* * *

Lillian and Suki did their preliminary planning, then they wrapped up their work shifts and met Zoey on the bus route home. While Suki skipped into a Seven Eleven (sorry, a ' _konbini_ ') to grab microwave bowls for dinner, Lillian took advantage of the time alone to chat up their coven leader.

"So, like, take some good notes today or just busy scoping out all the hotties in your classes?"

"Lillian, my classmates are mindless conformists. I wouldn't waste my time flirting with any of them."

"What about that Anton guy? Y'know, your study partner? He sounds totally woke."

"Strange as it seems, I think he honestly just wants my class notes. Besides, Anton's studying to enter police forensics. I don't need to fraternize with an oppressor-in-training."

"Yeah, not to mention Suki would freak if you went down on his big, black dick."

Zoey glared at her. "I don't see how it's any of Suki's business what I do romantically or sexually. Other than to support me as a friend."

_Riiight, friends. Suki totally got the memo._

"Honestly, I'm thinking of updating my profile as 'aromantic'. I just don't see the appeal of any relationship right now." She studied Lillian a moment. "Does that bother you?"

"W-who, me?" A nervous sweat ran down Lillian's spine but she laughed it off. "Naw, I'm totally over you, Zoe. What's up? You suddenly hungry for some of this?"

Lillian cupped her tits, gave them a little push up in Zoey's direction. The taller girl covered up with a frown. "Really, Lillian..." but then Suki joined them with four microwave meals in hand, killing the conversation.

Still, for a split-second, Lillian swore Zoey had dropped her know-it-all act to give an honest, needy shiver.

Her roommate was wearing her cut-up jeans today but Lillian still let Zoey lead the way upstairs, hissing when the top band of a purple T-back wiggled into view. _Fuck, yeah._

* * *

Lillian had half-expected to open their front door and find the loft robbed and picked bare. Inside, she discovered a table set for four and an aroma of saucy spices hitting her nose.

"Oh, hey girls!" Miss Yumi waved them inside, a ladle in her hand and an apron over a fresh tank top and shorts. "Perfect timing. Ready for some Yummy Yumi sausage and veggie gumbo?"

On the stove top, an industrial-size pot they'd never once used bubbled with delectable goodness. Lillian's mouth hung, watering. "You like, made all this?"

"Just a little family recipe I've tweaked and refined. Zoey here isn't the only one with a knack for greens and gardening."

"Yumi-san, you bought groceries and made us dinner!?" Suki was rooting through their fridge, jaw gaping. Juicy red apples, a whole bag of carrots, fresh bread and a jug of milk. And that was just the top shelf! "It's so full! Where did you-?"

"Well, I had some free time and I know a little place-"

Zoey gulped. Whatever leftover cash Miss Yumi had scrounged and saved was now in their fridge and on their dinner table. "Girls, wash up and tuck in!"

Tonight, they would eat like queens!

* * *

The coven sisters slurped, they smacked and they gorged themselves on hearty, spicy stew until their bellies hung full and heavy. Lillian usually grabbed a smoke after her meals but tonight she just wanted to sit back and savor the total awesomeness.

Zoey looked between Lillian kicking back and Suki licking her bowl. Then she came to a decision. "Miss Yumi, I'd like to show you something."

Marching into the kitchen, Zoey opened a corner cupboard, revealing a row of clear, plastic sugar tins. Each had a different label - _rent, cable, insurance_ \- and each was stuffed to the gills with wads of green bills and silver coins.

Miss Yumi's eyes went wide. "Money? And you leave it in your kitchen cupboard?"

"Correct. To support our coven, each of us cashes out our paycheques and divides it among our necessities."

" _Ano_ , that reminds me!" Suki plunged a hand into her cleavage and fished up a fistful of bills, toddling over to the bins and sliding them through the slots cut into the top lids. Two twenties went back into Suki's bra, her 'personal spending' fund. Miss Yumi watched and she frowned.

"Are you girls communists?"

"We prefer the term 'radical socialists'."

Smiling, Zoey took down one of the bins, cradling it like a babe to deposit in Miss Yumi's hands. The label read _groceries_.

"Girls, I propose that Miss Yumi be given full authority to spend and prep our food fund as she sees fit. All in favour? Aye!"

"Hai!"

Both girls looked to Lillian, who swallowed and licked the last taste of gumbo from her lips. Her purple fingernails curled into a thumbs-up. "M'kay, I'm in!"

Miss Yumi looked bewildered, a dark horse actress who'd just been gifted an Oscar. "Th-thanks, girls. I'll keep that fridge stocked and your bellies crying for more!" She returned the grocery jar to its shelf and shut the door. "Speaking of, who wants hot chocolate?"

"Ooh, me, me, me!"

In the ensuing cheers, not even Lillian noticed Aiko's dry-throated gulp as she glanced towards the cupboard of money.

* * *

All three pitched in with the kitchen clean up: Zoey ladled the leftover gumbo into storage bowls to be frozen, Suki gave the dirty dishes a bubble bath in the sink and Lillian (after Zoey took her phone,) dried and stacked the bowls and cups.

When all was tidied, they settled for the night: Zoey took out her notebooks and started quizzing Miss Yumi on her experiences with magic. Suki plopped on the couch with one of her sketchpads and started doodling, while Lillian plugged her earbuds into her phone and searched YouTube for 'Black Sabbath'.

_Whoa!_

"I'm learning so much about higher magic," Zoey gushed later that night as she and Lillian brushed their teeth in the bathroom. "Miss Yumi's experiences are so unlike what I imagined! It's a complete paradigm shift for me!"

"Her music's pretty chill." Dad and cousin Mikey had always tried to hook her on their classic rock oldies but Lillian had resisted like a toddler being spoon-fed vegetable mush. "Hey, Zoe, she showed me these Canadian guys, _Rush_. I think you'd dig them."

"Link me to the playlist. Anyway, I should get to bed while I can."

"Three AM Hong Kong broadcast?"

"Four," Zoey winced. Lillian spat her toothpaste and waved her off.

"Get goin', boss bitch. Those horny businessmen can't jack off without ya."

Zoey rolled her eyes, tidied up and, when she reached the door, paused. "Call me crazy but I think this year will be the best Winter Solstice ever!"

"Zoe, you crazy!"

Zoey grinned (Lillian's heart fluttered) and she waved her way off. When Lillian heard Zoey's door click shut, she whipped out her phone, opened an incognito tab and fired up a very special bookmark.

 **Agent** **Z:  
** **Where Wicca meets Erotica**

_Panromantic_ _, Demisexual, Genderqueer Wiccan Priestess of Colour Experiencing Disabilities.  
"Join me as I perform the ultimate fertility rituals..."_

**Premium Members Login **

Lillian's eyes sparkled once she spied the updates tab - _New Gallery: Purple T-Back_. She bit her lip and hissed.

"Fuck, yeah."


	5. Dreck the Halls!

After that first show-stoppingly scrumptious meal from Miss Yumi, all of the Dark Coven's worries about bad vibes and tainted auras flew out the window like Victorian London trash. Aiko Yumi was here to stay.

A comfortable routine settled over the trio-turned-quartet: every morning, Zoey would rush off to university, while Lillian and Suki would shuffle and skip off to their respective workplaces. At the door, Miss Yumi would toss each girl a brown bag lunch and high-five them off. She spent her days shopping, puttering around the loft and prepping a tasty feast for three hungry mouths.

"Isn't it _sugoi?_ " Suki chirped on the walk home. "Coming home and having all of the cooking ready and done? Yumi-san's like our very own Snow White!"

And before either girl could butt in, she was skipping and chirping: _"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's home from work we go!"_

"Omigod, you wanna put a sock in it, Dopey?"

"Nyehh! Kuroko-chan is Grumpy, of course!"

Zoey put on Doc's good-natured smile but she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. "I suppose if Miss Yumi is offering to play the role of a traditional housewife, as women, we need to support her choice."

Secretly, her unease went beyond mildly problematic gender roles. Secretly, she'd been repressing an ugly thought and its bad vibe had begun to fester in her mind. A dull ache had been growling inside her skull, buzzing insect-like through her ear drums until - _dammit, that ringing sensation -_ the one she'd thought long-gone reared its ugly head and made Zoey wince once more.

Miss Yumi... she asked so many irritating questions!

"What's with all the crystals?" "Are you sure you should be lighting all that incense with the windows closed?" "Hey, if you're a witch now, how come you still dress like you're popping ecstacy at a rave? Are you sure?"

When Zoey had met Lillian, the goth brat had already been engrossed in her occult and fantasy hobbies; she'd been so open and receptive to witchcraft. And Suki … Suki, bless her soul, had such open-mindedness when it came to 'niche' hobbies and fascinations. But Miss Yumi...

 _Are you sure?_ Even after Zoey explained in detail, there was always that last-minute double check, like Miss Yumi was a game show hostess trying to throw off her contestant. Zoey could point out that the sky was blue and Miss Yumi would still raise an eyebrow and smirk, "are you sure?"

And it was always about the most basic tenants of their spirituality! Case in point: "So, what's this Winter Solstice business all about?"

 _Diiing~!_ The blasted little ear chime made Zoey drop her university notes. She glared daggers. Sensing the disturbance in the Force, Suki glanced up from her sketchpad and Lillian (after an elbow nudge) lifted her nose out of her phone.

"You really don't know about the Yuletide season?" Zoey exclaimed.

"Is this like, Chanukah for witches? You kids sure do make a fuss over it."

Zoey snapped her textbook shut and marched over to the TV area, ready to speechify. Suki sat up on her knees, a youngster all set for story time!

"As you know, the winter solstice refers to the one calendar day of the year when the Earth's Northern hemisphere receives the least amount of daylight. In the Wiccan calendar, it is a day of important symbolism and ceremony."

Suki wriggled her fingers at the couch crew and put on her best spooky monster voice. _"Where zere is dark-u-ness, zere is also … za light-o!_ "

Lillian groaned. Zoey cleared her throat and continued.

"For witches, we celebrate the winter solstice as the literal and figurative return of light and hope to our world. As the sun returns, so does peace and prosperity!"

"Wait, so … does that mean for witches in Australia, it's the crappiest day of the year? The time when darkness starts overtaking the Earth?"

Lillian and Suki glanced to Zoey for guidance. She coughed. "I'll… lookin into that. Anyway, for us, we celebrate a festival known as Yule."

" _Yule_ forgive me if I didn't know that."

"Essentially, it's a time of spiritual rebirth and renewal. To celebrate, we'll perform cleansing rituals to eliminate the negative energy accumulated over the year."

"Like, we do this whole smudging ceremony with sage 'n sweetgrass to like, smoke the bad vibes off us."

"- then we sweep all the baddies from the apartment!"

To demonstrate, Suki bounded to the closet to retrieve an old broomstick, stamping it on the floor and brushing in overdrive like she was an anime hero delivering a flurry of punches. " _Ora-ora-ora-ora-ora! Omae wa mou shindeiru_ , dust-kun!"

"Wow, a holiday for neat freaks and hypochondriacs. You ladies really know how to live it up."

Zoey put out an open palm. Suki handed over the broom and went back to being a good little listener. "Besides the cleaning ceremonies, we'll also decorate the halls with wreaths of made of pine and mistletoe!"

"Ohhh, I get it now." Miss Yumi leaned into Lillian and stage-whispered, "It's just like Christmas."

"Then, we'll cut down a pine tree and dress it with lights and ornaments."

Miss Yumi nudged Suki next. "It's just like Christmas."

"And on the day of the solstice, we'll gather 'round our table, we'll feast and we'll chant and wassail!"

"It's just like-"

Zoey's broomstick thwacked the coffee table.

"Check your privilege, Miss Yumi! Yule isn't just like Christmas, Christmas is _just like Yule!_ The early Christians co-opted our pagan traditions, they colonized our celebrations! We celebrate a rich and authentic holy festival, not some corporate-mandated gift-giving day!"

"Whoa, okay. I get it. Christmas, bad. Yule, good. Is this gonna be on the test?"

Zoey squiggled a finger into her ringing ear. "Let's just start the decorating..."

* * *

"Question: I thought we needed to chop an evergreen for the Yule tree. Since when does a coat rack with green, plastic tassels count?"

Zoey frowned at the unflattering description but Miss Yumi wasn't far off the mark. Picked up second hand from a thrift shop, the sad sack artificial tree was so thin and ratty, it might have once belonged to poor old Charlie Brown. Just removing it from the box had dumped about half its poly-vinyl needles onto the floor. The thought of sweeping up all that mess made her ears ring again.

"We have to be flexible with our modern day rituals. Hurry up and help me with the decorations."

Zoey opened the boxes of ornaments that she, Lillian and Suki had crafted these last weeks. Zoey had stuffed sacred herbs into colourful pouches to hang, Lillian had strung up crystals on wire to wrap around as garland and Suki had made diamond-shaped God's Eye ornaments by weaving yarn around popsicle sticks. What decorations hadn't been hand-made, they had purchased second hand. Not a penny had gone into the till of the soulless big box retailers.

Miss Yumi looked at the boxes with glee. "Ooh, hang on - I saved some ornaments from my place. They're in my bags, lemmie get them."

When she returned, Suki squealed at the miniature, yarn-spun Santa Claus. "Chibi Claus," she exclaimed, "and Frosty-kun!" An adorable fluffy snowman with a Santa hat stood ready to join the boughs.

But Zoey put her foot down. "Miss Yumi, no. You are not putting those false idols on our tree."

"Idols? C'mon, kiddo - it's Santa! I got this from a good friend of mine."

"And that friend of yours clearly drank a little deeply from the capitalist Kool-Aid! The 'Santa Claus' you worship as a benevolent gift-giver? He's actually a corporate mascot invented by Coca Cola in 1931 to encourage rampant consumerism and selfish spending. I will not have a soft drink advertisement on my Yule tree!"

"Aw, don't be such a grinch! Right, girls?"

Lillian shrugged. "Like, it's just one bearded dude, Zoe. You totally let me put up my Jack Skellington ornament."

"And they're totes kawaii!"

The nerve of that woman, using her easily-persuaded friends as supportive arguments in a debate!

"Don't you people understand? It's not just the consumerist origins! Jolly Old Saint Nick is a tool of the patriarchy and a symbol of rape culture!"

"Like, whaa?"

"N-nani? S-Santa-san's… on the naughty list?"

Suki's eyes trembled like jello. Only Miss Yumi had the presence of mind to cross her arms and exclaim, "excuse me?"

Zoey rolled her eyes. _Clearly someone needs to take a few more courses in gender and women's studies._ "Come on, Miss Yumi. Think about it: what does Santa do on Christmas Eve?"

"Umm, he slides down the chimney? Visits your house? Leaves presents under the tree? Maybe grabs some milk and cookies on the way out?"

"Exactly! Entering through the chimney - using a canal-like passage to penetrate your personal space! He's a male body who invades the household - a stereotypically feminine domain! He 'deposits' presents without the occupant's consent! Don't you see it? Christmas promotes violence against women! Santa is a rapist!"

She hadn't meant to scream that last bit but the ringing in her ears forced her to raise her voice. It seemed to do the trick. Suki's jaw had unhinged; even Lillian had the decency to look stunned, but Miss Yumi just adjusted her eyeglasses and put on a weirded-out frown.

"Zoey, are you sure?"

"Yes! Damn right, I'm sure!"

"'Cause Santa's gotta be pushing at least eighty. Wouldn't that make him impotent?"

Zoey stopped.

The ringing in her ears, so loud, so violent - it was like Miss Yumi had hit the 'mute' button. She was suddenly very exposed and very alone with her very silly-sounding thoughts.

"Umm…"

"And if you think about it, isn't Santa Claus the end-goal of feminism? I mean, he's an old white man pressed into servitude during the holidays, providing material comfort to people of all races, sexualities and genders. Santa's a total beta-male pushover!"

"I … hadn't thought of that." Zoey rapped her knuckles against her head, wondering if that would jump-start the familiar ringing. Lillian and Suki were looking at her, equally confused and off balance by Miss Yumi's sudden and decisive victory..

"Senpai?"

"Like, umm..."

Zoey bit her thumb. "The snowman with the Santa hat? You can put him on the tree. But _only_ because the Frosty carol teaches young children to explore cryomancy and the construction of golems."

"Deal!" Flashing the most easy-going smile ever, Miss Yumi trotted up to to the plastic wreck of a tree and found a nice high bough for her little snowman. "There, see? That wasn't so bad."

It was a simple exchange, but one that left Zoey stunned. _Was I … wrong in my analysis of Santa Claus?_

But she'd read so many feminist Twitter feeds! And all those intersectionality blogs, all backing up her claims! Mizz Cheska (zie/zer) from the gender studies department had given her an A for her essay on the anti-feminist violence present in Kris Kringle. It wasn't rare to find her opinions challenged, but to be debunked so quickly, so thoroughly...

And if she was wrong about Santa… What else was she wrong about?

* * *

As they trimmed their not-a-Christmas tree, Suki found her own face decorated with a pensive frown. _Putting up decorations... it's supposed to be a happy time, ne?_

She'd been smiling quite happily until just now. Yumi-san was grinning like the Cheshire cat; even frowny old Lillian-chan was bouncing abound with an extra pep to her step. Zoey-senpai, though, just seemed to be going through the motions: her mouth a thin line, her head deep in thought. Like their poor little Christ- err, Yuletide tree, senpai seemed shaken and frail.

This called for a special bit of Suki-chan holiday cheer!

" _Mité mité_ , senpai! I made matching God's Eyes for each of us! See? I'm orange and pink, Lillian is purple and black and yours is yellow and blue - just like your favorite outfit!"

Senpai shook her head and, for a moment, her eyes regained their sparkle. "Well how about that. Are those … little goggles on mine?"

"Hai! I made those by wrapping pipe cleaners into a headband! You have goggles, I put a skull sticker on Kuroko-chan's and a flower on mine!"

And just like that, Zoey cracked a grin. It was a weak smile and her eyes still had that tired look, but in that instant, Suki's heart swelled with the pride of a job well done. _My senpai is smiling again! I did good!_

"We should put them somewhere high up so we can all see. Maybe … above the TV?"

"Hai! I'm on it!"

"Oh, and could you make another for Miss Yumi?"

"Something with mint green," the ex-teacher chimed.

"Anything you want, senpai!"

What lucky timing - the phone in her bra gave a quick buzz. _Message received-o!_ Suki excused herself to find more yarn, taking the opportunity to pop out her phone and read over her new e-mail.

**From: Madame Jezebelle**

**Subject: re: magic stones, onegai! **

_Miss Stevens,_

_Thank you for contacting Madame Jezebelle's Magic Emporium. I'm sorry to hear that you were unable to find anything sufficiently... "super-duper old" on my website._

_I should inform you that, beyond my online catalogue, I do traffic in more … specialized artifacts and antiquities that have come into my possession. I've attached a photograph of one such relic that may be of interest to your coven. Please reply to arrange a time for an in-person showing._

_Blessings of the all-mother upon you,_

_-Madame Jezebelle,_

_Witch, Order of Hecate, first class._

Innocently enough, Suki clicked the attachment. A dark sparkle bombarded her eyes.

"Aw, wow! This'll be perfect for senpai!" Two fingers tugged at the image, magnifying so she could read the name on the stone's placard. "Oooh!"

_The Obsidian Heart._


	6. Silver Bells

Zoey frowned as she studied Miss Yumi, kicking back on the couch in her sweats, scribbling in the newspaper without a care in the world. Finally aware of glaring red and blue eyes, the ex-teacher glanced up from her Sudoku puzzle. "Oh hey, kiddo. Shit, barely one o'clock. Done classes already?"

"It's a Friday. I told you my classes always finish at noon." _Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. We've been over this._

"Mmm, sounds familiar. How was the ol' U of G? Boring as hell without me up front, am I right?"

"Miss Yumi, it's almost one o'clock. I have to get ready for work."

"Ahh." The newspaper lowered and two smirking eyes waggled. "Gonna rub one in for the cam?"

Zoey crossed her arms and tapped a finger, matching the alarm bell percussion battering her ears. Miss Yumi raised a hand in surrender. "I gotcha. Time for me to take a walk. Don't want to intrude on the artist at work."

Zoey pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed out a "thank you." Honestly, even Lillian had been more accommodating and the goth had shared a one-room dorm with her. _It's like she enjoys irritating me._

"Oh, I was meaning to ask: what's your porn name? Just curious."

"Zoey."

"No, I mean your porn -"

"Zoey _is_ my online handle. My 'porn name', as you call it. Agent Zoey. Agent Z for short."

"But Zoey's your-"

"Miss Yumi, the persona I present online is the same one I assume IRL. If people can't handle both sides of me, then they're not worth my time. I have nothing to hide from the world."

"Huh... but I can't stay and listen to you get off?"

Zoey's contacts nearly popped. "Absolutely not!"

"Okay. I get it, I get it. Yeesh, learn to take a joke, kiddo."

Miss Yumi retreated to her room to gather her things. Although she needed to prep her computer, Zoey remained in the main room, curious. _What's she going to pull out of those bags today?_

Two small duffel bags and a knapsack - all that remained of Miss Yumi's material possessions, the bare essentials. Her clothes fit into the first bag. The second was a mystery (although Lillian, snooping while the older woman took a walk, emerged shell-shocked and muttering something about "freakin' handcuffs and leather..."). The knapsack carried Miss Yumi's hobby supplies, and they were as bizarre and hard to read as the woman herself.

One day, Zoey had returned to find Miss Yumi on a yoga mat, practicing her poses. On another, she'd been in the kitchen, experimenting with a cookbook's baking recipes. A further day found Miss Yumi with a tennis racquet in hand, bopping a rubber ball up in the air like a child's paddleball.

_Pity she's got a way to go with her hobbies_. The yoga sessions inevitably ended with sharp spasms and a sore back. Miss Yumi's cookies came out of the oven black and charred. As for the indoor tennis, Zoey had put a stop to that disaster before the ball could bounce near anything breakable, thank the All-Mother.

Today, the hobby of choice seemed to be a small scrapbook shedding shoddily-glued leaves and twigs onto the floor. When Miss Yumi finally noticed the breadcrumb trail leading back to her room, only a few deep, slow breaths kept her from cursing up a storm.

"You don't seem like the type to enjoy scrapbooking leaves," Zoey commented.

"It's so -" a steadying breath, "It's so not my thing." Miss Yumi seemed determined not to let the word 'hate' slip her lips. "I dunno, a friend suggested it. I'm just trying different things to keep my mind from… wandering."

"You don't have any hobbies of your own?"

"Hobbies? Sure, tons! It's just -" A pause, another long exhale, "I really need to try some new stuff."

"So you're going to waste your time doing things you dislike? Conforming to what others think are acceptable activities?" Zoey took out her phone, clacked a quick Tweet to her subscribers. _Something came up, gotta cancel today's stream._ Matters of identity and authenticity came above all else.

"Tell me, what do you like to do?"

"What are you, my therapist?" But when Zoey held out, Miss Yumi sighed and scratched the back of her neck. "I mean, I've always had a thing for drawing. Of course, my art teachers all told me my paintings were crap that would never sell."

"You can't judge your talents by a monetary value, Miss Yumi. Besides, the modern art world is completely corrupt - controlled by a few select galleries and families!"

"The mainstream media too, I bet?"

"Absolutely! The Jews have the cable networks and movie studios locked down tight."

Miss Yumi reared back. "I thought you were a liberal. When did you start spouting Neo-Nazi talking points?"

"But I read on Twitter that -"

"Are you sure?"

That smug double-check again. Zoey coughed quickly. "Let's move on. You like art, what else?"

"Drinking."

"Pardon?"

"Thinking," Miss Yumi snapped. "Thinking long and depressing thoughts about how my life is like a crappy rental car stalled on the highway. And I guess I like jacking off too."

"Come on, Miss Yumi. There must be something in your life that brings you joy!"

"Ugh, will you lay off already?" Frustrated beyond words, Miss Yumi plunked herself on the couch, massaging her temples. Sensing the need to back down, Zoey marched to her room. A small voice caught her at the door.

"Card games."

Zoey returned and joined Miss Yumi on the couch. "Solitaire does seem up your alley."

"Pfft! Asshole. I like games with a bit of risk. Poker, Blackjack … maybe a roll on the Craps table…"

A small grin crept onto the Asian woman's face. Zoey smiled too. _I've got her!_ "If you enjoy games, you should join me and the girls for our Dungeons and Dragons session tonight."

But Miss Yumi groaned and muttered something about 'nerd hobbies'. Zoey pressed on. "At least sit in and watch! Here, I'll text Lillian about it. She and Suki are both off work early today. They're probably just picking up some beer."

Miss Yumi did a double-take. "There'll be beer?"

"Of course. It's a night to unwind, isn't it?"

Miss Yumi seemed to give the question the utmost thought. Her whole body seized up, like she was being directed at gunpoint to walk off a tall, bottomless cliff. Yet if Zoey had slipped on her goggles and read the older woman's aura, she would have found a mass of black tentacles wriggling with puppy-like excitement.

Aiko Yumi finally gulped. "I guess I could sit in for a bit..."

"Excellent. I'll text Lil to let her know." _Seriously, what's keeping those girls?_

* * *

Wedged between a Starbucks and an Apple Store, the rickety wooden signboard of Madame Jezebelle's Magic Emporium flooded Suki with happy thoughts of her senpai. _Never falling in with the crowd, always so cool and doing what_ she _wants._ It must have been a sign from that All-Mother lady Zoey kept talking about! This was the place she'd find the perfect Solstice present!

At her side, Lillian gave the run-down shop a harsh one-over. "Well, better than nothing."

Door chimes clinked as Lillian and Suki pressed their way into the dimly lit shop. Sharp incense struck their nostrils. Inside, creaky wooden bookshelves and dusty display cases were crammed into every inch of the floor. Their heads bopped against baubles hanging from the ceiling. Lillian grimaced. _Like walking into a freakin' hoarder's attic!_

"Miss Stevens and Miss Aurawell, I presume. Welcome."

Madame Jezebelle spread her robed arms in greeting. Frocked in a tie-dyed, ankle-length dress, her wavy, gray hair held back in a headband, the ancient witch was like a living manifestation of her shop – ancient and of a bygone era. Purple Lennon glasses concealed her eyes, adding to her aura of mystery.

Lillian's nose twitch. _Potpourri and mothballs, gross!_

"She smells like my obasan's house," Suki whispered.

The witch waved them over to the sales counter, where a rune-covered jewelry box awaited their inspection. "Daughters of Hecate, gather close and steel your souls, for you are about to witness one of the marvels of antiquity: the Obsidian Heart!"

Suki didn't simply approach, she felt her entire body drawn towards the box, compelled by powers beyond her imagination to look inside. _It's calling to me, desu..._

There. Lying dormant on a bed of crushed velvet was a black rectangular stone, roughly the size and shape of a television remote control. Though rough in texture, its edges were almost impossibly smooth. Suki's transfixed reflection 'oohed' back at her from within the stone.

Prepared to enthrall her guests, Madame Jezebelle produced a pen light and shone it upon the stone. Suki gasped. Inside the top half of the stone, preserved like a mosquito in amber was -

"A big, pink butt?" Lillian shoved her way close. Suki pouted and butted back.

"No, Kuroko-chan! It's a heart!"

Lillian looked again and there it was, a milky pink heart, something out of a kitschy Hallmark Valentine's card, just as smooth and perfectly formed as its obsidian casing. Perfectly preserved. This was beyond mortal ability to forge.

"Kay, I don't get it. Shouldn't it be the Pearl Heart or the Pink Quartz Heart or whatever?"

Madame Jezebelle gave a knowing chuckle. "Child, what you see here is a stone dating back to Greek antiquity. Unearthed from the lost city of Pompeii, discovered in the ruins of the Temple of Aphrodite, it's said that the Obsidian Heart was used by chosen high priests as a medium for communing with the gods!"

Suki gave another awe-struck 'oooh'. Madame J smiled and delivered the goods.

"While no witch has yet to tap its true potential, we know this much: the Obsidian Heart reacts in the presence of powerful emotional energy."

To Suki's utter shock, Madame Jezebelle offered her the stone. "Hold it close, child. Close your eyes and focus your mind on the image of a loved one. Concentrate. What do you feel?"

Suki's heart flooded with images of her senpai. "It feels … heavy?"

"No warmth? No flash of power? A pity. Perhaps your bond with this person is not as deep as -"

"N-no, I definitely feel something! Eto… it's um warm and um, ooh! The heart! I think I saw it flash!"

"Well done, child! You and this person are certainly destined to be bonded for eternity!"

"We are? I- I mean, of course we are! Hear that, Lillian?"

_Suuuure. Freakin' hell, you're gonna get eaten alive at the car dealerships, Suki._ "So like, it's an ancient Egyptian love tester?"

"Doubting child, in the hands of a true daughter of Hecate, this is a window into the human soul!"

"Riiiight." Lillian had dealt with enough smooth-talking assholes trying to get into her pants. Time to cut around the bullshit. "How much you want for it?"

Flashing her crooked brown teeth, Madame J slid a card across the table. Lillian gagged. "Two hundred bucks for a paper weight? Like, seriously? Seriously?"

"But Lillian, it's magic! And it's old, like Miss Yumi's sake bottle! If we bought it for senpai -"

"Zoey would flip her shit if we spent that kinda dough! Suki -" but the kid was being a total brat about it, clutching the stone to her chest. "Suki, put it-"

Live wires. Lillian shrieked the instant her fingers touched the stone, jolting back from the electric zap. _Mother fucker!_ Suki yelped too, dropping the stone like she'd grasped a boiling pot.

The Obsidian Heart plunked against the shop carpet, and in the dim environment, both girls swore to Hecate the All-Mother that the dull crystal heart glowed like a hot, pink ball of coal.

Suki looked to Lillian. "We're you … thinking of senpai?"

_Zoey?_ Her mind may have wandered to that new Agent Z photo-set with the loose, too-large tank top, the one with a choice nip slip or two. "... Maybe."

Both girls turned to Madame Jezebelle, leaning on her counter with an enigmatic smile. "Like, we get paid next Friday. Can you, like -"

"Assuming another buyer has not arrived, the stone is yours."

Both girls nodded at once. "Done!"

They clasped hands to shake on the deal, then Madame Jezebelle waved them off.

"Farewell, dearest sisters in magic! Fortune and prosperity upon you!" Then the door rattled shut and Madame J gave a deep sigh. "Dumbass kids."

She whipped off her glasses and yanked her gray wig clean off, pulling out a joint she'd tucked behind her ear. As she inhaled, her bloodshot eyes glanced to the rock on the floor. Madame J picked it up, puzzling over its lifeless, dull stone. A quick tap. Nothing.

"What the fuck was that about?"


	7. Warning Bells

"Omigawd, are you freakin' kidding me, Zoe?"

Lillian Aurawell didn't give a damn about much. Her parents could fuck right off, all those "study and get a good job" try-hards could go blow themselves, and she'd gladly shove a big, flippin' bird right up the butts of all those "cardiovascular specialists" nagging her about her smokes.

But god dammit, if you fucked with her D'nD campaigns…

"I just thought it would be beneficial for Miss Yumi to join us," Zoey explained.

"So you go behind my effin' back, just invite her without my say? We're way far in this campaign, Zoe. I don't want some freakin' noob holding up the party, m'kay?"

Zoey frowned and, god dammit, it was that same ' _I expect better of you'_ frown her dad used whenever she bitched at mom too much. "Lillian, she's our coven sister."

And just like with dad, Lillian could only roll her eyes and groan. "Ugh, fiiiine. I'll go talk to Miss Yu." Lillian glanced to the Asian woman in gray sweats standing right next to Zoey. "Hey."

"Hey yourself. Aren't we just dripping with enthusiasm?"

Lillian crossed her arms. "You know anything about Fifth Edition? Character creation? Like, you done any role playing games before?"

"Oh, more than you can imagine, Lilly Pie. What gets your crank turning? Sexy teacher? Hot librarian? Or maybe you just need a tall woman with a firm hand to call 'mommy'?"

Lillian's mouth flatlined. "Zoe, the noob can watch tonight but that’s it, m'kay?"

"Thanks, Lil."

The goth brat shot a final warning at the kinky pervert. "You can look, m'kay? And I swear to god, if you get any potato chip grease on my papers I am seriously gonna choke a bitch."

Miss Yumi purred. "That a promise?"

Lillian cringed. _Just effin’ kill me…_

* * *

After bolting down a quick dinner, the coven sisters cleared the dishes and transformed the dining table into a high fantasy battleground. Lillian plunked a chair at the head of the table, barricading her secret campaign notes behind a folding board. Bowls of chips and Pocky were served, character sheets and dice were laid out like table settings and the siren sweet 'pssht' of beer can tabs cracking open made Aiko Yumi sit at attention like a dog at dinnertime.

Zoey took a sip of amber nectar, then glanced across the table. "Miss Yumi, want to try one of my locally brewed IPAs? It supports small, independent producers."

"Umm…"

"Or if you prefer something more culturally diverse, Lillian has Coronas in the fridge."

" _One,_ " Lillian snapped, laying down the law. "Like, you can have _one_."

"I think I'll stick with water." Miss Yumi gave a weak smile, which drooped into a frown as soon as Suki plunked her wide bottom beside her on the bench. The ganguro girl flashed an adoring smile at her Asian besto friendo.

"I'm drinking ramune! Here, have a sip, Yumi-san!"

"On second thought, maybe I'll grab something from the fridge." Miss Yumi stood and power-walked away. When she returned, beer in hand, she took the empty seat next to Zoey. Suki didn't seem to mind. _Now I can look at my senpai and my tomodachi at the same time!_

"Yumi-san, I bought all sorts of snacks from the Asian market so you wouldn't feel homesick!" She gestured to the spread of pastries. "Do you want some manju? Ooh, maybe some daifuku with red bean paste?"

Miss Yumi looked over the confectionaries and gave a wicked smile. _"Suki-chan, dōshite son'nani akushū ga suru no?"_

Suki's smile dropped a notch. "Huh?"

" _Watashi ga anata ni chikadzuku toki, sore wa watashi ga uoichiba ni iru yōna monodesu."_

Suki tilted her head. "Huh?"

Sighing deeply, Miss Yumi swapped back. "White girl says 'nani'?"

"N-nani?"

"Yeah, I thought so."

Zoey gave an uncomfortable wince. Suki didn't have long to dwell in confusion, because Lillian banged the table for attention. "Like, can we get this show on the road already? God, you people take forever!"

* * *

As she laid out the campaign summary, Lillian's slacker drawl morphed into the dark and serious tones of an ancient storyteller. A time of darkness had fallen over the land of Ukiyo, all thanks to the evil Bitch-Queen Marie, ruler of the Court of Winters. Duke Marcus of the House of Kane, the last good noble in a corrupted kingdom, had secretly summoned an intrepid band of adventurers to secure the four crests of valour that would unlock the temple of Arthurm so he could claim the Dawn Sword, the only weapon capable of smiting the Queen’s dark magic.

Three warriors had answered the Duke’s call: Blake the warlock (they/them), augmented with clockwork limbs and master of authentic magic; Cera the bard, a cute and beloved idol who charmed tavern crowds with her peculiar brand of _jape'op_ minstrelsy. Lastly, Lillandra the Dark Elf Necromancer, prodigious outcast of the Unseelie Court.

"Lillandra has one violet eye and one gray eye and she could totally burn a whole village if she unleashed the demon spirit bound to her cursed left arm. She used to be the Queen's court mage except she totally couldn't stand how Mo- I mean, Marie kept trying to control her and tell her how to live her life."

Miss Yumi pursed her lips. "This all seems a bit... autobiographical."

"Shaddap!"

To gain the first crest, the party had sought out Sir Thomas of the House of Lennon, a young lord who'd abandoned his station to become a burlesque performer in the busy city. After saving the strapping actor from a band of drunken goblin brawlers, Sir Thomas offered the party his crest. He also offered Lillandra a private performance in his room that had lasted all night long.

"Umm, okay. Interesting footnote."

The second crest lay in the forests of the Amazon kingdom, ruled by Queen Talia "the Stone" who respected only strength. After becoming champions of the Amazon coliseum, the Queen surrendered her crest; later that evening, she'd surrendered her body to the amazing Lillandra.

"I'm confused. Is this Lord of the Rings or an HBO skin-flick?"

"SSH!"

The third crest lay in the scurvy hands of Captain Farndee, leader of the gnarly, music-loving Pirates of Clueless Emotions. After Farndee and Cera jammed out in a competitive electric lute duel, his crest was surrendered to the more worthy rock idol.

"See," Lillian drawled, "like, it's not all sex. Oh, except Lillandra totally banged the Captain's brother, Aiman."

"Noted."

The final crest awaited the party at the heart of the Bog Canyon, a deep, boxed-in ravine perfectly tailored for surprise ambushes. "Two swamp trolls lumber out of the fog, brandishing their spiked maces! Roll for initiative!"

The party fought valiantly: Cera crooned until her vocal cords rasped, Lillandra conjured every blight and hex in her spell book and Blake managed to blast off a magic missile or two _without_ getting her robes shredded mid-combat. But all was for naught: the party found themselves sprawled in the mud, bleeding and at critical HP.

"Omigod you guys, how do you seriously let those trolls bitch slap you around like this?"

"Mou! Lillandra-kun got bad rolls too!"

"If you stall for time, Blake could set up a citrine crystal grid to boost our positive energy."

Miss Yumi clicked her tongue. "On the ground, ass up and surrounded by huge dudes in loincloths. Sounds like Lillandra's dream come true, huh Lilly Pie?"

Lillian frothed. This was going to be a campaign game over if she didn't act fast. _Like, desperate times and all that shit_. "So like, the first swamp troll raises his club to paste your asses but just then, a mysterious stranger bolts out of the bushes. It's a human, female rogue. Her name is..."

Miss Yumi choked on her beer as Lillian slid her a character sheet and with it, the fate of the party. "Me? Um, okay... hark, yon smelly trolls for my name doth be... Alice?"

"Wow, m'kay. Alice the Rogue."

Suki wailed. "Alice-san, _tasukete!"_

Lillian handed over a pair of D6 dice. Miss Yumi reared back. "No, I ... I really shouldn't. I'm not supposed to -"

"What? Not supposed to get scared like a little bitch when someone hands you plastic cubes?"

"No, it's that ... I kinda have a problem with -"

"C'mon, Yumi-san! Play with us!"

"Yeah, don't puss out on us!"

Zoey offered an encouraging smile. "You said you enjoyed games. Be your authentic self, Miss Yumi."

A droplet of sweat trickled down Aiko Yumi's forehead as her eyes darted between the three hellions egging her on. She coughed - cotton mouth - and took a quick swig of beer to parch her throat and settle her nerves. "I guess one roll can't hurt..."

Swallowing slowly, Miss Yumi reached for the dice with all the trepidation of Frodo Baggins reaching for the One Ring. She shook them, she rolled -

"Eight!"

"Eff yeah! The first troll takes four points of damage."

"Yatta!"

"Good shot!"

Tossing the dice had left Miss Yumi winded and stunned ( _like chucking cinder blocks,_ Zoey reflected) but their cheers seemed to rouse her, seemed to excite her and Miss Yumi found her second wind. She seized the dice once more.

"I attack again. I can do that, right?"

"Umm, I guess you've still got initiative."

The dice clattered. "Six!"

"The troll grunts and grabs its arm. Two more damage."

Miss Yumi whooped! "All right, yeah! Not bad!"

"Careful now, Alice," Zoey called in her character voice. "Those trolls aren't finished yet!"

Lillian nodded, rolling her DM dice. "The first troll swings its club and... totally nails Alice right in the back. Five points of damage."

"I grab my daggers and shank the smelly bastard!"

Lillian frowned. "Or you could, y'know, use your Fleet Feet skill t'like, run over to Lillandra and the gang, maybe toss them that whole buttload of potions in your satchel?"

"No, I got this." A ferocious glint overtook Miss Yumi's eyes. "Alice is on the attack for... Lucky seven!"

"Ugh, fine... Three points. The troll takes a cut on the leg, he swings his club again and... Aw shit, six damage! Look, Miss Yu, if you don't help -"

"Attack! Again!"

"Again? Are you for real?"

"Yes, do it! You’re rolling D4s for the trolls, right? I've got 35 minus 11 health right now. I can last at least three turns, and that's assuming you get max level rolls. Alice attacks."

Lillian shrugged. "Your funeral. Lemmie see... Three damage, and the troll attacks you for ... seven!"

"Again, attack! Five damage!"

"Troll knocks you back for five."

"Alice keeps swinging! Three!"

"The troll busts your dumb human skull for eight damage."

"Four points left... no, I got this. I got this. C'mon, baby. Mama needs a new troll-hide rug... rolling, rolling..."

A hush fell over the table. Zoey chewed a dreadfall, Suki squeaked, clinging to Zoey's arm and Lillian squeezed her pencil so hard it snapped. Miss Yumi's fist bundled around the drawstrings of her hoodie, yanking until her top throttled her neck like a noose.

All eyes followed the rattling dice as they tumbled and bounced and settled on -

"Five!"

Lillian collapsed in her seat. "Holy crap... Like, the troll groans and stumbles to the ground, like, totally gushing blood and entrails everywhere. Alice gets 154 XP."

Miss Yumi shot up, fists pumping. "Fuck yeah! Whoo! Who's the boss? I'm the boss!"

Zoey and Suki gave a cheer, but nowhere near the level of Miss Yumi's showboating. She crushed Zoey in a hug, she ran behind Lillian and ruffled the goth girl's hair; she even skipped over to Suki-chan and high fived the weeaboo over and over again. The crowing and whooping went on for a whole five minutes before she finally flopped into her seat, exhausted and satisfied. She pointed a finger at Lillian's pack of smokes. "Hey, can I bum one off you?"

Lillian was too preoccupied smoothing her pigtails to object as Miss Yumi plucked a cigarette and then her lighter. A quick butane click and she sucked her cigarette halfway to the filter. "Ohh fuck, I missed this. So good."

Then she whipped off her stifling hoodie for a bra-less tank top and shook her hair free of its duckbill clip before grabbing another beer off the table and guzzling it down in one go. A piggish "BRRAP!" erupted from her esophagus.

The coven sisters stared, mortified at Miss Yumi in her decadent afterglow. Lillian was the first to revive. "Kay, so then -"

"Alice attacks the next troll."

"Whaa? Bitch, you got four HP left!"

"I got this! You see how I wasted that first troll? C'mon, all or nothing; I feel lucky! Let's roll these motherfuckers!"

"You're gonna be feeling a boot up your ass if you don't heal your -" but Miss Yumi was already rolling for initiative.

"Seven," she crowed. Lillian sighed.

"The second troll - the totally bigger troll, takes one point of damage. He swings his spiked mace and... Critical hit. 12 points. Alice's head smacks against the ravine wall like a ripe watermelon, gushing brains and blood. Her body slumps over in the muck and shits itself." Lillian shrugged. "Game over, Miss Yu."

Miss Yumi's cigarette went limp. Her body followed, collapsing head-first on the table in a fist-banging, shrieking and self-flagellating mess. "Dammit, dammit, dammit! _Aiko baka!_ _Anata ga katte iru ma, anata wa sarubekidesu. Baaaaka!"_

The Dark Coven looked on in utter confusion as Aiko snatched a third beer (Zoey's) and a fourth (Lillian's); then began stuffing her mouth with Japanese sweets to ease the pain. Red-eyed and puffy-faced, she looked like a woman who'd lost the winning lottery ticket.

No amount of shoulder nudging or calling could console her, so everyone picked up their papers and adjourned to the TV area, where Lillian wrapped up the night. Potions from Alice's decapitated corpse had rolled within grasping range of Blake, Cera and Lillandra. Wounds healed, the trio smote the final troll, claimed their XP and loot and set up a makeshift grave for their one-time ally and savior. As Lillandra delivered a small eulogy to the rogue "damn stupid... but kinda awesome", Zoey realized that Miss Yumi had stumbled over to join them in their memorial. Numbed with alcohol, Aiko Yumi gave a drunken chuckle.

"Kinda awesome way to bite the dust, huh? Hella good game, ladies!"

Zoey joined in her smile.

* * *

"Alice. Interesting choice there. A Lewis Carroll reference?"

The coven had marched up to the roof of their apartment building. In the crisp, winter air, Lillian had started a fire in one of the rooftop barbecue pits. Miss Yumi, freshly showered and looking newly professional in her red turtleneck and pencil skirt cracked a grin at the cybergoth witch.

"What, like the Wonderland Alice? Naw. When my grandpa shipped me over to the States, Alice was my English name. Alice Yumi. My deadbeat uncle told me _'nobody'll take you seriously if they can't even pronounce your name.'_ So Alice it was."

Zoey bristled. "Your family tried to control your identity? That's abominable!"

"Meh, once I made a bunch of friends I switched back to Aiko, at least at school."

"I'm relieved you were able to reclaim your name, if only in a safe space."

"Oh it wasn't all that bad. Made it easier to control the rumors when all the volleyball jocks from the other schools got blown by 'Alice' instead of 'Aiko'."

"Huh..." Zoey tried to weigh the pros of a sex-positive attitude versus male-centered sex acts. 'Huh' was all she could come up with.

"Yo, boss bitch! Fire's ready!"

"Excellent. Is your paper set, Miss Yumi?" This was another cleansing ceremony of the Yuletide season: writing a list of grievances and burning the paper in a symbolic act of letting go. Zoey looked over her own list: _Rashida and the Womyn's Center_. She didn't need those phony friends anymore.

Miss Yumi glanced at her own list (Zoey caught a snippet: _Jes-, Lol-, Bel-_ ) before turning back to the staircase. "Just a second."

One by one, Lillian, then Suki, then Zoey let the flames consume their lists. A peaceful sigh escaped each of their lips. Then Miss Yumi ran up and slam dunked her hobby knapsack into the fire pit. Flames leapt and the coven yelped.

"What the fuck, Miss Yu?"

"Fire sale, ladies! Everything must go!" Then she snatched the jug of lighter fluid from Lillian and tossed that in too. A column of flame exploded to the heavens. The knapsack burned away in a torrent black smoke, and then its contents - a cookbook, a tennis racket, a yoga mat and scrapbook. The coven held their noses against the stench of burning leaves and bubbling plastic.

"Scrapbooking, baking, sports! Fuck that noise, I'm fine just the way I am!" Miss Yumi dusted her hands. "I'm not _broken_ , I'm not some addict that needs saving! I'm just exercising my American right to enjoy the fuck out of my life and I'm not gonna change myself for no one! Can I get a 'hell yeah', ladies?"

Suki and Lillian stared goggle-eyed at the pyromaniac display. Zoey was the first to step forward, pumping her fist, "hell, yeah! Live your authentic self, Miss Yumi!"

Following her Zoey-senpai's lead, Suki jumped in with " _Yatta_ , Yumi-san! _Ganbatte_!" They cheered, they celebrated; Miss Yumi cracked open another beer and they urged her to "chug, chug, chug!"

From the sidelines, Lillian looked at the kickass fire and mayhem and wondered why the fuck it felt so wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you spot all the fan-character cameos in Lillian's D'nD game? A cookie if you can!


	8. Zoey, It's Cold Outside...

"So, what do you think of Yumi-san?" Suki asked between slurps of food court noodles.

Lillian totally had to pinch herself and check for deja-vu. A week had passed since Miss Yu's freaky rooftop bonfire and here she was: another random-ass meeting at the mall for lunch, another honking-big ramen bowl to keep Suki's big fat ass from collapsing; now, that same simple question, only this time, Suki's cheery smile came with a buggy twitch in her eye. The twerp was looking for permission to vent.

"Honest to god, I can't stand that bitch."

And the floodgates opened wide.

"She keeps going through my manga collections, folding back the covers and dog-earing the pages!"

"She keeps rifling through my purse 'n totally smoking all my cigarettes!"

"She strapped a sponge to my yaoi paddle and used it to wash her back!"

"She used up my mini-fig paints for her 'art sketches'! Freakin' amateur hour, by the way."

"She leaves her dirty clothes on the bathroom floor!"

"She totally lets the trash pile up!"

"She eats my snacks!"

"She drinks my beer!"

Suki paused. "Her cooking's still _oishi_."

"Totes awesome," Lillian agreed. "But that's totally not the point! She keeps making these creepy-ass sex comments around me, shit about 'discipline' and 'mommies'. Like, gag me with a spoon!"

"At least she talks to you. Every time I ask her something, Yumi-san's voice goes super high and she starts saying all this weird alien stuff."

"Suki, she's speaking Japanese."

"But _what?_ Last night she kept bugging me at supper - _Suki-chan, shio o watashite kudasai. Chigau! Shio, shio!_ It's like she's mad at me or something. _Mou!_ What did Suki-chan ever do, desu?"

Lillian looked over Suki's brown-baked skin, her chalky eyeliner and bleached blonde hair, all gift-wrapped in a Hello Kitty jacket. "No freakin' idea."

"Have you talked to Zoey-senpai about her?"

"Omigod Suki, it's exam season! Zoe's up to her eyeballs cramming for tests. Like, if it's not in a textbook, it's invisible. Plus, every time I gripe, it's always ' _Lillian, show some support for your coven sister_ ' or ' _Lillian, she needs a safe space to express herself_ '. Freakin' unbelievable! Like, maybe if I find a magic beer bottle, Zoey'll give me a free pass to be the biggest piece of shit ever."

The negativity towards their senpai made Suki frown. " _Ano..._ maybe if we talk to Zoey together."

Lillian nodded. "Yeah, like, get a roommate intervention going. We'll totally do it tonight. Just as soon as we get back from Madame J's shop."

Payday had finally freakin' arrived. Time to nab Zoey's perfect yuletide gift.

* * *

Back at the loft, a knock on Zoey's door interrupted her study session. "Kiddo? You streaming in there?"

"Studying. What is it?"

A ray of light pierced into the dark room. Miss Yumi entered in her slacker sweats and hoodie. "Hey, you got any cash?"

"Cash?" Zoey spun around. "I topped up the grocery fund Wednesday. Are we-?"

"Naw, groceries are good. Still on budget. It's just... well, the beer."

"Out already?" Zoey swore she'd bought a case during the weekend.

"Yeah, I think Lillian really went through the stash."

Zoey searched her cluttered desk and spotted something green behind the plate of Japanese sweets Suki had prepared for her study session. "Twenty dollars. That enough?"

"Plenty!" Miss Yumi snapped the money into her pocket. Then she frowned. The room's only illumination came from Zoey's desk lamp. "Kinda dark in here."

"Precisely. I've set up a crystal barrier around my workspace. By limiting the light to the desk area, I can keep my mental energy from dissipating. Every neuron in my brain is now laser focused on studying."

"Uh huh. Hey, I know that textbook. Cramming for physics?"

"Miss Stone gave us all a mock exam. If I can finish this, I'll guarantee my 'A' average." _Now, if I can only figure out these equations…_

Her frustration didn't go unobserved. Humming curiously, Miss Yumi stole a peak over Zoey's shoulder. "This'll be a cinch. One second."

Two minutes later, Miss Yumi returned, hands on her hips like a superheroine making her big debut. She'd certainly handled the costume change: hair up in a messy bun, gray sweats exchanged for a white blouse, an orange sweater vest and a tight jeans skirt. "Tada! Miss Yumi, physics tutor extraordinaire!"

Zoey wasn't sure about the appropriateness of black stockings with garters for tutoring. "Thank you but I can handle this on my own."

"Like shit you can." Miss Yumi rolled up her sleeves and rolled up a spare chair to the desk. "C'mon, lemmie have a look."

Zoey rolled her eyes - the first of many times tonight, she assumed - but slid the textbook so it rested in between. Miss Yumi buzzed with excitement. "Okay, so for this problem here-"

* * *

"Suki, keep the friggin' rock in your purse already!"

The bus was hitting potholes like they were going out of style and every bounce hammered a nail through Lillian's heart. Bad enough their wallets were two hundred dollars lighter but did the twerp have to hold the dumb Heart in her lap like a tablet? "Like, the last thing we need's for you to have an 'oops' and then we come home with a bajillion little obsidian fragments!"

"But it's so _kirei_ _!_ Whaa, I keep thinking of senpai's face once she unwraps it!"

"About that. We should like, keep the wrapping low key - newspaper or something. Then we add our names: 'From Lillian 'n Suki', right?"

"Hai!"

 _Gotcha,_ Lillian thought. No way in hell Suki would give up top billing on their super-special awesome present. That could only mean one thing:

"So, what else're you getting Zoe for Yule?"

To her credit, Suki's eyes only popped for a moment – the superhero, stunned as her mask was ripped away. Maybe she'd always been expecting to be caught, cause the kid gave one of her cheesy "eh-heh-heh" laughs as she fished through her purse.

A rectangular piece of cardstock exchanged hands. "Ano, it's just the rough draft," Suki forewarned.

 **~Solstice Surprise~ **   
**This coupon entitles the bearer to unlimited free hugs and cuddles!**

**Trade in anytime, anywhere!**

**To: _Zoey-senpai_ From: _Suki-chan_**

Lillian didn't know whether to laugh or vomit. It was so cheesy, so disgustingly lovey-dovey! _So Suki!_

"You know that Zoey thinks you're just friends, right?"

"Mm, we talked about it. Still, this is my way of letting senpai know that… when she's ready for something more, her kawaii manga-writing kouhai will be there, waiting for her!"

Suki's dreamy sigh broke for a bemused look. "Does that bother you, Kuroko-chan?"

 _Huh? Me 'n Zoey?_ Lillian pinched away another case of deja-vu. "Like, whatever. I'm totally chill the way things are."

Lillian's violet fingernails stroked her smart phone. She gave a happy shudder thinking of Agent Z's latest photoset - post-shower selfies where Zoey used a towel to carefully cover the bare minimum of her body. A towel Lillian had rubbed all over herself the night before the shoot.

Suki checked a final time. "So you're okay if I…"

"Totally chill." _Let Suki chase her dumbass fantasies. I got me all the Zoey I need._

* * *

"-and that's the final question!" Zoey dropped her pencil, leaning back in her chair with a satisfied "phew."

Finished! Miss Stone had teased that the assignment would take an entire week to crack but Zoey had it wrapped up and double-checked in a single night! All thanks to a certain ex-teacher with a grand, goofy grin on her face. Zoey shook her head in disbelief. "So you actually do know your physics."

"Hey, I didn't spend six years on that master's degree for nothing."

Evidently not. Tonight, Miss Yumi had been animated, energetic. For every challenging concept, she'd shared an easy-to-understand analogy. She'd rooted for Zoey, offered constructive criticism at every difficult step. "You were so different from on campus, a whole different person!"

Miss Yumi smiled as though she'd expected that comment. "Honestly, I can't stand teaching in a classroom. So impersonal. It's like I'm herding you kids through a sausage grinder."

"I know, right? Post-secondary education is so rigid, so structured. There's barely any supports for marginalized learners or students with disabilities!"

"Teaching small groups, tutoring one-on-one like this… I feel like I'm in my zone. Like I can make a real connection."

Zoey nodded vigorously. _Personal! It has to be personal!_ "You know, Miss Yumi, I used to think you were absolutely problematic. Now I see you're more... nuanced. You've struggled through so much and there's so much to admire about you!"

"Aw, thanks, Zoe. I used to think you were a pretentious snowflake but you're actually kinda cool."

"Um... thank you."

The compliments hung awkwardly in the air.

"Anyway, I'm glad to have you as part of our coven."

"Happy to be here! Meeting you, it's like I know what's important again."

"Good to hear." Zoey returned to her textbook. Aiko watched her work, smiling.

"Hey, those contacts. They prescription?"

"I'm actually pretty near-sighted, why?"

"Dunno." A pause. "You'd look really good in glasses."

"Really?"

"Yeah, here." Miss Yumi removed her eyeglasses, offered them over. "Try 'em on."

Zoey did so. "Whoa!" Her eyes widened at the sudden blur. She had to push the lenses down to her nose to actually see and it stunned her when the world refocused. _Miss Yumi… she looks younger without glasses._

"How do I look?"

Miss Yumi tapped her chin in appraisal. "Dunno. Hard to say at this distance."

Then she leaned close, so close she had to rest a palm on Zoey's armrest for balance, all the while flexing that care-free grin. "Oh yeah, you'd kill it as a glasses girl."

The way she grinned, it was like she didn't realize their noses nearly touched. Zoey's mouth went dry. "M-Miss Yumi?"

"Yeahhh?" The scent of mint toothpaste overpowered Zoey's nostrils. She swallowed.

"Your glasses, they're convex lenses. Aren't you farsighted?"

Miss Yumi kept her place. Kept her smile. "Huh, I guess I am."

Then she cupped Zoey's cheek and pressed their mouths together.

Zoey's heart stopped.

The world stopped.

The sudden ringing from her ears swelled over every ambient sight and sound from the bedroom. There was only Miss Yumi.

Kissing her.

Pressing into her; nudging Zoey's mouth open until her tongue could slip inside: swirling, tasting; delighting. "Mmmh..."

Pink lips parted with a smack. Time resumed. Zoey's heart resumed and its terrified hammering racked her chest.

Miss Yumi opened her eyes. "Damn… I was craving some dark chocolate."

And before Zoey could catch her breath, she leaned in and kissed her again. "M-miss Yumi-"

"Aiko," she corrected, a hot whisper in between wet snaps of their lips. "Call me Aiko. Actually, don't talk at all."

The next kiss – hot, heavy, hungry – threatened to overwhelm Zoey altogether. A timid whimper escaped her throat and Aiko seemed to find it endearing.

"Hey, ever done it with an Asian chick before?"

 _Ever done it?_ Paralyzed on the spot, Zoey could only shake her head 'no'.

Aiko grinned. "Let's make this fun, okay?"

Then she reached for the desk lamp and clicked the light off.

* * *

"I spy with my little eye, something that is ... pink!"

Lillian slumped her head against the bus window. "It's the rock, right?"

"Aww, how'd you guess again?"

"I dunno, you just picked it the last five turns!"

The goth girl sighed and checked the time on her phone. What shitty luck, getting stuck in a traffic jam.

_Well, at least the boss has it just as boring with her studying..._

* * *

Heavy lips smacking in the darkness, the muffled moaning of mouths against skin. Shaky feet shuffling across the floor; back banging into the wall.

Deprived of light, Zoey could only hear and feel: Aiko's hands tearing through her hair, Aiko's lips kissing down her neck; Aiko's arms winding around her shoulders to explore the clasps of her corset, pulling her closer, closer -

Zoey broke away, panting. "Wh-what're you-?"

She immediately regretted clicking on the room lights. Against her jerky gasps, Aiko was barely winded, barely phased; smiling as she licked her hungry lips. Zoey hadn't realized how much younger Aiko looked without her glasses, with her hair shaken free of its messy bun. She hadn't realized how much long, raven black hair could tie her stomach into knots.

"Where are we going with this?"

Aiko didn't answer, she only wolf-whistled in reply. "Damn, kiddo, your stomach is tight!"

Zoey glanced down, startling at the sight of her bare belly. Only her small, yellow crop top, less than a sports bra, remained to cover her chest. _My corset!_

"Looking for something?" Miss Yumi rubbed the yellow wrap up and down her chest, a reminder of where the hot leather had been pressed just seconds ago. She raised the garment to her face to inhale, then added her trophy to the collection of ripped-off clothes on the floor.

Zoey spied her goggles, her choker, an arm sleeve and Miss Yumi's sweater vest. Those Asian hands had been busy in the dark and they were only getting started.

Zoey blanched as Aiko's fingers slipped under her jeans skirt and shimmied down her underwear, purple and lacy. "Phew, I am _soaked_. How 'bout you, kiddo? Need me to get those off?"

Zoey backed away. "This is - how's this happening? We're roommates, we're coven sisters! What's -"

"What's not to get, kiddo? We're in your room, we're getting our clothes off; let's keep this going."

Zoey went numb. Her mind was a panicky jumble, racing to evacuate, to find a safe space. She didn't notice Miss Yumi's approach until the Japanese woman took her fingers, nipped the rim of her arm sleeve and used her teeth to tease off the remaining covering.

Zoey broke free but it cost her another piece of clothing. Miss Yumi rolled her eyes and spat the sleeve to the floor.

"Zoey, you know what your problem is? You spend way too much time thinking. Just… let go. Enjoy the rush. You're enjoying this, right?"

Zoey swallowed.

Shaking her head, Miss Yumi approached once more. Her grip was forceful this time. One hand snatched Zoey's wrist while the other seized the lapel of her blouse, yanking the snap buttons open and exposing a lacy, violet push-up bra. Zoey's palm met skin in a glorious shudder.

"Yeah, just like that, kiddo. Mmh… feel me up."

 _Warm_ , Zoey trembled as her hand moved under Aiko's guidance, digging into the softness of her breast. Her legs were knocking, goosebumps were creeping up her belly but Aiko was _warm._ Miss Yumi smiled and hushed her.

"See? It's not a bad thing to feel this good. C'mon, I haven't fucked in ages. How long's it been since you brought someone over to spend the night?"

"I - I haven't -"

"Seriously? All these months and you've never brought a guy to the loft? C'mon, Zoey, we both need this. I know you're aching for something better than shlicking yourself for the webcam. Help me out. Let me do you right."

Zoey felt ready to faint from heatstroke but Miss Yumi's offer wasn't finished: strutting backwards, she sat herself on the edge of Zoey's cot and spread her legs _wide_. Zoey sucked in a breath as Aiko's jeans skirt hiked past her waist, bunching up like a denim belt. Two fingers began stroking roughly. Miss Yumi's first moan almost broke Zoey.

"Ohhh! Mm, c'mon, Zoey. You got me this wet. Let's finish the job."

"I…" _I did this?_ Aiko wanted her? This older, experienced woman was calling for her, craving her; touching herself _because of her_? Aiko Yumi, who'd known first-hand the ways of higher magic. Aiko who knew intimately the magic you could strum out of the human body with the perfect touch.

"I… need to go." Her ears ringing, her head jumbling. Random flashes of orange and pink. Purple and black. She had to get away. "I can't do this."

Aiko's lusty chuckle followed her to the door. "Are you sure?"

And as Zoey's hand caught the doorknob, she froze.

And hesitated.

* * *

"Lousy, no-good transit bus..."

It was dark and late when Lillian finally slammed the apartment door and stomped into Miss Yumi's familiar clutter. Dishes on the dining table, sweaters on the couch. _Freakin' whatever!_

Her phone had died hours ago and her temper was at its limit. All she wanted was to shut herself up in her room with a cold beer and her headphones blasting _Sabaton_ but Miss Yumi had to go and screw that up too!

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Lillian jabbed her finger into the kitchen. Suki, skipping happily in La-La Land, bumped into Lillian's back and looked too. The otaku girl gasped.

Miss Yumi, kicking back against the counter in shorts and a baggy tee, swigging from a very familiar bottle while she savored spoonfuls of a very familiar convenience store cup.

"My beer!"

"Suki's pudding pop!"

"Like, that was totally my last one!"

" _Mou!_ I was saving that!"

Miss Yumi batted an eye at the oncoming storm. "Oh, hey ladies. Dinner's in the fridge." Then she went back to her treats, so extremely pleased with herself.

But the promise of dinner wouldn't save her tonight. Lillian, already on the warpath, found herself shoved aside. It was Suki who stomped into the ex-teacher's face to lay down the law.

"Miss Yumi, you can't just take our stuff without asking! You borrow our special stuff, you eat our food... wait, that shirt..."

Lillian recognized it too: _#AbolishICE._ Only one member of the household stenciled social justice hashtags onto her tops.

The shirt, Miss Yu's messy hair, her shit-eating grin. Lillian's stomach dropped. _No... no freakin way..._

Poor Suki-chan rattled on obliviously.

"That's Zoey-senpai's shirt! Now you're even taking our clothes without asking! Well I've had enough, desu! Zoey? Zoey-senpai?"

Lillian tugged at the otaku girl's shoulder. A very bad feeling was creeping up her spine. Um, Suki? Like, maybe we should take a walk..."

"No!" Suki wrenched away. "We all need to talk now! Zoey? Senpai?"

"Mmph?" Lillian cringed as the bedroom door creaked open and a sleepy-eyed Zoey shuffled out, dreadfalls tangled and legs bare. She'd tossed on a white, snap-button blouse clearly not from her wardrobe.

"S-senpai?"

Zoey didn't hear them, didn't seem to notice them. Eyes half-lidded, her achy legs shuffled forward in a daze, seemingly magnetized to her stolen t-shirt. "Mmh, there you are," she murmured to the thief.

Then Zoey draped herself over Miss Yumi's chest.

A small, startled squeak escaped Suki's throat, the cry of a small animal caught in a snare. Zoey squeezed her arms around the Asian woman, humming the same dreamy smile Lillian had suffered all night from moony little Suki-chan. She pushed up on tiptoes to plant a kiss on the older woman's lips.

Suki's purse and the two hundred dollar rock inside hit the ground with a _whump!_

The noise made Zoey's eyes fluttered open, softly, then wide, aware for the first time of her audience.

"Oh... hey, girls."


	9. The Long and Silent Night

"So Miss Yumi and I - I mean, Aiko and I, we've decided to… be intimate with one another."

The household had gathered around the dining table for a meeting. Zoey stood at the head, still wearing nothing but Aiko's borrowed white blouse. Under the table, her leg bounced impatiently, giddy to share this amazing new development in her sexual identity. Lillian slouched on one side, drumming her fingers and grinding her teeth on a stick of gum. Behind her, Suki was present in body only. The blonde sat ramrod straight, eyes wide and glazed over as she played with the folds of her skirt. Miss Yumi kicked back opposite them, content to let Zoey take the lead explaining.

"Lil, Suki, I want you both to know that this changes nothing between us. We'll continue to support each other as coven sisters, to resist the patriarchy and celebrate our feminine friendships. It's just that... well, I'll be celebrating a little closer with Aiko."

"A helluva lot closer!" Aiko grinned.

Zoey scanned for reactions. Lillian's fingers drummed on, teeth snapping at her gum. Suki stared ahead, eyes focusing on some distant point on the wall _._ Wincing, Zoey moved forward on the agenda.

"Also, a quick update to our house rules: I'm revising the policy about 'no masturbating in the common area' to include all individual and group sex acts. If you're needing 'private time', please continue to hang a sock on your doorknob and lock the door. Aiko and I will try to be respectful while you're both present but if we... well-"

"Start knockin' boots?" Aiko offered. Zoey winced.

"If we... _succumb to our urges_ , then we'll put on some music to ensure privacy."

And she demonstrated, queuing up a playlist on her phone. Jimmy Hendrix's _Purple Haze_ blasted over the speaker. She clicked it off and looked again for reactions. The tapping in her legs was beginning to grow nervous.

"Well? Suki? Have you heard a word I've said? Suki?"

The otaku girl startled back to life, blinking rapidly. " _H-hai! G-gomen, senpai_. I'm... I'm so *hic* excited for you, senpai. *hic* Excited that you've *hic* found your *hic* your special someone."

Aiko gave her an odd stare. "Need some water?"

But the girl waved off their concerns, even as her hiccup spell came faster, as her eyes watered red with discomfort and she was forced to hold her heaving chest steady.

"Suki, are you-?"

"Me? *hic* _Steki!_ I'm *hic* fine." These are *hic*hic* tears of joy, senpai. *hic* This is like *hic*hic* something from a shoujo manga. I'm so *hic* lucky I *hic* get to see it!"

The next hiccup came so violently, Suki had to raise her hands to catch the sputtering cough. Her palms and nose came away snotty and dribbly. "I... I'm gonna go get ready for bed..."

Zoey flinched at the sound of Suki's slamming door. She turned to her remaining friend, once more consumed by her cell phone. "Lillian?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Congrats or whatever. It's just... like, wow."

Zoey beamed. "I know, wow!"

"Like, wow, all that bullshit about being 'demisexual' or 'aromantic' and you spread your legs for the first bitch who pushes you down on a bed. Like, way to blow, haystack."

"Haystack?"

"Umm, The Three Little Pigs? Big bad wolf comes and blows you over?"

"I think you mean 'straw house'."

"Oh, so now you're correcting me too?"

"Lillian, if you're upset about something-"

"Me, upset? Pssht! I totally couldn't give a shit who you bend your bony ass for. Like, do whatever the heck you want, haystack. Hmm, I guess that's _whoever_ you want."

"Lillian!"

"Now if you'll like, excuse me or whatever, I got a sock to hang on my doorknob. Later, haystack. Later, Miss Yu."

Aiko waved her fingers. "Don't forget to curl up for the g-spot, Lilly Pie."

The slam from Lillian's door hit Zoey like a slap to the face.

* * *

"Well, that went down like a lead balloon."

Zoey sat on the couch with Aiko at her side, both of them still half-dressed, unkempt and sticky with dried sweat. The term 'hot mess' kept floating through Zoey's mind.

"I guess it was sudden for them."

"Mm, just a guess but I'd say they're pissed at me. Before you came out, I think they were trying to dump me for being a bad housemate."

"What? They tried to kick you out? After all you've been through as a vulnerable minority experiencing homelessness?"

Zoey groaned and held her head. _Where do I even start?_ How could they be so insensitive, so toxic? How could their behavior be so problematic?

Aiko shrugged. "Sure felt like they had it in for me." Then she startled as Zoey clasped her hands solemnly.

"Aiko, as long as we're together, there'll always be a place for you here." The moment broke as Zoey's foot connected with a discarded gray hoodie. "Just... maybe pick up a bit more?"

"Kiddo, I've got a system."

"Y-yes, of course."

"How 'bout you? You okay being in their bad books?"

Zoey looked away. "I'm an independent, sex-positive woman. I don't need their validation."

 _Though it would have been nice._ Lillian's glares and snark, Suki's shell-shocked silence. It unsettled her so. She was making the correct choice, right?

Lost in worry, Zoey didn't realize that her head had sunk against Aiko's shoulder until the ex-teacher wrapped a hand around her chest, stroking her breast. Zoey startled away immediately.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to -" _Shit!_ She'd never discussed things, never actually gotten clear and unambiguous consent to sit this close, to impose so much intimacy on her!

Aiko snorted back a chuckle. "Kiddo, no big deal if you wanna saddle up next to me. I'm down for anything you want." But when that failed to settle Zoey's nerves, the professor rolled her eyes and steadied the young girl's hands.

"Look, let's do it your way: I, Aiko Yumi of the Dark Coven, daughter of Hepate, being of sound mind and body, give Zoey Greene total permission to rock my body, any day, any time. Lips, nips, fingertips and whatever the hell else you wanna grind up against me. We good?"

"It's pronounced _Hecate_. But thank you."

Zoey sunk back again, taking much-needed comfort from Aiko's warm body. Head and palm rested atop her heart, grounding her energies against the steady rise and fall of Aiko's chest.

The moment was interrupted by a weary sigh - Aiko seizing her wrist and steering Zoey's hand underneath her shirt to squeeze her bare breast. "There we go. Now we're getting somewhere." And then Zoey found her lips seized in another hot and heavy kiss.

 _So good..._ She quickly found herself returning the kiss, groping and inhaling Aiko's raw scent like a sorority girl chugging beer. _I need this_. After the rude departure of her coven sisters, she needed to feel good, to feel close to someone. Zoey fell onto Aiko's lips, groaning into their kisses

"Whoa, someone's got lots of energy!"

"How can I help it, this is all so -" _so new_ but she caught herself before she could finish that confession. "- so good for me."

"Mmh, _good_ is never what I call this. C'mere, you."

Zoey wanted to continue the needy make-out, the desperate embrace but she quickly found herself overpowered and overwhelmed, toppled onto her back with Aiko's heat and weight bearing down on her. Zoey didn't resist as her legs were pushed apart.

While Aiko's mouth worked down her throat, Zoey tipped her head to the side. Her eyes popped: orange and pink, purple and black. The god's eye decorations hanging above the TV glared back at her, judging.

Zoey broke away. "We really shouldn't. If Lil or Suki come out -"

"Oh fuck, wouldn't that be hot? Having them see us?"

Zoey looked deep into Aiko's eyes, searching for the punchline to that joke. _She's not serious... is she?_ "I... I did lay out the house rules."

Aiko huffed. "Fine," and the dark dismissal in her eyes startled Zoey. "Scooch off. I'm gonna hit the bathroom."

"Oh... sure." New as she was to this sort of intimacy, Zoey had no illusions as to what Aiko was relieving herself of.

As she sat and waited on the couch, a door creaked open. Suki, in a Madoka Magica nightshirt, padded towards the fridge with an empty glass. Zoey brightened. "Hey, Suki!"

Like a startled rabbit, the ganguro girl spun on her heel and fled. The slam of another bedroom door left Zoey's head sinking. Hands pulled at Aiko's blouse, trying to stretch the fabric further down her lap, to shake off the shameful feeling of being naked and exposed.

 _Why can't they see?_ She and Aiko - both marginalized and racialized women of colour. Both had experienced homelessness and rejection - Zoey from her companions in the Womyn's Center, Aiko from her job and her home. And here, at the end of her rope, when Miss Yumi had been fully dependent on the kindness of a few strangers, she'd opened up to Zoey about her desires; had made herself vulnerable before Zoey. _Help me out. Let me do you right._

_Supporting Aiko's needs, helping her to live authentically - that's the feminist thing to do, right? Isn't this how we nurture our coven?_

Zoey waited for an affirming "hai!" or a "you got this, boss bitch". There was only the distant flush of the toilet.

Aiko flopped back on the couch, her laidback grin refreshed. "Ahh, that's better. Hey, pass me the newspaper? Never finished today's Sudoku."

"Oh, sure."

They sat, Zoey on the far end and Aiko propped on her shoulder, legs stretched across the remaining sofa space. Aiko scribbled in her newspaper and Zoey ducked her face into her phone, stealing glances, wondering if she ought to wrap an arm around her lover or if that would just distract her. Against her fraying nerves, Aiko was the poster girl for 'chill and laid back'.

Zoey tried to emulate her pose - arm hooked over the couch, legs spread wide and lazy but it just made her feel like the worst sort of pretender.

 _I just need good night's rest. It'll all feel right tomorrow. So_ Zoey excused herself with a cough. "I should probably get to bed."

"Mmh, me too."

They stood and it startled Zoey when Aiko mirrored her turn towards the bedroom. "What? I figure I earned a cuddle in your bed after that session. Or were you going to send me back to the closet?"

"N-no, of course not."

Grinning, Aiko took her by the hand, leading the side-by-side stroll to the bedroom. She wasn't much taller, Zoey told herself, but the gap between them - _so mature, so confident, so natural_ \- made Zoey feel like a child holding mother's hand.

She did her best to play it cool, but with only a sidelong smirk, Aiko seemed to call her out as a fraud. "Relax, kiddo. Not like you haven't taken me to bed before."

* * *

In the bedroom, Zoey busied herself mounting a sock and locking the door while Aiko strolled in and made herself at home.

"Phew, still hot. Should probably crack open a window," she joked, shucking off her borrowed t-shirt and kicking off her shorts.

Zoey's heart jumped. Aiko left her lacy thong in place and it only accentuated the cheeky wiggle of her ass as she strutted to the cot. Flopping onto the mattress, Aiko splayed on her side, head propped up in her most alluring Playboy pose.

Zoey grimaced, thinking of her self-conscious website selfies where she contorted her body for hours in search of the perfect pose. _It comes so naturally to her._ Aiko was fully at ease.

Folding up her glasses, Aiko shook her hair loose and flashed her trademark smile. "Gonna keep me waiting, kiddo?"

Zoey's heart thumped as Aiko patted the empty half of the mattress. "J-just a minute."

Desperate not to seem naïve, Zoey fumbled with her blouse buttons and killed the lights. Her bare chest shivered in the dark. Aiko would still see her silhouette in the moonlight so Zoey did her best to emulate the older woman's hip-waggling strut; to her credit, she only stumbled twice on the floor-strewn clothes.

Aiko's wolf-whistle made her wince. "Neon orange. That's a new colour for me."

Dammit, of all the fresh sets of panties, why had she picked one of her childish, glow in the dark pairs? Zoey lay down on the creaky cot, steeling herself. The heat and presence of Aiko's body made her bed feel so foreign.

Aiko surprised her again, tousling her hair and offering a quick peck before turning towards the wall. "Well, good night."

"G-good night?"

"Fuck, I'm exhausted, kiddo."

"Huh? Oh, okay." Zoey chided herself for not considering her lover's needs, for not checking her privilege and assuming intimacy was on the table. "Um, sweet dreams."

But Aiko was already sawing logs. Feeling like a stranger in her own bed, Zoey curled her arms into her chest and followed the rise and fall of Miss Yumi's bare back. Every creak of the bedsprings felt like another door shut in her face.

* * *

Zoey had never thought about this part - lying in bed, sleeping with another person. Literally, just sleeping. Aiko's back loomed in her vision like an impenetrable wall, a fortress cutting her off from intimacy. Zoey couldn't settle her thoughts, couldn't fall asleep. She could only listen to her lover's breathing and wonder why she chose to turn away.

The oppressive silence dragged on an hour, two hours. Finally, Zoey shook Miss Yumi's shoulders. "Aiko? You awake?"

"Mmf... I am now," came the irritated grumble. "What's up?"

Zoey tried to summarize her jumbled thoughts - Lillian and Suki's rejection, Aiko's scowl on the couch when Zoey had called off their make-out; joining her in bed only to turn away from her. "Hey, tonight... it was good for you, right?"

Aiko's entire body heaved in a sigh. "You want the honest answer or you want a feel-good one?"

"Honest, of course!"

Aiko shifted onto her back, starring at the ceiling. It wasn't exactly eye contact but it was a start. "Don't get me wrong, it was exciting. Haven't had a good lay in months so the foreplay was hot as hell. But you're honestly pretty tame compared to what I'm used to."

Zoey had never realized her voice could choke up so meekly. "Tame?"

"Yeah, kinda expected more, seeing as you're a cam-slut and all."

 _Tame?_ Zoey retraced how she'd screamed and writhed as Aiko's tongue wrecked her body. She'd given everything she had back to her lover and it was... tame?

A dark vision left Zoey shivering - Aiko cutting ties, Aiko retreating to her closet, Aiko leaving her alone. She found herself grasping at the older woman's shoulders, desperate to hold her, to keep her close. "W-what do you need?"

"Kiddo, you really don't wanna know."

"Tell me!" Like the worst kind of cis-het male, Zoey had been thinking only of her own desires, ignoring her partner's pleasure. "I mean, my website - my viewership's been going down. I could … use some new ideas?"

The irritation from Aiko's frown hit her like a heat lamp. _I'm losing her._ "I want you to be honest with me."

Aiko studied her carefully, the university professor sizing up a pupil. "I can get... pretty intense. Are you sure?"

That trick question again! "Whatever you need," Zoey affirmed. "I'm here for you."

And to prove her point she scooted chest to chest with Aiko and started kissing her neck, glancing into Aiko's gray eyes after every peck for assurance. _Here? Is this where you like it? Maybe here?_

The wandering kisses only made the ex-teacher frown. "Turn around," she ordered. Zoey complied, gasping as Aiko assumed the big spoon position, heavy arms dragging Zoey tight against her body.

"So, black panther, wanna take a romp in my jungle, huh?"

A tiny "uh huh," was all Zoey could manage through her trembling jaw. _Cold._ Aiko's hands fell cold and clammy against her skin, alien tendrils winding around her, black and limitless. Zoey's aquaphobia briefly flared up - a drowning terror, like she was being swallowed by something dark and dangerous, a rabbit under a lion's paw.

Aiko, now a dark silhouette in the corner of her eyes, leaned over her ear. "Well, here's something that _really_ turns me on."

Zoey's eyes widened as the dark whispers tumbled into her. "People... do that? I mean, I've seen that in exploitive, male-gaze centered pornography but..."

"It's the best! You've seriously never tried that? You, a cam-whore?" Being with Aiko never ceased to make her feel small and naïve.

"I mean -" but her words cut off with a squeak. She'd been vaguely aware of Aiko's palm caressing its way down her body, slipping under the elastic of her panties. Now, two fingers slid between her ass cheeks, rubbing, testing. Zoey whimpered.

"Looks like there's a helluva lot I could teach you," Aiko teased. "If you're willing to be a good girl."

"O-okay."

Dissatisfied, Aiko flipped them. Zoey found herself on her belly, dominated by Aiko's heat. "No. Say it like a good girl."

"Y-yes, mistress!" Aiko rewarded her with a nip on the ear.

"See, you're a natural! Okay, first lesson..."

* * *

Across the hallway, Suki lay curled in bed, eyes wide open, shivering at the rickety, back and forth creaking of bedsprings.


	10. Waking to the New Normal

Lillian and Saturday mornings weren't exactly on the best of terms. There were never any good cartoons on anymore and Friday night let her have way more fun. After years of squabbling over lost sleep and wasted time, Lillian and the early weekend had arrived at a mutual understanding: they would both ignore each other and stay far apart.

Saturday afternoon though, creeping up on her bed and poking its sunlight in her face, was still a total rat-bastard.

Lillian groaned to her senses. She found one hand down her panties while the other clutched her cell phone like a bottle of Jack. Sitting up, static charge from the bedsheets sent her pigtails springing in a hundred different directions. A glance in the mirror confirmed the worst. She looked like a snake-haired gorgon and felt like shit.

Between the ache in her jaw, the dampness between her legs and the empty bottle beneath her sheets, she pieced together a rough timeline: after slamming her door on Zoey, she'd nabbed the emergency Mickey hidden in her jewelry box and chugged the whole damn thing. Then, she'd browsed Agent Z's entire photo archive (from 'A -android' to 'Z - zipper panties'), gritting her teeth as she finger-blasted herself raw.

 _Oof._ Just sitting up made her legs ache. Like, if it was possible to have hate sex with yourself, she was totally set to dish on one of her grandma's daytime talk shows: _"Jerry, I Can't Hit My Dumbass Friend so I Totally Hit My Spot."_

"Christ, Zoey and Miss Yu. That's so fucked up."

Her dehydrated brain debated crashing for another five hours but her stomach held veto power. So Lillian combed her hair until it was only halfway crappy, wiped herself clean and squeezed into jeans and her Buchimaru-kun t-shirt (the panda mascot was totally vintage, m'kay?) Breathing deeply, she braced herself to face the day.

_Holy crap, what smells so good?_

The loft's main hall was eerily calm and quiet: Suki, in her pink KumaBear apron, flipping pancakes on the griddle. Zoey, finally fucking wearing pants, munching on a piece of organic bacon while she browsed her Twitter feed.

" _Ohayo gozaimasu_ , Kuroko-chan!" Suki's smile dazzled with all the sunshine and pep of a 1950s housewife. "I'm making pancakes for _mina-san_! _Itadekimasu!_ "

The pile of flapjacks towered above Suki's head. "Wow... like, the flour going bad?"

" _Iyai!_ Suki-chan's baking because her heart is filled with _doki-doki_ happiness!"

 _Happy, huh?_ Zoey glanced up at her but said nothing. Still, silence was hopeful. Maybe last night had been a total fever dream - brain stress from spending all that cash and getting stuck on that crappy bus, right?

Of course it fucking wasn't. "Aiko's still asleep, so try to be quiet."

"Fucking kill me…"

Lillian slumped across from Zoey, drowned her plate with syrup and started dunking chunks of pancake into her meal. "Get any sleep last night, haystack?"

"Lillian, when you ignore my preferred names and pronouns, it really makes me feel invalidated. Aiko and I are -" she hesitated, "Aiko and I are together and if you have a problem, I'm sorry but that's -"

"I don't care."

"Huh?"

"I. Don't. Care. If you're fucking Miss Yu, well... good for you."

"Oh." Zoey deflated. _Probably had three more speeches rehearsed_. "So… we're good?"

"I mean, it's nasty as hell to picture but whatever."

Zoey scooched a little closer. "I'm discovering so much about my sexual identity. Can I confide in you? You know, girl talk?"

"No."

"Not even -"

"No."

"Just a -"

"Zoe, I wanna pig out on syrup and drink my coffee. Whatever the hell it is you two do, I don't freakin' wanna know."

"Fine," Zoey huffed. "I just thought coven sisters were supposed to support each other."

Lillian let that barb stick without comment.

Off in the kitchen, Suki hummed to herself as she continued adding to Mt. Flapjack. Lillian sipped her coffee. Zoey's leg tapped, impatient to share.

"I'm a bottom."

Lillian's coffee spewed across the table.

* * *

" _A bottom?_ "

Lillian's boots crunched across the apartment complex rooftop. She wasn't sure whether to take a drag from her cigarette or a hit from her asthma inhaler. Ever-smiling Suki-chan watched her pigtails stomp left and right, smiling serenely like an enlightened Buddha.

"A bottom? No fucking way! Zoey's a take-charge, badass bitch! Like, back me up here, Suki! You always say she's a seme, right?"

"Senpai is senpai, Kuroko-chan. Isn't it _subarashi_ that she's found her _koibito?_ "

Lillian spun on the chubby girl. "Are you fuckin' high or something? Cause I swear to god you were losing your shit last night!"

Her smile faltering, Suki turned away. _Wait, wha-?_

"Iyaa~! Lemmie go, Kuroko-chan! _Tasukete!_ " Seized by the chin, Suki flailed helplessly as Lillian licked a thumb and wiped away the ganguro girl's cakey white eyeliner. Black, wrinkly bags surfaced under bloodshot eyes.

"Fuckin' called it! You totally didn't get any sleep last night! Like, is your brain even working anymore? What happened to you?"

"I saw za lighto, Kuroko-chan. Everything makes sense now." Suki pulled away, grinning through her baggy eyes and spreading her arms like a gospel preacher.

"Remember last night how I said this was all like a shoujo manga? Well this morning, it hit me: I always thought I was senpai's co-star, her love interest, but I'm not. Lillian, _watashi wa_ supporting character _desu_! I've always been a supporting character!"

"Suki..."

"It's true! _Hontoni!_ I helped Zoey find our apartment, I help her study by making snacks and cheering her on; I help bring her BL stories to life by being her manga-ka! And now, it's my job to help Zoey-senpai find true love by being as cheerful and _genki_ as I can! Go, fighto, win!"

"Like, what the eff is wrong with you?"

A mad giggle escaped Suki's tripped-out lips. "This morning, I met Yumi-san when she woke up to use the toilet."

Lillian grimaced, imagining Suki-chan camped out gremlin-style in front of the washroom. "And?"

"I asked her to touch the Obsidian Heart."

"...Oh shit."

"Ano, remember how it zapped us when we thought of senpai? Well, the same thing happened to Yumi-san: she jumped back, shaking her hand like she'd touched a live wire."

Suki tilted her head back, the better to contain her tears. "Yumi-san, she really cares for Zoey."

* * *

Back in the apartment, Zoey's back lay defenseless as fuzzy socks scraped across the linoleum. "Bzzzap!"

"AAH! Aiko, what-?"

The ex-teacher clapped her hands, laughing. "Psych! Sorry, kiddo, couldn't resist. Must be the dry air, cause I've been zapping everything today!"

* * *

Lillian needed a serious puff from her inhaler. "So… that's it? Just, game over, Suki? Like, newsflash: we just flushed two hundred bucks down the drain so you could tell Zoey you've got the hots for her! You're gonna let Miss Yu steal her?"

"I have to. They're _koibito_." Then a dark worry struck Suki. "Ano, are _you_ gonna make trouble for them, Kuroko-chan?"

"I told you, I'm over the boss." So long as she had her jack-off photos, she was good. Suki nodded.

" _Yosh_. It wouldn't be very kawaii if you caused problems and Suki-chan had to -"

But she paused, perhaps realizing she'd been monologuing aloud.

 _"Nandemonai_. All that's important is that senpai is happy. Everything will turn out right."

And Lillian watched the chubby weeb skip to the rooftop stairway, honestly wondering. Maybe Suki was right, maybe everything would turn out all right.

* * *

Suki was totally effin' wrong.

That comment about being a 'bottom'? Just the tip of the freakin' iceberg when it came to Zoey's new puppy-like simping around Miss Yu. _What do you think, Miss Yumi? What should we watch on TV, Miss Yumi? Is this okay, Miss Yumi?_ In high school, Lillian had watched plenty of bitches lose their minds over some cute boy. Zoey seemed to have handed over her brain whoesale!

And that wasn't even touching on the... well, the touching. Miss Yu was constantly getting up in Zoey's space. They'd sit side by side for meals, where Miss Yu's free hand was always freakin' slipping beneath the table to paw at Zoey's thigh. Watching TV on the couch, she'd squash Zoey against an armrest and stretch an arm around the black girl's shoulder like some cheesy dork at the movies. Except Miss Yu's hands kept moving - working down Zoey's spine and back up underneth her top.

Worst of all, the Asian bitch couldn't read the room if her life depended on it - Zoey would squeak and stutter, clearly weirded out by getting felt up in front of her besties. Suki would stare at the wall and hum to herself, but for Lillian, no amount of nosediving into her cell phone could reduce the friggin' awkwardness.

And somehow, even though she kept getting humiliated to the max, Zoey still had the hots for Miss Yu and would try to to feel her back: reaching over to hold hands or leaning her head on the taller chick's shoulder.

Every time, Miss Yu clicked her tongue and gave a quick "no." Zoey would scoot back - instant twatblock!

"It's like Miss Yu's training her like a friggin' puppy," Lillian confided to Suki. "Do this, no - not like that. She keeps calling her 'good girl' and creepy shit like that."

"A puppy," Suki-chan sighed from La-La Land. "Lillian, if they got a puppy, it'd be like their little fur-baby! _Wan-wan!"_

But the lovebirds saved the weirdest shit for Saturday night dinner. Miss Yu cooked up a sweet chili stirfry - good shit. Lillian savored every gulp while browsing Reddit on her phone, when a hot local post made her gag.

"Omigod, shut the front door! Like, some dumbass thot gets drunk and smashes her car into a pizza parlor, and now Mayor Hackley wants to jack up Glenberry's legal age to 22! What the actual fuck?"

 _"Daijobou?_ Is shoujo-san okay?"

"Suki, priorities! I just spent a hundred clams on my fake ID! I'm not paying up just to get that shit reprinted with a '22'! Zoe, this is like, anti-teen or racist against young people or something! We gotta reblog this shit, get a protest going!"

Miss Yu grimaced. "Ugh, can we not talk politics at the table?"

"Dude, where've you been? We always bitch politics! Like, just cause grandmas like you can buy your booze legit -"

"Lillian, maybe save it for later? Not everything needs to be political."

Her spoon clattered.

"Like... excuse me?"

"What?" Zoey's expression was way too freakin' casual considering the bombshell she'd just dropped. "I just said -"

" _Not everything needs to be -_ Bitch, you told us _everything's_ political!"

"Not meal times, Lilly Pie."

When Zoey said nothing in objection, Lillian knew something was horribly wrong.

"Um, meals are totally political, grandma! _Breakfast_ is political! I can't eat Lucky Charms any more 'cause that triggers the Irish! Captain Crunch props up the military-industrial complex so he's out too! And I had to throw out all my Frosted Flakes cause that encourages animal exploitation!"

"Aw kiddo, I love Frosted Flakes. Theyyyy're great!"

Zoey perked. "Really? Hey um, maybe pick some up on your grocery run? We could... share a bowl?"

"Kiddo, I'll share your bed but nobody messes with my Frosted Flakes."

Mouth gaping, Lillian glanced to Suki for back-up. The ganguro girl just smiled like a happy little lobotomy patient. " _Oishi!_ Your stirfry is _subarashi_ , Yumi-san!"

_"Tabe suginaide kudasai, Suki-chan. Anata wa futorudeshou."_

Suki's smile dropped.

"Um... _arigato?_ "

Miss Yumi clucked her tongue, a very disappointed teacher. _"Anata ga watashi o rikai dekinai no wa kanashī kotodesu..."_

"Hai!" Suki-chan chirped in agreement. "Can _watashi_ have some more nummy stirfry? _Onegai?"_

Chuckling at some perverse joke, Miss Yu pushed over the serving bowl. Lillian just stared at the pod person who'd replaced her boss bitch.

* * *

The weekend abnormalities kept piling up:

"Zoey, wanna head to the mall? Like, hand out petitions against that 'Drinking at 22' law?"

"Thanks but it's exam season. I should probably prioritize my education over social activism."

* * *

"Zoey, the Santa Claus parade's comin' up this afternoon. We're totally gonna storm the crowd, right? Hand out pamphlet's about Wicca and the All-Mother, right?"

"I don't know, Lillian. We should probably respect others' religious beliefs and give them space to celebrate in their own way."

* * *

"Hey, Zoey - check out what's trending: some airport security chick got reprimanded for doing 'unauthorized cavity searches'! Look - she's one of those Muslim chicks with a head-towel! Horny hypocrite, amiright?"

"Lillian, police and security services may be fundamentally corrupt but it sounds like the mainstream media's singling out this woman for her religious headwear. That's sad."

Lillian nearly lost it.

"What the flying fuck is coming out of your mouth? You're _defending_ headscarves? The bag they put over chicks' heads because dudes turn into raging boner monsters if they see long hair?"

"Lillian, there's more to it. Aiko linked me an article: for women who _choose_ to wear them, the niqab, the hijab and the burqa are powerful icons to demonstrate their religious devotion, no different from a crucifix necklace or a Jewish yamaka."

"You totally said those shitty bath towels are like, a tool of female oppression 'n shit."

"Did I?"

"Umm, yeah! It's totally up there on your Twitter feed: _Dear Muslim men, let's make a deal: I'll put on a niqab when you clamp tiny iron maidens over your dicks. #StopControllingWomen._ "

Zoey blinked. "Wow, that was harsh of me."

Lillian seized her her pigtails and fought back a scream.

* * *

And if you hadn't spent the weekend chatting up Zoey, the proof was there on her Agent-Z Twitter feed. Where her political affiliation was once listed as _radical socialist,_ the label now read _left of center._

There was no other way to put it: Zoey was mellowing out.

"Miss Yu's freakin' behind this," Lillian griped to Suki. The slacker bitch who couldn't give a crap about cleaning or working or making something out of her life was dangling her poison above Zoey's ear. Drop by drop, she was infecting their friend with her 'why me worry?' attitude.

"Ano, it is nice to be nice to others," Suki-chan pointed out.

"Yeah? Well it'd be _nice_ if our freakin' coven sister hung out with us for anime night! We do this every Sunday!"

"But senpai is studying in her room."

"Omigod, did you not see Miss Yu creep in there with her? Green jacket, tight skirt, _riding crop_? What the hell kind of tutoring is she doing?"

Across the loft, Jimmy Hendrix' _Purple Haze_ started up again. "Ooh, senpai must have done a good job," Suki-chan observed.

"Suki, they've been playing that every friggin' fifteen minutes!"

Violet eyes gave a defiant twitch, but Suki-chan swallowed up that little insurrection. Smiling and cramming her mouth full of popcorn, she pointed to the two anime dudes getting hot and heavy on screen.

"Isn't yaoi fun, Kuroko-chan?"

"It was fun watching together."

Shit, it seemed a lifetime ago. Suki would pop in one of her guy-on-guy DVDs, she'd nuke the popcorn and Zoey would give a mortified disclaimer about how problematic the characters would be; how they'd encourage "unhealthy relationship dynamics". Still, whenever the tall dude totally pinned the smaller gimp to the wall and started feeling up his bulge, Zoey'd totally be squealing and cheering with the rest of them.

 _Isn't even that hardcore,_ Lillian grumbled. Like, give her five minutes on a laptop and she could be shlicking off to something way hotter than these 2D twinks.

Time to change topics."Whatcha sketching?" Suki had been busy at work in one of her art pads.

"Storyboards for our next Social Justice Warrior doujin! Tomorrow's when me and senpai update our blog with new pages!" A horrible thought. "Ororo! Senpai never gave me the script for the new pages!"

 _Good luck with that,_ Lillian scoffed as Suki-chan toddled across the apartment and rap-rap-rapped on Zoey's door. After some awkward shuffling, the black girl squeezed head and bare shoulder around the doorframe. "... yes?"

"Senpai! Tomorrow's our doujin update day! You have the script for me, right?"

"Ohh... that." Zoey scratched at her sweaty brow. "Um, maybe another night?"

Suki's magical sunshine shattered. "But... we always update on Monday nights. Our readers are counting on us!"

"Zo-eyyy," crooned the siren call from inside. "Are you being a good girl?"

A small, pained look crossed Zoey's face. "I have to go."

The door clicked shut and Suki just stood there, stupefied as _Purple Haze_ blasted her in the face. "But... our readers..."

It was freakin' painful watching Suki-chan toddle back to the couch, to see her try and scrape together a reason to go on.

"I... I need to support senpai by giving her alone time. That's my job."

Lillian scoffed, left for her room and returned with a black pen and one of her D'nD planning books.

"Siddown. Like, I'll write you a scenario." She'd totally created her own high fantasy kingdom; scripting a single comic book should be a cinch.

"A-arigato, Lillian. You're a real _tomodachi."_

"Okay, so here's what I'm thinking: your James Bond guy -"

"John Link."

"Right, well John infiltrates the evil corporate CEO's mansion to seduce the prick, but it backfires: the Social Justice Warrior's the one who falls for the evil dude. He becomes the boss' new right-hand man, starts helping him spread capitalism."

The proposal left Suki-chan aghast. "B-but the hero would give up everything he believes in and stands for! He wouldn't be himself anymore!"

Lillian looked up with gravely bitter eyes. "I know."

* * *

Panting face-down on the bed, Zoey squeaked as Aiko's riding crop flicked through the air. "You know, if it's too much we do have a safe word."

"I know," she blurted, "b-but it's all good. I can keep up! This is something you like, right?"

Aiko just looked at her. Zoey swore she could look right through her, see her every secret shame. In the end, Miss Yumi only shrugged. "Okay. I mean, I'm not complaining."

Aiko retreated to the desk and cracked open a beer. Sighing, Zoey retrieved her phone from underneath her pillow and resumed browsing Reddit. She jumped in surprise when arms wove around her. "Oh, that legal age story again?"

"It is pretty problematic."

"But not your problem." Aiko took her phone, shut off the screen. "Let the fat cats at city hall sort it out. Lucky thing you've got a sugar momma to buy you all the booze you want."

"Th-thank you, Mistress."

Zoey braced herself for the next round. Instead, Aiko let her go.

"Stopped by the thrift store on my afternoon walk. Picked you up some outfits."

Zoey spied the paper clothing bag near the door. "F-for me? Wait, was this with the grocery money?"

Aiko coughed. "I... found a 20 on the sidewalk. Figured I'd treat you."

"That's... I mean, thank you, Mistress."

Giddy and curious, Zoey went over to browse. All her cybergoth outfits were special orders from small, independent seamstresses on Etsy. What exactly had Aiko found for her?

She held up the first top, a tummy-bearing tee in pastel pink, the sequined logo blaring _Mommy's Girl._

"Oh..."

"Didn't know your size so I just figured, 'go for smaller'."

"It's... not my usual style."

"Are you sure? Because my _good girl_ would look so sexy in these. Whaddya say? Try it on for me, kiddo?"

Even as goosebumps shivered down Zoey's arms, even as she ran a mental list of the many problematic aspects of the clothes, deep down she already knew her answer.

"Of course, Mistress."


	11. Critical Hit to the Heart

_Like, how did it all go so totally wrong?_

Three weeks ago, Lillian had been chilling with her girls - enjoying life, defacing churches and totally not giving a shit about what anyone else thought. In three short weeks, Miss Yu had taken the delicate tissue paper of their lives and blown her wad all over it.

One week to worm into their lives. Two weeks to slither under Zoey's skirts. Now, it was like she ruled the roost, leaving her mark on every inch of the apartment. Dirty dishes piled up in the kitchen, clothes hung off every piece of furniture and the empty beer cans in the bathroom couldn't be cleared out fast enough.

And beyond all that mess lay something unfathomable: mainstream Christmas.

Lillian surveyed her apartment, her home, trying to find anything familiar beneath the tacky Christmas ornaments overtaking the loft like weeds. Old St. Nick's huge, cartoony face was tacked up in every windowpane. Jolly elves danced upon the walls alongside candy canes, snowmen and reindeer pulling a sleigh. The Yule log centerpiece on the dining table had been uprooted for a tiny, chintzy statue of Santa in a polo shirt with a bag of golf clubs. Pushing the button on his belly made a tinny voice box proclaim "ho-ho-hooole in one!"

The god's eye crafts Suki had hand-spun and mounted above the TV were barely visible below a wall banner proclaiming "Happy Holidays".

_Happy Holidays_. Mom had always gotten her panties in a knot whenever the TV stations refused to say 'Merry Christmas' (all that inclusivity crap,) and Lillian was strangely starting to see eye to eye. _Yuletide Greetings! Like, we're witches, we celebrate our own shit!_

Lillian turned to the architect of this crappy Santa village for answers. "I thought Christmas was a sellout holiday."

"Oh it is." Zoey smiled brightly as she added snowmen and elf ornaments to their yuletide tree. "But I decided it was important to be open-minded about other people's cultural practices. You know, focus on things that unite rather than divide."

Lillian eyed the boxes of thrift store decorations. "So you decided to like, join the crowd and go shopping?"

"I did! Aiko mentioned how much she loves Christmas displays and all these were on sale! Do you think she'll like it?"

Lillian didn't answer. She just marched into Zoey's grill and said it like it was.

"You've gone soft."

More specifically, she'd gone soft girl. Lillian sized up Zoey's new wardrobe, straight out of a high school bimbo's Instagram gallery: white knee socks, a pleated mini-tartan that skirted her thighs; a strappy tank top in pastel pink and lavender. The logo on today's garbage fire read _Pretty Kitty_.

Zoey had even changed her hair and make-up: for maximum spunk, she'd bundled her dreads into a high, off-center ponytail. To max out her baby-face, she'd gone heavy on the pink eyeliner and blush, with a smear of sparkly lip gloss to tap that perfect, juicy innocence. Of the old Zoey, only her spiked goggles remained.

"You look like a schoolgirl from a porno." Like, she wouldn't complain if this was a one-off photo shoot. (That skirt looked hella-good swishing against Zoey's ass) but her friend was wearing these day in, day out!

"And what's with the skinny tie?" Lillian's pointed at Zoey's neck and the black cord dangling to her navel.

"Oh, it's actually a leash." Zoey jangled the leather cord to demonstrate how it clipped into her bubble-gum pink collar. "Aiko thought it would improve our communication."

"Whu-?"

Said ex-teacher just then returned from a grocery run, humming Jingle Bells. "Hey, girls! How're my coven sisters? Ooh, this place is looking holly and jolly!"

Aiko plopped her paper bags on the kitchen counter, tossed her trenchcoat into the nearest window frame and sauntered over. Her fingers looped around Zoey's leash and gave a gentle tug. The ex-cybergoth beamed. "At once, Miss Alice!"

Miss Yumi flashed a wink and strutted for Zoey's bedroom. Lillian stood aghast.

_"Miss Alice?"_

Zoey's happy bubble burst. "Oh shoot, I wasn't supposed to -" Well, that cat was out of the bag.

"Aiko thought it would improve the mood if we gave each other names. You know, help us get into persona. She's Miss Alice; my name is Doll."

"Doll? Your name is _Doll?_ " Dingus, Dickwad and Dumbass Thot had more dignity than that pet name! "Zoey, you're a fucking tool!"

"A bottom, Lillian. I'm a bottom. My sexual energy is best expressed through acts of submission."

"So you lie down and take it? Doesn't sound like the Zoey effin' Greene I know."

"Lil, it's still me. I'm the same Zoey you've known all these months. I'm just exploring a new dimension of my sexual identity."

Lillian rolled her eyes but the new, tolerant Zoey would have none of it. She clasped Lillian's hands, securing her attention as she confessed.

"Lil, I didn't always present as cybergoth. Did you know I used to identify as a cybernetic android? Before that, I went by my fursona: Zo-Zo the blue ocelot with dragon wings, she/her. There might still be pictures I missed deleting; look it up if you want to see a walking disaster."

"Why're you telling me -?"

"Because I've always been changing, Lil. My identity is fluid. Every time I evolve, I cut away what I don't need and get a little closer to realizing my true self. Lillian, Aiko's helping me discover who I really am!"

"So the real Zoey keeps a leash around her neck, bends over and yaps 'thanks, gimmie some more'? Freakin' unbelievable!"

"Lillian, Aiko's seen the world, she's used real magic! There's so much I need to learn from her!"

Zoey spewed her shit like a leaky toilet and Lillian did her best to take it all in, to be chill and respectful even as raw sewage was being crapped all over her.

"Y'know, my mom used to dress me up like you."

Her thoughts swept back to her days as a teenybopper: mommy curling her blonde hair into little ringlets and tugging a pink ballgown over her head. Being paraded on stage for cutesy-poo beauty pageants. "Back then, I was mommy's little Lilly Pie and making her happy was like, my reason for living."

Zoey nodded. "Your mom showed us the videos. See, you've changed as well!"

"No shit! Once I figured out what a soulless, brainless Barbie I'd looked like, I dyed my hair, bought my own clothes and made my own rules! What kind of garbage-headed idiot would go back to that shit?"

"Exactly!"

But Zoey's smile faltered when Lillian refused to join in. "Like, lemmie say it again, _doll:_ what kind of garbage-headed idiot would go back to that shit?"

Zoey's eyes darkened. "It's like you think you can control me."

"Excuse me?"

"Aiko warned me about this. How my friends would hold me back, try and mold me to fit in with society. I don't need that negativity from you, Lillian."

"Zoe, what the fuck's gotten into ya?"

"I mean, for someone who keeps saying how few fucks they give, you're certainly making my love life your business! Why do you care?"

"Because I-"

Lillian froze. Her chest tightened.

That was a good question.

"I don't freakin' know! I just don't like seeing my friend getting hurt, m'kay?"

"Look, I'm fine, Lillian. This is my choice. Now, can we put this all behind us? We're doing a make-up night since we missed Friday's D'nD campaign, right?"

"... right."

* * *

_Why do I care?_

As Lillian set up the campaign, those four words ate away at her brain. _Why do I care? Like, that's the question._ Wasn't it totally nobler to just mind her own beeswax, to let Zoey get slinged and arrowed by her own shitty decisions? Was it her job to armor up and go against the sea of trouble that was Miss Yu? Oppose her, cancel her?

That heavy hand gripped her heart again. _Like, we've known each other less than a year. Why can't I just walk away?_

"Lillian, can we get started?"

Oh yeah, the campaign. _Wake up, mush-for-brains!_ Lillian would have to give this session her all. The character Miss Yu had rolled seemed custom-built to drive DMs nuts: a buff samurai dude whose defining trait seemed to be 'large ham'.

"Ahoy, yon party members! Verily, I have been sent by Duke Markus of Kane to aid ye in yonder mission!"

Seriously, who freakin' introduced themselves with like, a Shakespeare monologue?

"Greetings, strange traveler! Tell us about yourself," said Blake the warlock, initiating the most pretentious self-introduction in the history of forever!

"Verily, mine name doth be Hanzo! I hail from the Eastern shores of um... Glug-Lug! An outcast from the noble Sake clan!"

Blake's gasp was the stuff of B-movie legends. "An outcast!"

"Glug-Lug?" Lillandra flatlined. "Omigod, wow. Really breaking the bank on names."

"An outcast, verily! For my sensual heart refused to constrain its passions to the protocols of proper society."

"Couldn't keep your dick in ye olde trousers, huh, Hanzy?"

Miss Yu shot her a wink.

"Alas, my grandfather sentenced me to exile! Cursed to follow the path of my hands and... eternally wander."

Below the table, Zoey gave a quick squeak. "Not here," she whined.

"What did you do, Hanzo-san?"

_"Watashi wa yoi tomodachi to baka ni aimashita."_

"N-nani?"

Blake coughed. "In the common tongue, perhaps?"

"Ah, yes! I arrived on the shores of Ukiyo, greeted by those I thought would be my friends. Alas, I was gravely mistaken. My closest confidante betrayed my trust and shattered my most precious family heirloom. Meanwhile, the so-called friends who remained were wolves hiding under the skins of lambs. They sought to curb and control my passions - locking me in a cell, sending apothecaries to numb me with medicines and priests to lecture me into obedience. _You need help taking control of your life, Aik-_ err, I mean, Hanzo! Good listeners, these devils sought to remove the very heart of all that is Hanzo!"

Blake gasped. "What did you do?"

"Nani, nani?" Cera chimed.

"I doth escaped and affirmed my vow to enjoy all of life's most sensual pleasures! Then I, y'know, needed cash so Duke Kane told me to meet you guys. As to the end of my sad tale -" Miss Yumi paused for dramatic weight, "- that shall be for yonder trio to decide."

Cera and Blake burst into applause. Lillandra rolled her eyes. "Wow, tragic backstory, much? Way to Gary Stu it, Miss Yu."

"I know not this Garreth Stuart you speak of but I am prepared to aid ye on yon quest! Behold my inventory: the Sword Unbreakable, the Breastplate Impenetrable and the Helmet Invulnerable!"

Cera gave a well-timed "Oooh!" Lillian just frowned.

"Lemmie see that character sheet..."

"Whoa, no need to get grabby -"

"Standard starting armor is -"

"Lillian, she's just doing flavor text."

"-wait, 18... 19... 18? Did you _seriously_ roll these stats?"

"Luck of the dice, Lilly Pie."

"Zoe, this cheater totally fudged her rolls!"

"Lil, it's just a game."

"It's _my_ game!"

"Aha! Dost yonder necromancer verily desire a fight?"

"Say that to my face again and you're getting a magic missile right up your samurai ass."

"Mmm, I didn't peg you for that kinky shit, Lilly Pie."

"Omigod! Zoey, she's doing it again!"

" _Mina-san! Yameru!_ " Suki-chan threw her hands up like a hippie halting a row of tanks. "Can't we just play and be happy?"

"Fine," Lillian huffed. "But like, cut the crap with the 'yon' and 'verily', m'kay? It like, totally pisses me off when people like, freakin' throw in weird words to sound cool."

Miss Yu nodded. "Like, totally."

Back in the adventure, Blake cleared their throat. "Welcome to our band of adventurers, Sir Hanzo. I am Blake the Warlock, they/them."

"Greetings, Blake the Warlock. I hope that on our travels we can get to know one another more... intimately."

Hippy-dippy Suki-chan smiled on; only Lillian caught the first of many eye-twitches to come.

* * *

"- and the bog wraiths go down hard. Everyone gets 324 XP and Lillandra grabs the final crest of valour. Nice work, team."

"We did it!"

"Yatta!"

" _Omedetō, Suki-chan. Anata wa orokadesuga, anata wa yakunitachimasu."_

"Um, arigato?" Another eye twitch.

Thanks to some behind-the-scenes DM number fudging, Hanzo hadn't just one-shot every monster they'd came across, though it left Cera and Blake in some close calls. Unbelievably, every time Blake took a bad hit, Hanzo kept swooping to the rescue like some prissy white knight. "Lemmie check under your armor for wounds, doll."

"Hanzo, Cera needs a potion too!"

_"Jibun no mendō o mite, futotta on'nanoko."_

"Huh?"

Wordlessly, Miss Yu leaned over and tapped on Suki's character sheet. "Oh... I guess I do have lots of my own."

Lillian didn't like the way Suki's breathing was getting shallower.

"Next, Hanzo gives Blake a victory slap on her nice, tight ass. What's say you and me share a room at the inn tonight?"

"No." Suki's chirp surprised them all. The week-long smile she'd plastered onto her face had fallen loose. _Aw crap..._

"No, Blake-chan promised to drink with Cera at the bar and do karaoke, right?"

"Well -"

"Blake, be a _good girl_ and come with Hanzo?"

"I –"

Suki was hyperventilating through her nose and Miss Yu's amused chuckle wasn't helping. Zoey looked to Lillian for assistance. "Like... roll for persuasion checks?"

Miss Yumi picked up her dice, probably figuring she could get in one final poke. _"Anata wa sudeni makemashita, futotta on'nanoko."_

Suki's hands slammed the table. _"Stop saying weird things to me!"_

Shrieking like an animal, Suki swatted the bowl of Doritos across the table. Orange chips and powered cheese spilled everywhere. In the chaos, Suki bolted off, slamming the door behind her.

The door to Lillian's bedroom.

Zoey groaned. "Aiko..."

"What, I'm just messing around. Just a joke."

"Well Suki totally didn't get the freakin' message, Miss Yu."

"Oh, so I'm supposed to take it lying down when she dresses like a clown and make-believes being Japanese?"

"Like, you didn't have to be such a nasty bitch about it!"

"I'm the nasty one?"

"Lil, Aiko, enough! Look, let's just take five while I go talk with Suki."

But Lillian stood first. "Sit the fuck down. You're the last one Suki needs to see."

"Lillian -"

"No, you've done enough, Denise."

Zoey exploded and screamed bloody murder. Walking away, Lillian felt like an action hero: she didn't look back, not once.

* * *

She found Suki curled on the floor beside her bed, blubbering softly into Lillian's plush Oogie Boogie doll with her knees up to her chest. As she stepped inside and closed the door, Lillian did her best to ignore the unsightly panty shot. _Blue stripes, seriously?_

Oof, what to do? Give her space? Try and get close? Lillian settled for sitting on the floor and scooching forward bit by bit until she sat shoulder to shoulder with the otaku girl.

"Like... I'm gonna be sleeping here, sooo -"

Suki threw her arms around her. Lillian winced as her shoulder became a depository for snot and sadness.

"Don't make me go back to my room. _Onegai?_ Every single night, I can hear them. I can hear the bed squeak and it hurts, Lillian. It hurts!"

Shit, she was no good with this comforting crap, so she sat next to the kid, patted her on the head and waited for the storm to settle.

"I think-" Suki took a deep breath, "I think I'm going to move out, Lillian. I can't - I can't –"

Suki covered her face and sobbed.

"I want to be a good friend but it hurts. Seeing them makes my stomach sick and my heart hurt. I can't keep going like this. I'm have to move out."

Lillian gave a long sigh.

"You know my mom likes you best, right?" _Lilly Pie, why can't you be more like that sweet little Soochi girl?_ "Like, if you move out, if my mom finds out it's just me and Zoey getting off with her teacher, she'll cut off the rent cash."

"Then come with me, Lillian!" Suki seized her hands with utmost sincerity. "We can move out together, start our own _mahou shoujo_ club! We can live however we want!"

Move out? No Miss Yumi, no lousy housemate It was music to her ears. Except –

"I can't."

" _Dōshite?_ Why do you care?"

"Because I -"

That question again. That tightness in her chest again, freezing her on the spot again. Only this time, it all made sense:

_Because I've got the hots for Zoey._

Yeah, this amazing, hardcore girl she'd known for less than a year, the girl Lillian would trade all her years to be with one day longer. The realization flashed through her brain like lightning, so quickly she found herself fumbling for words.

"Because I'm not giving up on Zoey!" Lillian grabbed Suki by the shoulders. "Don't freakin' quit on me! Like, we can figure something out!"

"Nani?" Suki's eyes grew bitter and dark. "Kuroko-chan has an idea?"

"I dunno!" Shit, she wasn't any good at coming up with ideas! Zoey was the brains, she just went along with whatever the boss wanted.

"No, wait – we'll do this Zoey's way: cancel culture! We dig up something nasty on Miss Yu and call her out in front of the boss! No way in hell she'll let Miss Yu stay if she's a problem-haddock."

"Problematic," Suki snapped. "I listen to senpai's lectures."

"Right, whatever. Just like, promise me you won't quit? Hold out just a bit longer?"

Suki thought it over. "I wanna celebrate winter solstice with senpai. If Yumi-san's not gon by then -"

Lillian checked her phone. December 18th. Three days. "I got this."

* * *

When Lillian returned to the main room, Zoey and Miss Yu were gone and _Purple Haze_ was blaring from the far end of the loft. The table was still a mess of papers and upturned potato chips.

"Like, thanks for cleaning up." Scoffing, Lillian set about rescuing her precious campaign notes and die-cast miniatures from the greasy snacks. When she came to Zoey's spot, she paused.

Zoey's goggles. In their rush to be alone, Zoey had left her headgear on the table. Or maybe it was no accident at all and her friend was shedding the last inconvenient bits of her old persona. Zoey had fully committed to being Miss Alice's soft girl doll.

Lillian's fingers brushed over the spikes and lens dials. Zoey would swap her clothes but she'd always kept her goggles close. She strapped them on for every Agent-Z photoset, she took them to her U of G classes; she probably even wore them to sleep. They were as precious to Zoey as Lillian's phone was to her. To just leave them behind... it was like Frodo tossing aside the One Ring. It was like, completely giving up!

Lillian nabbed the goggles, marched to the bathroom mirror and - with all the gut-busting tension of trying on someone else's panties - strapped them on.

_Whoa!_ How the hell did one little accessory so completely amp up your badass levels? _I gotta get me some of these full-time!_

For now, these would stay with her - a reminder of what she was fighting to protect. _If you're not gonna be the boss and take charge, Zoey, then I'll do it myself._

Operation _Kick Miss Yu's Ass to the Curb_ started now.


	12. Spark of Discovery

The next morning, Lillian woke feeling damn good.

Maybe it was the good night's rest. Suki had camped out on her floor and the weeb's gentle snoring had been weirdly soothing, like curling up close to a puppy. Maybe it was that sweet-ass wet dream, something about a bus crowded with faceless dudes and their washboard abs rubbing her against the window.

Maybe it was the fact that Zoe's goggles, when matched with her tightest red corset and fishnets, really let her rock the steampunk look. Like, damn girl, she looked ready to fly a mother-effin' zeppelin and mow down cyborg zombies!

And she had it all planned out.

So like, maybe she wasn't on Zoey's level when it came to organizing protests and shit but she was a damn good dungeon master. The more she imagined her task like a D'nD campaign, the easier her path became. Like, what was the first thing any good adventurer did after nabbing a quest? They totally hit up the local tavern for NPC news!

So Lillian called in sick with the comic shop and snuck over to the university campus. Just like in her dream, chiselled dude-bros crowded close to chat her up. No effin' surprise considering how high she had her tits hiked up.

"S'up. So, you guys know anything about Miss Yumi? Like, I think she taught math or something?"

And holy eff, was there no shortage of opinions and gossip.

"Oh, you mean Miss Aiko? Yeah, she was the bomb! Crashed all the frat parties and drank the football team under the table!"

"Shit man, that bitch plays a mean game of beer pong!"

"Miss Yumi? Oh yeah, my brother works at the casino; told me she'd be there every Friday night playing big at the Blackjack tables."

"Oh stawp, I heard her besties had to put her on the 'no admittance' list 'cause she dumped her savings. What a drag."

"I heard she was sucking the dean's dick."

"No way, dude, she was going down on Dr. Trang from Engineering!"

"Wasn't she creeping on all the foreign exchange students?"

"Bro, she could creep on my ass any time! Holy shit did she have legs!"

Lillian mostly spent the day rolling her eyes. The comments ranged from totally dumb ("Miss Yu? 8 out of 10 on the sweater pups. I'd hit that!") to seriously gross. ("Pretty sure she taught drunk most days.") But on one vital point, every frat boy and sorority sister was in agreement:

"If you really wanna know -"

"If you want the inside scoop -"

"- then you gotta talk to _her._ "

* * *

"Why the fuck are you talking to me?"

Lillian never imagined a pet shop could feel so creepy. Like, puppies 'n kitties, this shit should've been right up Suki's _ugu kawaii_ alley! But the mall pet store was seriously freaking her out!

Everything was jammed so claustrophobically tight, with rows upon rows of glowing fish tanks stretching up to the rafters. All those huge, globular eyes staring at her and bumping against the glass like they were raring to suck out her soul. And like, that wasn't even mentioning the dog cages at the back, all of them snarling and yapping their heads off as soon as she'd stepped inside.

"Well? I'm fucking waiting!"

The clerk behind the counter was seriously pissed. _Like, if I had to wear a crappy purple polo shirt like that, I'd be pissed too._ But the temper ran further than that. Lillian knew the signs - the twitchy fingers, the way she gnawed on that lollipop. This chick needed a smoke break, _bad._

"Look, I just need some deets and everyone I talked to said that you and Miss Yumi were tight. Besties, even."

The shop chick's lollipop snapped clean off. Her eyes sizzled a murderous red.

"Get the fuck out. Say that fucking name once more and I will cunt-punt your shitty goth ass back into the Hot Topic dumpster you crawled out from."

 _Holy crap, what was with this PMSing ass-hat?_ "So, like, you're not friends?"

"Bitch, Aiko and I are like, polar opposites of friends. That slut is dead to me."

"Then you could like, help me score some dirt on her?"

The shop chick didn't immediately kill her. This was good. "C'mon, I seriously need some help, uh-" Lillian squinted at the girl's name tag. "... Aubrey?"

" _Audrey."_

The brunette scowled as she brushed her blonde bangs and straightened her black rose hairpin. "The name's _Audrey_. Mess it up again and things are gonna get crazy."

As if to prove her point, the dogs in the back foamed over into a total frenzy, gnashing and snarling and throwing themselves against the glass displays - anything to lunge at Lillian. Eyes twitching, the desk girl twirled in her chair.

"Will you slobber-mutts shut the fuck up already?!"

It was like she'd hit a mute button. A spark of red flashed across the brunette's eyes and the doggy horde clamped up like well-trained soldiers. A dozen doggy haunches all hit the floor, ears perked and backs straight. _Sir, yes sir!_

Audrey spun back to her, muttering. "Fuckin' dumbass dogs... That was totally your shitty-ass fault, y'know."

"Me?"

"Yes, you! Dragging in all those cawglers like that! Cats and dogs can smell those magical critters. Sets 'em right the fuck off. Hold still."

Audrey flashed a V-sign, raised her fingers to her left eye and stared at Lillian for a three count. "There, I just purified all the cawglers hanging out on you. You're seriously stressing, y'know that?"

"Cawglers?"

"Bitch, did I stutter? Cawglers are invisible crows that gobble down on stressed-out humans. My eyes could see them roosting and shitting all over you." She flashed a crumpled paper tag scrawled over with Japanese writing.

"Normally, my barrier wards keep those little shits out of the shop but since Otis decided to piss all over one-"

Wait, purifying? Magic eyes? Invisible spirits and barrier wards? "Holy crap, you're like the white girl version of Zoey!" How were these two not besties?

"Bitch, compare me to Zoey Greene again and I will dropkick your bratty ass back up your mama's cunt faster than you can say pussy-whipped, got that?"

"Like, whatever! Hey, just so y'know, I'm totally in with the magical world too, m'kay? I like, seriously had a love fairy follow me around last January."

Audrey snorted up a laugh. "Bitch, you're bragging about that? Love fairies only show up to virgins and losers!"

"Fuck off, I'm not a virgin! I've totally scored!"

"With who? Your hillbilly cousin?"

"Um, my cousin Mikey's like, a rock star. Boy's got abs for days!"

Audrey's rose pin seemed to visibly wilt. "... right, this is getting fucked up fast."

The brunette pointed to Lillian's purse and the flashing box of cigarettes. "How about we take this out back?"

* * *

Outside the back delivery entrance, Lillian flicked her dark dragon lighter, while Audrey snatched her free cig and started merrily puffing away. _Okay, weird._ She hadn't seen the bitchy brunette whip out any kind of lighter but her fag still burned brightly. _Fast hands, I guess._

"Haaa, fuck that's good. Y'know, my girlfriend hates it when I smoke. Always thought going cold turkey would be a bitch, but having her tongue down my throat's way hotter than even the premium shit."

Lillian coughed. "Wow, someone's smug."

"Fuck, if you knew Tiffany, you'd be bragging for days." Audrey scrutinized Lillian's steampunk getup, pausing on the goggles. "Now I remember - you're one of Zoey's stooges."

"Coven sisters."

"Did I stutter? Hey, what the fuck's up with witch-face? She came to our physics exam the other day wearing a freakin' leash and collar."

"Like, that's why I'm here! Zoey's been-" how to put it delicately? "-talkin' to Miss Yu. It's got her acting all weird. Figured you could help out."

"For fuck's sake, I smoked pot with Aiko and we bragged about all the dick we scored. Not exactly BFFs by my count, dipshit."

"Did Miss Yu ever talk to you about, y'know, magic?"

"Magic..." Audrey looked away, leveling a thousand-yard stare at the horizon. "Yeah, Aiko and I, we had a little _chat_ about magic. We had a few _words_. Hope I fucked her up half as bad as what she did to Tiff and Momo..."

"Momo?"

"Don't fuckin' ask."

Bitter with memory, Audrey's fist crumpled around her still-burning cigarette. Lillian startled - "whoa!" - but when the brunette opened her hand, the skin was unmarred. A cylinder of ash fell from her palm, scattered by the wind.

"How'd you-?"

"Magic, fucktard. So, robo-witch's been quizzing Aiko about spells and potions? Fuck, that's rich."

"Like, what's so funny?"

"Oh my god. Okay, seeing as your retard brain still hasn't put two and two together, I'll throw you a bone, spell it out super fucking clear. Last spring, Miss Yumi could use magic. Last spring, Zoey got hurt by magic. Are you gettin' it yet, baby?"

"Umm…"

Audrey sighed. "Who the fuck do you think used magic to beat the shit out of Zoey?"

Lillian's cigarette dropped to the concrete. "Holy …"

"Ah, the fuckwit finally gets it."

Oh she got it all right, and it floored her blood down to sub-zero. _Zoey, she's at home alone with a magical psychopath!_

"I gotta get home, like now!"

Audrey rolled her eyes, totally disinterested. "Yeah, you do that, steampunk."

"Eff off! Zoey could be in serious shit!"

"Mm-hmm?" Audrey started unwrapping another lollipop, lemon flavor. Lillian scoffed and psyched herself up to run.

"Hell, now I've really gotta kick Miss Yu out of our apartment!"

"Mmph?" Audrey choked on her candy, hacking and coughing. By the time she cleared her throat, the goth brat was long gone.

"Wait, what? Aiko's at your -?"

* * *

"Phew, what a workout!"

The bedsprings sagged as Aiko flopped back on the cot, happily exhausted. Wheezing on her belly, Zoey was simply exhausted.

"Y-yes, Miss Alice..."

The young witch had harbored many fantasies about sex - embracing her lover, becoming one with her lover - but none of those syrupy dreams had ever ended with her feeling so utterly drained. She felt brittle, parched - a citrine crystal ready to crack.

But refreshment lay so close. _Aiko_...

In her mind's eye, Zoey saw them linking, arms and legs entwining like cords of rope, strands of feminine energy strengthening and renewing each other.

When she scooted closer, Aiko gave her a tired look. "You're a real slut for cuddles, y'know that?"

Zoey shrank away. "I just -"

"We've been over this, Doll. I get really hot after I work out or have sex. My doctor says it's a gland thing. Can I get a bit of space? I am literally burning up here."

"Y-yes, Miss Alice."

"Thank you." Aiko mopped her forehead, breathing deeply and enjoying her space. "Phew, I need a shower."

A shower! Cool water, smooth hands working a soapy lather over glistening skin! Zoey seized her chance.

"May I join you, Miss Alice?"

"Did you pick up that bath mat like I asked?"

When Zoey shook her head no, Aiko gave a sad sigh. "That's asking for a slip. Seriously, I broke my ankle fucking a guy in the shower. Total mood killer."

"Oh."

It was cold comfort when Aiko patted her on the shoulder.

"Look, lemmie grab a cold one, then we can watch TV or something. You can sit next to me on the couch. Sound good, Doll?"

"Yes, Miss Alice."

"Great!"

Aiko sprang to her feet without a care in the world, flicking on the lights so she could scavenge the floor for an after-shower tee and shorts. Under the light, Zoey shrank beneath the bedsheets, pulling the covers up to her chin, envious of how her lover could parade so shamelessly in the nude, breasts swaying and bum wiggling so naturally.

When she heard the rush of the shower, Zoey killed the lights and gingerly rose to her feet. Every tiptoe left her legs and back aching. _Still getting used to... everything._

She'd just managed to shrug on some underwear and one of the off-the-shoulder tee's Aiko had bought her ( _Cute Rabbit_ , cooed the logo) when she heard the front door slam and a great, gasping mess collapse in the front foyer. Zoey recognized the ragged panting in a heartbeat.

"Lillian!"

* * *

Mother of fuck, how had she forgotten her inhaler? Lillian dropped to the floor, wheezing and sweating buckets. A huge, heavy hand was squeezing around her chest; every breath came harder, shorter.

 _So hard... t'breathe..._ Maybe if she curled up, made herself super small, her lungs wouldn't have to work so frickin' much...

She was only vaguely aware of her head being lifted onto something warm and soft but she recognized the plastic taste of her puffer as it was pushed against her lips. Lillian didn't give a damn if she looked like a baby sucking from mommy's bottle, she grabbed that teat and sucked down hard.

A long inhale. The vice around her chest began to relax. "... okay? Lil, you... okay?"

Her vision had yet to refocus. Lillian swore a very dopey-looking panda mascot was staring at her in a panic. " _Buchimaru-kun... izzat you?_ "

"... hear me, Lillian? ... me, Zoey!"

" _... Zoey?_ "

It was then that Lillian realized two things: one, her head was resting on some chick's bare, black thighs. Two, the cartoon hallucination speaking to her was a panda decal printed on said chick's white panties.

Lillian's eyes moved from Buchimaru-kun to Zoey's panicky red and blue eyes. She immediately needed another puff to steady her jackhammering heart.

 _Holy crap, Zoey's a Buchi-babe too?_ But no, that wasn't important. She had a message to deliver!

"Zoey... y'gotta... get away from her. She's... dangerous... OW!"

 _Clunk_ went Lillian's skull, thudding against the floorboards as Zoey pulled away.

"By the All-Mother, this again?" Zoey's tired scoff was totally cribbing her material, not that it mattered now.

"I'm totally serious! She's dangerous!"

"Who's dangerous?"

The bathroom door creaked open and Lillian's lungs seized up again. Miss Yumi, wandering out casually in a wet tank top and shorts, fixing a towel around her hair. "I heard the noise. What happened?"

Who did this bitch think she was fooling with the innocent act? Lillian took a last hit, then forced herself to sit up and be serious.

"I'm onto you, grandma! Zoey, listen: I asked around town; talked to Miss Yu's old peeps. Zoey, those magic shadows she told us about? Those _invisible_ magic shadows like, only she could see? Last spring she sent them after you! She's the one who messed you up and sent you to the hospital!"

"Lillian, that's -"

 _Ridiculous._ She could totally see the word wobbling on Zoey's tongue. But one glance at Miss Yu - pale and pissing her panties like someone had found the dead body hidden in her backyard - and the boss lost all her sass.

"Aiko…?"

"Kiddo, let me explain -"

"Is this... no, it can't be true. I mean, I know we didn't exactly get along on campus but..."

Lillian followed Zoey's hands, tracing the phantom pain in her legs. "Face the facts, Zoey! She sent her pet demons to eff you up bad!"

"That's not it!" Miss Yu was a sweating, trembling nightmare. She looked guilty as fuck and Zoey knew it.

"Is it true?" Zoey's eyes welled with tears. "I want you to be honest with me: did you send your familiars to attack me?"

Miss Yu cringed and ground her teeth. Her fingernails dragged down her temple. "I mean... kinda?"

" _Kinda?"_

"I mean no! Well... maybe? I mean - Look Zoey, my babies - they had minds of their own! And they were dumb as shit! I'd ask them to bring back food and they'd dump garbage scraps all over my floor! Royal screw ups! So I mean, yeah, they did kinda... attack you but honest to god, I never meant it! I never told them to do it! They just... wandered off!"

The pain on Zoey's face was unfathomable. "You. You broke my legs… you put me in the hospital..."

"Kiddo-"

"You woke me!"

Miss Yu's glasses nearly fell off. "I what?"

"She like, what?"

"You awakened me to my spiritual powers!"

Zoey's eyes, once black holes of malice, now popped wide with adoring starshine.

"Aiko, without you, I never would have realized my true identity as a Wiccan! Lillian, if she hadn't attacked me, I never would have met you or Suki! It's because of Aiko that I met my two best friends!"

Lillian stammered like her life depended on it. "B-but, the pain! The trauma! Like, the doctor's bills!"

"Lillian, don't you see? This is like a sacred circle of death and rebirth! It's all come full circle! Aiko and I were meant to clash! We were meant to find each other again; we were meant to be!"

A manic gleam seized Zoey's eyes as she took Aiko's hands. "I need you to make love to me. _Now._ "

"Um... okay?"

Lillian watched in horror as Zoey dragged Miss Yumi off the bedroom, the ex-teacher barely keeping pace. Aiko offered her a clueless shrug - "Thanks for sorting that out, Lilly Pie," before the door slammed shut.

 _Slam_. The opening guitar riffs of _Purple Haze_ blasted Lillian like nails in her coffin lid.

_What the eff...?_

* * *

Miss Yu had drunk all the beer so Lillian settled on smoking cigarette after cigarette to settle her nerves.

It wasn't working. _It's effin' over._

The worst moment in Zoey's life and if the boss could see the silver lining to it, what else could she level against Miss Yu?

Maybe Suki had the right idea. Maybe it was time to pack her stuff, find a new place. Maybe she'd start in the kitchen, grab her share of the cookies and chocolate but _ugh,_ the fridge was jammed tight with brown paper bags!

"Un-freakin-believable! Can't even empty 'n sort the groceries."

Lillian removed the first bag and overturned it on the counter. Apples and oranges rolled over the counter, followed by canned vegetables and -

"What's this?" A tiny business card-sized paper had fluttered out, the tail end of the food parade. Too small to be a grocery receipt, Lillian picked it up.

**_"He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever; his horn is exalted in honor."_ – Psalm 112:9**

The Bible verse was followed by a local area phone number. Puzzled, Lillian punched it into her phone and, after two rings was redirected to an automated menu.

" _You've reached the Glenberry Salvation Army. For food bank hours and operations, press-"_

* * *

"A food bank? Nani?"

"A food bank! All those groceries - Suki, she's been grabbing them from the Sally Ann donation center!"

" _Nandemonai_... that doesn't make sense. Yumi-san always takes the grocery jar with her. It gets emptied, we fill it back up."

The coven sisters sat in stone silence.

"So where the eff is she spending our money?"

* * *

Back at the mall, a musical chime from the PA system alerted shoppers that the doors would soon be closing. Audrey still hadn't begun the slow process of shuttering the pet shop. With no room to pace back and forth behind the checkout desk, she'd settled for chewing her thumb and drumming her chipped nails across the countertop. She'd hadn't moved from her spot in a long while.

"Totally none of my fucking business," she reasoned. _And yet..._

Sighing audibly, Audrey whipped out her phone and punched up a contact. One ring... two rings... _click._

"Hey, Bee? It's Audrey. I gotta- ... Delrio? Why the fuck are you answering Bee's phone? … uh huh? ... Whaddya mean she's 'busy'? ... Oh gross, like I needed to know that! For fuck's sake, he's your shitty brat! Aren't _you_ supposed to wipe his -? ... No, no, no, don't fucking hang up! Look, get Bee to finish up and put her on the phone. And tell her to wipe her dirty-ass hands, okay? ... Of course it's fucking important!"

Audrey gave a winded sigh. "It's about Aiko."


	13. Darkest Temptation

Like, where the hell was Miss Yu going with their money?

Lillian scolded herself for being such a dumbass. _As if she's just been bumming around the loft, fiddling with her newspaper puzzles and waiting t'cook us dinner!_ No, while the coven worked or attended classes, the ex-teacher had the entire weekday to cook up trouble. Then there were those long afternoon walks she took on weekends. _"To the park,"_ Miss Yu always shrugged when asked.

Well Lillian was through asking. Ditching work for a second day, the goth girl zipped up her most anonymous black leather jacket and bundled her hair under a knit beanie with a skull logo. Dressed like she was about to case a joint, Lillian ducked into the bus shelter across the street and waited for Miss Yu to leave the apartment.

Two cigarettes and a wad of gum later, Miss Yu exited looking shady as fuck: popping the collar of her long trench coat and immediately whipping out a baseball cap to hide her hair and face. Collar up and hands in her pockets, Miss Yumi started power-walking South.

Lillian mashed her gum on the bus shelter wall and marched in pursuit.

Miss Yumi moved quickly and the streets grew busy but Lillian wasn't worried. _Can't hide from me, bitch_. Once she strapped on Zoey's goggles, Aiko blazed in her vision as that black hole of tentacles; blending into a crowd became impossible.

She was jumpy as fuck, though, darting her head left, right and over her shoulder, as though glancing for tails. More than once, Lillian had to duck behind a lamp post or shove her face into a magazine. ( _Huh,_ even the weekly teen fashion mags were chiming in on the raised drinking age bill.)

Miss Yu's twitchy-ass behavior took Lillian back to her high school days - trying to escape the building without running into Mr. Dixler and getting a shakedown about that overdue history report. _Who the fuck're you hiding from, Miss Yu?_

A couple blocks from Dawnwood Park, Miss Yumi took an odd left turn that lead them into a ritzy district for boutiques and restaurants. Lillian caught her staring at the menu signboard outside of _Vinnie's_ , one of the fancy-ass Italian eateries. After a few minutes deliberation, Miss Yu walked in.

_Gotcha now, bitch!_ Treating herself to pricy Italian cuisine? Ha! Lillian waited an agonizing five minutes, then crept towards the door with her camera phone charged. _I'll snap a pic with you sampling the wine menu, then you're toast._

Lillian's stealthy entrance got badly shot down by the front door chimes. That, and bumping into the trenchcoated woman waiting for her in the front foyer. Lillian looked up. Miss Yumi looked down and flashed a grin.

Behind the front desk, the red-vested maitre d' cleared his throat. "Your number two, madam?"

"You got it, Charlie. Exactly who I was waiting for." Miss Yumi's grin took on an extra level of smug. "Hey, Lilly Pie. Wanna talk?"

* * *

Charlie lead them to a private booth at the back, hidden by potted ferns and a folding screen. Lillian's skin crawled, imagining all the shady monster deals that'd taken place here. Underneath her shabby baseball cap and coat, Miss Yu had dressed for the venue - a snug wool sweater in hot red and a tight-ass pencil skirt. Lillian yanked off her beanie but Aiko raised a hand when she began unzipping her jacket.

"Whoa, this is a _nice_ place, kiddo. Tube tops and corsets get served in the back alley."

"Eff off, you're not my mom." And just to spite the bitch, Lillian peeled her jacket half-open, enough to flash the passing waiters some cleavage and her boob tattoo. "So, come here often?"

"Not for ages. Nice spot, though. They bring you breadsticks right away, so if you hem over the menu you can score a free meal and run."

"Hmph."

"You know you stick out like a sore thumb, right? All black and reading preppy teen magazines? Not to mention the goggles. Had you pegged twenty blocks ago."

Lillian took a swig of water and slammed the glass down. Her every move seemed to amuse Miss Yu. "So, I thought you had work."

Lillian shrugged. "I decided to ditch. I'm just that badass."

"Wow, what would Zoey say? You not paying your fair share to the rent and utilities?"

"I dunno. What'd she say about you? Bet she'd love to know where you're spending all our cash."

Miss Yu, to her credit, kept a mean poker face. She smiled and stared, she held back a snicker and then she broke down laughing! A merry, table-slapping "you got me" guffaw if Lillian had ever heard one. Chuckles depleted, Miss Yu shook her head and sighed.

"You really hate me, don't you, Lilly Pie?"

'Hate' didn't do her feelings justice. "Like, I'd rather move back in with my mom than spend another day with you."

"Ouch, harsh. Haven't we had some good times, though? I showed you all those cool 'oldies' bands; we kicked ass playing all that D'nD. ... No? Well, I know Zoey's been having a good time."

"Gag me."

"You know, you're welcome to join us."

Lillian nearly choked. "What? What the eff?"

Aiko sipped at her water, making her sweat it out.

"I said, you're welcome to join us. You, me, Zoey - _ménage a trois?_ "

"Bitch, cut this shit out. I'm getting way sick of you perving on my ass like this."

"Lil, it's called flirting. Poking at someone, catching their attention? Don't tell me the grade school boys never yanked on your handlebars."

"Handle-what?"

"Pigtails. Sorry, I meant pigtails."

Lillian scoffed but Aiko kept going, her tone totally manner-of-fact.

"I'm serious. I really wanna get in bed with you. I think we'd be good together. I've always had this fantasy about taming a bratty student, and I could totally play the mommy type for you."

"Mommy type?"

"You've got a lot of hang ups about your parents, Lilly Pie. I could help. Slap me, push me down and peg me; put your hands around my throat and squeeze. I can take it. Or maybe you're aching for that discipline mommy and daddy never gave you. Either way, I'm down to fuck."

The way she said it all so casually sent a creeping shudder down Lillian's spine. The unease only redoubled when she felt a light pressure on her shin.

Aiko's foot had slipped out of her ratty sneaker. Her bare toes slid up and down Lillian's pant leg - stroking, teasing, promising.

Lillian jerked away.

"Aww, don't be a sourpuss, Lilly Pie. Besides, with all the bitch face you've throwing around, you seriously need a good lay."

"Like, I don't -"

"No, just stop." The sole of Aiko's foot shoved down hard on her shins. Lillian pushed back but the older woman leveraged her weight, pinning her legs in place. She _would_ listen.

"Don't think I haven't seen your cell phone. You don't hide the screen nearly as well as you think. All those hours pouring over Agent Z. She's pretty damn hot, isn't she?"

The ball of Aiko's foot rubbed along her shin, massaging in the _pretty damn hot_ suggestion. Above the table, Lillian fixed a scowl but deep below her heart was thumping, her skin trembling as Miss Yu worked her magic up and down her legs.

"Like, I dunno."

Miss Yu scoffed back. " _Like, I dunno_. Why not find out, get it out of your system?"

Asian toes drifted upward, circling Lillian's knee. Lillian grit her teeth.

"I'm not jumping in the sack with an old grandma like you."

Aiko shrugged. "Your loss. How about just you and Zoey, then?"

Lillian gasped. Smiling at the newly discovered sweet spot, Aiko circled her big toe over Lillian kneecap like she was working her clit. Lillian found herself growing short of breath.

"I could talk to Zoey. She wouldn't say no if it's from me."

"And like, what do you get out of it?"

Aiko shrugged. "We're coven sisters. We look out for each other."

Zoey's mantra, totally twisted. If not for the heat spreading through her legs, Lillian would have barfed.

"Look, think what you want, I just don't want my roommate creeping behind my back, hating me. I like hanging with you girls. Think of it as a peace offering. And -" Miss Yu narrowed her eyes, "-It'd be frickin hot if you'd let me watch."

Lillian nearly retched.

"No? Didn't think so. Hey, I'm down to take a walk while you girls fuck. Whaddya say? A night in the sack with Zoey Greene? We could make it a regular thing, y'know. Fridays or every other day, she's all yours."

Miss Yu's toes groped and pawed up her knee; it was getting hard to resist. Lillian clenched her teeth as that bare foot slipped between her knees, as those toenails dragged along her thigh in all the right ways.

"And Suki?"

It was almost painful how that foot stopped dead. Miss Yumi stared at her, genuinely confused.

"What about Suki?"

"You talk with her too? Let her in on the Zoey action?"

Aiko's foot retreated.

"You're kidding, right? I swear, the way she stinks to high hell, it's like that girl's on a non-stop period."

"You're the one who stinks, spending our cash! You're up to something and I'm gonna find out."

"Lillian, you stick out like a sore thumb with all that black. Follow me all you want. I'll spot you and take you on a tour of Glenberry's adult toy shops."

Miss Yumi finished her water, then reached over and helped herself to Lillian's glass, leaving a nice and sticky lip imprint on the rim. She pushed it back in offering.

"But join me for a little pillow talk, and I might share."

She was up and out of the restaurant before the waiter could even object. Lillian collapsed on the table, quivering. A feather touch would push her over the edge.

She needed a cold shower, fast.

* * *

At the apartment, Suki had also collapsed - into the melancholy of heartache. The chubby weeb flopped back on Lillian's bed, gazing at her flip phone gallery.

_There's senpai and me on campus... there's senpai and me at the pride parade... and there's senpai and me running from the baka barista at the Nutmeg café..._

Suki reached for another handful of chocolate chips to choke down the bittersweet memories. Lillian-chan's room really was the perfect place for her to hide. Dark and moody and shelved with monsters, Suki felt like she'd shrunk down and crawled inside her own miserable heart.

A glutton for punishment, Suki opened up a very special and secure text file - _NSFW RP with Senpai -_ scrolling through a story of passion and acceptance she'd long ago written with Zoey.

**=BlakePanzer0=** **  
** _Hey._ _  
I feel so good tonight._

**=Cera_Bella=** **  
** _lol_ _  
You made **me** feel good, sensei._

Sarah reached for another handful of chips, only to find her bowl empty. Sighing, she began the lonely march to the kitchen cupboards to restock.

"Senpai?"

"Oh, Suki." Zoey was hunkered down at the dining table, breathing sharply. "I um, haven't really seen you since-"

"-since we played D'nD, I know." Suki fidgeted. "Lillian's letting me sleep on her floor. She brings me supper so I don't have to go out."

"I see." Zoey winced, and the sore shifting on her seat did not go unnoticed.

"Senpai, are you sitting on a bag of frozen peas?"

Zoey feigned surprise at the smooshed bag of Green Giant veggies under her seat. "Huh? Oh you mean this? Well I'm… defrosting dinner for tonight?"

"With your bum?"

"I just -"

Zoey tried to stand but a sharp spasm forced her butt down, back onto the soothing cold. Seeing her senpai's distress shifted Suki into automatic 'tend and comfort' mode. She powered over to the freezer and, after a bit of banging with a mallet, returned with a plastic baggie of crushed ice. Zoey gladly accepted the fresh pack and tucked it under her seat.

"Thank you. Last night, things with Miss Alice got … intense."

"Senpai, your wrists!" Suki nabbed her forearm, careful not to touch the red, cuff-like marks below her hands. "Did Yumi-san do this to you?"

"It's all consensual, Suki. She asked and I consented. I just -" another flinch, "I'm still working on my stamina."

Suki fetched another bag of ice, dabbing it so carefully to Zoey's wrist. Her senpai shuddered with relief, shrinking down like a worn-out balloon. Suki bit back a sniffle.

"This isn't right, senpai. When we first met and you made love to me, it was… well, gentle."

A sudden migraine made Zoey groan and massage her weary head. "Suki, we wrote a back-and-forth instant message roleplay and it got a bit erotic, okay? That was just make-believe!"

Suki breathed deeply.

"... our feelings were real."

Senpai looked away, probably ashamed of the hang-dog look on her kouhai's face.

"Well... what I have with Aiko is real. And sometimes… reality can be rough."

"It doesn't have to be."

"Unbelievable. Suki, I've found my soulmate. Can't you be a little happy for me?"

"I want you to be happy, senpai. I just -"

The creak and slam of the front door cut off that thought. "Hey, Doll! Miss me?"

Aiko's sneakers padded across the hardwood floor to the kitchen. Hugging Zoey from behind and nibbling her ear, the ex-teacher completely missed the pained wince when her hand started groping the black girl's ass.

"4 PM, doll. You hungry? Cause I'm craving dark chocolate."

Zoey looked into Suki's eyes and, for an instant, her red and blue orbs looked ready to crack. Then the tug on Zoey's leash called her back to obedience. "Y-yes, Miss Alice."

Suki would have none of it. " _Yame nasai!_ Stop it! Can't you see she's tired?"

"Hey, Suki! Uh, sorry about the other night. Think you can grab us some snacks? _Arigato_!"

Instead, Suki grabbed her senpai by the hand, plopping an ice bag atop her dreads. "Zoey's got a fever. I just checked. Until she's better, she's getting rest!"

Dragging Zoey along, she shoved her into the hall closet and towards Yumi-san's long-neglected sleeping roll. Senpai's face flashed with surprise, then relief before the door slammed shut.

Turning around, Yumi-san had flopped on the couch to work on her crossword puzzles. Zoey's fake sickness didn't seem to phase her a bit.

Suki grit her teeth. Her palms squeezed.

* * *

Lillian-chan stumbled in not long after and Suki swooped on her like limited print BL doujinshi at Comicon.

"I thought you were following her! What did you find?"

Still in a daze, Lillian shrugged. "Zip."

" _Anta baka?_ That's not good enough, Lillian! Senpai's hurting."

"Will you get off my back? I don't see you doing anything to help! Besides, Miss Yu's jumpy like a hawk out there. She spotted me from blocks away! Like, no way in hell I can tail her. She totally knows!"

Suki paced the floor, thinking it over.

"So... we just need to get someone she doesn't know."

"Like, I guess."

Suki digested that information, a dark shadow overtaking her face.

"So it's come to this..."

She gave a little hiccup. Then a snort. And for a second, her shoulders seemed to heave in a sob that was quickly swallowed by a mad, aristocratic cackle.

"Ohh-ho-ho-ho!"

Lillian followed as Suki stormed into to her pink bedroom. With one hand she was speed-dialing a contact; the other rooted through her closet.

" _Moshi moshi?_ Sherri-san? Can you see me... perfecto, I'll be there right away!" Suki killed the call and tilted her head at Lillian. The goth girl jumped at her grim, dead-eyed stare.

"I won't be coming home tonight."

"Like, what're you gonna do?"

Suki ignored her. She was a woman on a mission, rifling through the back closet for her secret weapon. Finally, she found her target, seizing and dusting off a thin black book. Her grin stretched wide and dark.

_"Fufufu..._ To think a _baka_ like Yumi-san could push me this far! Well, challenge accepted, Aiko! And I won't hold anything back!"

Suki hunched her shoulders, chuckling maniacally as her right hand reached across her face to clutch her weeping left eye, fingers squeezing to contain the dark tempest of emotions. Against her chest, Suki's free hand clutched a thin, black hardcover reading _Central High Yearbook_.

"Get ready! Suki-sama's gonna show you all her final form!"

* * *

At the University of Glenberry Department of Mathematics, a tall, bodybuilding redhead shook her head as she spoke into her phone.

"I'm really sorry but I can't give out student information like that. ... No, not even if you were a family member. ... I see... have you tried -? ... uh huh. ... Yeah, I wouldn't want to involve the cops either."

Tala Stone sighed, turning to face the joyful Christmas lights outside her window.

"Look, I can't share her address but... if I were to, say, drop off a paper for a student and someone happened to be following me, well... I guess you could figure out exactly where Zoey Greene lives, right?"

Tala listened and smiled. "Nah, I'm just doing my job. The hard part is gonna be all up to you."


	14. Dawn of the Final Day

December 21st, the winter solstice.

The boss had been hyping this day since November - a secret holiday all to themselves, a day for shrugging off all the crap and darkness of the last year, a day when light and hope returned. Lillian, despite her better instincts, had found herself getting pumped. She’d fall asleep imagining Zoey’s excited face after she unwrapped her magic rock.

But Lillian woke that grim December morning feeling sick to her stomach. _Like, this is it._ The day she put her all-or-nothing gamble into play. Either she and Suki got rid of Miss Yumi or they started looking at the 'For Rent' listings.

The day teetered on the edge of a knife.

"Suki still asleep in your room?" Zoey asked over breakfast.

"Hm? Oh yeah. Totally up till three in the morning reading her manga. Probably gonna sleep all day."

"But it's the solstice..." Zoey's disappointment came as a relief. _She hasn't totally forgotten us._

Going by looks alone, her friend was an absolute shell of herself: that kooky high ponytail, that pink, pleated tartan and a lavender tee declaring her _Strawberry Milk._ And of course, that frickin' leash. Miss Yu couldn't go five minutes without giving it a little tug. She'd raise a piece of toast, wait for Zoey to bite down on the end, then chomp it up, edging closer and closer to Zoey's waiting lips.

She always pulled back, though. The crusts were for Zoey to swallow. Lillian had seen enough.

"Like, I'm gonna see how Suki's doing. Maybe chill in my room a bit."

Of course, the plate of toast Lillian took with her was a sham, a second breakfast for herself. Suki _had_ come home late last night but the weeb had ducked out at dawn to bait their trap. _Thanks a bunch for giving me the fun part._ Lillian's job was to sit and wait.

 _Ugh, kill me, already!_ Waiting in her room while Aiko left for her walk. Waiting on the couch for the bitch to return, smug and content. Waiting in her room again for her phone to buzz.

_C'mon, girl! What's the freakin' hold up?_

But finally, the electronic 'ding' chimed like an angel choir. Lillian sped through the message, eyes widening with every photo transferred to her inbox. "Holy shit..."

Lillian steadied herself with two, three deep breaths. She found her center. Then she carefully exhaled all hope and excitement.

It was time to take Miss Yu up on her offer.

* * *

She found Zoey and Miss Yu lounging on the couch. Or rather, she found them lounging in Miss Yu's private pigsty. The ashtray was piled up with smokes, the coffee table crowded with beer cans. The floor was littered with her D'nD books and assorted dice. Miss Yu had been rolling a fresh character sheet but had lost interest in favor of a good ol' poker game with her doll.

Zoey laid down her hand - "Pair of eights!" Miss Yu grinned as she slapped down her three of a kind. The two had been betting chips (literally) and Zoey looked nervously at her empty bowl of potato crisps. "Umm..."

"We could always make it strip poker," Miss Yu grinned. Her hands were already grabbing at the hem of Zoey's tee.

"Not here," Zoey winced but Aiko's hand on her leash didn't give her far to run. Lillian had to bite her tongue as she watched the pervy teacher force Zoey’s shirt up, as her friend whimpered and tried to hide her bra.

Quietly, meekly, Lillian approached. "Hey, Miss Yu?"

Aiko's hands didn't skip a beat. "Lilly Pie, perfect timing! Wanna lift Zoey's arms for me? This doll owes me a shirt!"

"Like, I kinda wanted to talk with you. About what you said the other day?"

Now she had Aiko's undivided attention. "Oh-ho-ho! Decided to come around, huh?"

Aiko kicked back on the couch and Zoey exhaled, grateful for her slight reprieve, only yelp when Miss Yumi bundled an arm around her shoulder and hugged the witch to her side. Her free hand wound Zoey's leash around her palm – three times, four times, cutting off the slack.

"Sit tight, Doll. Oh, you're gonna love this! You want me to start off, Lillian?"

"Like, I was kinda hoping I could explain."

Miss Yu nodded along. The floor was all hers.

Lillian steadied herself with another deep breath. Her hands fidgeted behind her back, fiddling with the pockets of her black jeans. Aiko rubbed Zoey's back, so eager to begin. The young witch looked between them both, utterly lost.

Aiko's balloon high popped when Lillian flicked a small business card at Zoey "Like, I found that in the grocery bags the other day."

Zoey scanned the Bible verse and the local area phone number. "Lil, this is from the Sally Ann."

"No duh! Zoey, all this food she's been bringing home? She ain't buying it. She's picking it up at the food bank."

Miss Yumi's face blanched but Zoey was still processing. "Lil, the food bank is for people experiencing food insecurity. Why would they -?"

"Oh, I dunno. Wrap her up in that crappy trenchcoat, mess up her hair - she looks plenty homeless 'n hungry t'me. I called them, Zoey. She's got herself registered for a family account: Aiko Yumi, single mother of three."

Zoey turned to her lover, whose eyes had gone wide. "Aiko?"

The ex-teacher offered up a nervous laugh. "Well, it's a food bank! They've got tons of free shit to give away, right?"

"Aiko, when I was little, my mother had to line up at the food bank! Do you know how tight their supplies get around the holidays?"

"Right, right! That was a bad joke, Doll." A bead of sweat trickled down her forehead. "But, you believe her? Are you sure? I mean, the grocery jar, you've seen it empty; I've been spending that money -"

"More like blowing that money," Lillian barked. "Wanna know what she's doing with all our cash?"

"Doll, why don't we take a walk?" Aiko made to stand but found herself pinned to the spot. Zoey's leash, the handle she'd wound around her hand like athletic tape! She couldn't unwind it!

Zoey bade her sit. "Lillian, what're you -?"

"She's gambling it away."

"Doll, she's talking crazy!" The leash, the leash - Aiko couldn't unwind it fast enough! "I’m banned from the casino! Those friends I told you about? The ones who tried to control me? They put me on the 'no-admittance' list! I couldn't get in there even if I tried."

"Yeah, we figured out that part," Lillian nodded. "But you're a clever bitch, ain't ya, teach? And the casino ain't the only game in town."

Two loops, one loop, free! Aiko tried to stand but Lillian barred her path. Zoey nabbed her wrist, made her sit down. "Aiko, what's she talking about?"

Lillian whipped out her phone, opened the photo gallery and passed it to Zoey. The witch kept one hand around an ever-squirming Aiko. They would look at this together.

Zoey started off calmly enough but as she scrolled though the slideshow, her jaw unhinged.

Aiko in her trenchcoat, speed-walking through the gate of an outdoor arena. In the upper corner, a sign with wooden horse and a partial word: -TRACK. Aiko in the trackside seats, scanning the passing horses and jockeys. Aiko lining up at the ticket booth to place a bet. Aiko hollering in the stands for the horse to "move yer bloomin' arse!" Aiko gnashing her teeth and ripping up her ticket after another failed bet.

"Zoe, she's spending our grocery money at the Dawnwood racetrack. She's playing the ponies."

The cell phone tumbled from Zoey's hand. "Aiko -"

"And it's not like she's read up on horses or whatever! She just picks whichever stud has the catchiest name! Look - this race? She bet 100 bucks on NoneTheBudweiser. After that? $50 on SakeToMe, $20 on GoingLabatty! She's picking the freakin' beer horses!"

Zoey still hadn’t closed her jaw. She looked at the photos. She looked at Aiko. The room was stone silent but no one seemed to hear the creak of the front door or the soft pad of sandals in the foyer, tiptoeing closer. Aiko stammered, she shook; she scrambled to invent a defense.

"Aiko -"

“Doll, let me-"

"Aiko, where do I even start? A food bank? You were taking resources allocated for marginalized people? Misrepresenting us as a family experiencing food insecurity?"

"Um -"

"And you took our money for... for gambling? Horse racing? I told you - leftover money gets allocated to our savings jar and -" Zoey stood, horrified. "Lillian, the other jars!"

The goth girl raised a hand. "Chill, rent and utilities’re fine. Counted them myself. But she started skimming off the savings jar."

"Aiko, that money was for our summer trip to Tokyo! I told you all about it in bed that night, remember?"

"I um, may have dozed off..."

The lost opportunities flashed through Zoey's eyes. "Lillian was going to see Babymetal in concert! Suki was going to visit Akihabara; I was going to research all the major Shinto shrines!"

Aiko's eyes darted faster, her mind growing desperate. "These... these pics are shopped! No way in hell that's me, Doll! She pasted my head onto someone else!"

"Aiko, the photo details say they were taken this morning. And Lillian's been here all day."

Footsteps padded closer. Aiko spun on Lillian.

"There's no way in hell you could've taken these pictures: you weren't there! I was watching for you! Watching for your shitty pigtails, watching for Suki's pukey-pink dresses! So how -?"

Aiko glanced to the foyer. "Is _anyone_ gonna say something about the fat girl who just wandered into our apartment? Kid, you lost?"

 _Fat girl?_ Zoey scanned the timid stranger, starting at the girl's feet, bumpy toes shoved into tacky sandals. Torn jeans struggled to hold the pear-shaped girl's wide thighs and sagging behind. She dressed like the quintessential nerd - ripped jeans, an open-buttoned flannel jacket and a stained white tee blaring _Get in the Robot, Shinji!_

She was less a girl and more a plump mouse, terrified of being discovered by a bullying cat. Her wallflower hair was a shock of frizzy red, trailing down to her hips and falling over her face like a veil. Even after parting her bangs, it took Zoey a moment to register the chalky face, dotted with freckles and balancing nerdy black glasses on her small nose.

While the others puzzled, Lillian marched over to the freckle-snouted ginger and clapped her on the back like they were besties.

"Like, here's the thing, Miss Yu: we knew how totally paranoid you'd be out there; that you'd be watching for me and Suki. So I didn't tail you, and neither did Suki."

The ginger girl found the courage for a small wave. "H-hi, I’m… my name is Sarah."

  


"I don't believe it... You called up an old friend to tail me?"

"Not exactly," Lillian grinned. The new girl, once timid, now began to laugh - a delicious, villainous _ufufufu_ laugh cribbed from the darkest anime anti-heroes. Miss Yu paled.

"No... Don’t tell me-"

" _Hisashiburi_ , Yumi-san." The ginger whipped off her glasses, flashing crafty violet eyes. She jerked a thumb at her chest. "You expected some random nobody but it was me, Suki!"

Miss Yumi dropped to her knees. "Y-you were sitting across from me on the bus... all that time..."

"Hai! And you didn't realize a thing! All according to _keikaku!"_

Lillian translated. _"_ Like, _keikaku_ means 'plan'."

Aiko lost it, clawing at her hair, scrabbling for a way out when none existed. Oh, what Lillian would have given to be able to replay the moment forever, to slow time and enjoy Miss Yu's despair, fame-by-frame!

Zoey's quiet whisper cut through the moment of victory. "Suki?"

"S-senpai!" All joy immediately drained from the pasty ginger girl. She cowered, hiding her face behind her frizzy bangs. "D-don't look at me, senpai. _Onegai_!"

"Suki?" Zoey crept closer, startled and horrified. Her hands cupped the ginger girl's face, parting bangs like she was scraping sand from a buried treasure. "What did you-?"

"We had to show you all the bad stuff Yumi-san was doing, senpai. So I called my hairdresser, I scrubbed off my spray-tan and make-up and... Well, now I'm Sarah again. This is the real me."

"Oh, Suki..." Eyes welling over, Zoey hugged her friend tightly. Down on the floor, Miss Yumi gave a bitter laugh.

"I don't believe it. Conned by a fat-ass white girl."

"Aiko, enough!" Zoey bristled with a feminist fury that had laid dormant too long. "Ever since you came here, you've been nothing but rude to Sarah! She's in love with your people's culture and you've been the most awful of gatekeepers!"

"But she's -"

"You've also been making Lillian feel extremely unsafe and triggered with all your innuendo!"

"Listen, Doll-"

" _Zoey!_ I identify as Zoey! This isn't some make-believe game! Aiko... you took our money, squandered it-"

"Hey, I didn't lose it all; anything I won went straight back to this place! Where d'ya think I got the money to buy you all those new clothes?"

"Like, you mean those dollar store soft girl clothes you totally bought on clearance?"

"For twenty dollars, desu?"

"Aiko, what happened to the hundreds we had?"

Miss Yu had no answer. Zoey clutched her head. "Aiko... you need to leave."

"Kiddo -"

"I only ever wanted you to be honest with me and you can't even do that!"

Miss Yumi slumped to the floor, defeated. "But... where am I supposed to go?"

The question lingered silently.

"Ooh!" Sarah waved her hand. "That reminds me, I passed some nice ladies in the lobby looking for our apartment number. I kinda brought them up and asked them to wait in the hall. They said they were friends of Yumi-san."

Aiko gulped. “Friends?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork of Sarah Stevens is by CreativeWizKid!
> 
> http://creativewizardkid.tumblr.com


	15. The Deepest Cut

The woman entered like ghosts from a Charles Dickens' novel - past, present and future, each one eating away at Aiko's confidence, each one causing her to cower a little further into a ball of frayed nerves.

First came a busty, blonde cougar, bobbing in a denim jacket and leopard print top. Zoey gasped. "Misty Peaks?" Aiko's throat tightened.

"J-Jessie!"

"Hey, hon. Been a while."

"But... How'd you -?"

"Mm? Oh, a little birdie told us you were hanging out with a certain student. We asked around the university for directions. That beefy Amazon teaching your classes was more than helpful."

Aiko forced a small laugh. "Haha, fancy that. Um, work is good?"

"Hon, I've been working overtime. _Someone's_ had to put up the rent on that room we found for you."

Aiko gulped.

Next to march in was a black woman with a curly afro, cutting a commanding figure with her gray designer jacket and posh scarf. Zoey's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the take-charge, independent woman. _T'Challetta?_ Was this her gender-swapped Black Panther fanfic OC come to life?

"Lola! Um, how was that Caribbean tennis tournament?"

"Oh, you mean the tournament I backed out of so I could attend AA meetings with my struggling friend? Peachy."

"I... I can explain!"

"Hon, how 'bout you explain it to all of us?"

Aiko's pupils shrunk to terrified pinpricks. "No... Not her..." Lillian glanced to the doorway, delighted to meet the badass bitch who could reduce Aiko to such a whimpering mess.

The final friend was kind of a letdown: a tall Indian woman with short, wavy hair and a festive green sari. She looked and moved like an origami figure - beautiful and refined but libel to crumple at the slightest pressure. And yet Aiko shrunk from the paper princess like a cowardly, helpless rock in a children's hand game. Her name came out in a terrified stammer:

"B-B-Beli?"

"Aiko!" The Indian woman threw her arms around her long-lost friend. "Aiko we were so worried about you!"

Aiko cringed like a vampire before the cross. "H-hey, Beli. Has it really been that long?"

"Since the start of the month! You didn't answer our e-mails, you never came back to your room!"

"Beli thought you'd been kidnapped," Jessie added.

"Well how could I not worry? You disappear the same morning the papers start reporting about these... these pagan fanatics roaming the streets and bothering churches! I thought you'd been kidnapped by some strange cult!"

Lillian and Sarah stepped in to settle the record. "Whoa, like, we totally didn't kidnap nobody!"

"Hai! And we're a coven, not a cult, desu!"

The three older woman took their first good look at Aiko's 'companions' - a surly, bratty, pigtailed teen who's every mannerism screamed "Fuck you, mom!" A disheveled, sweat-stained ginger whose otaku outfit made Lola's inner fashionista weep, and a black girl dressed for a student-teacher porno with a doggy leash around her neck.

The three older woman swiveled their eyes to Aiko for an explanation. "Umm... girls, meet Lillian, Suki and Zoey. They're um... my new roommates?"

_"Roommates?"_

Sensing an angle of attack, Sarah and Lillian joined the fray. " _Chotto mate,_ we're not just roommates! We're coven sisters! Together, we're _mahou shoujo_ who worship the All-Mother, Hecate!"

"Like, totally! In fact, we're more than just sisters!" She jerked a thumb at Zoey. "Those two are totally bangin'!"

"Banging?" Lola exclaimed. Beli yelped and Jessie massaged her temple. "Christ, not this again."

"Hon, is she even legal? You asked for ID first, right?"

" _Aiko!"_ Beli's hands gripped her hair. "Please don't tell me she's another of your students!"

"Hell yeah!" Lillian chirped. "Miss Yu taught her physics at the U of G."

"B-Beli, you don't get it! S-she came onto me! They took me home with them, they gave me booze! I'm the victim here!"

"Aiko, enough!" With but a word, the Indian woman commanded silence. Aiko shut up, the squabbling women stopped. Lillian had never even met this woman and even she understood that terrible things would happen to the person who dared speak out of turn.

_Holy crap, she's like Miss Yu's mom!_

Miss Beli inhaled deeply, drawing in all her resentment and frustration into a locked box deep within her mind. When her eyes opened, the concentrated glare made Lillian cower and clench her ass - two fuchsia orbs channeling pure parental authority.

"Aiko, you need to come with us. It's time to go home."

"Yeah... okay..."

* * *

The friends split into teams: Jessie and Lola accompanied a scolded Aiko as she trudged about the loft, bagging her clothing and possessions, while Miss Beli sat the trio on the couch and made them explain everything to her.

"Let me see if I understand: you three girls found Aiko... 'foraging'? In a back alley dumpster? And you brought her home with you?"

"She told us about you people," Zoey muttered. (Lillian freaked. _Girl, got a death wish?)_ "About how you stood by while she sold her possessions and was booted from her apartment, how you tried to force your mainstream hobbies onto her; how you tried to manipulate her into being a good little capitalist drone."

"Miss... Zoey, was it?" The leash was clearly disturbing the older woman. "I need to be perfectly honest with you: Aiko has addiction issues. With alcohol, with drugs; she was gambling away her every paycheque. My friends and I, we didn't realize it but she was coming to each of us, asking to borrow small amounts so she could 'pay her bills'. Every dollar we lent ended up spent on beer or card games."

Just recounting the memories left Miss Beli exhausted. "After the university dismissed her, Aiko came to us in tears, begging for help. So we took control of her finances, helped her to sell her old place; set her up in low income housing unit."

"Like, hold the phone. I totally thought Miss Yu was homeless 'n shit."

Beli pursed her lips. "Did she ever actually _say_ she was homeless?"

Lillian blinked. "Umm..."

The Indian woman began pacing. "And you just brought her into your home? You didn't bother checking with social services? Asking the police about a missing person?"

Zoey coughed. "Well, you see -"

"You gave her alcohol and cigarettes? You let her play gambling games with dice? You just handed money over to her? Let her go to the racetrack unsupervised?"

Sarah wrung her hands. " _Eto..._ "

Beli pinched the bridge of her nose. "December 2nd. She'd been sober a whole month; we even got her to try nicotine patches. We were taking her out to small gatherings - showing her she could enjoy herself at sports or yoga or baking without spending money; that she could enjoy herself with _people her own age_!"

Zoey ducked her head.

"December 2nd. We had Aiko set up for a job interview at a book store. I was _so sure_ this would be where things turned around for her; that the Aiko Yumi who was my friend would be back on her feet in time for Christmas..."

Miss Beli flashed her mom-glare again. "And then you three came along..."

Beli Lapran stared at them, long and hard. She wrung her hands, trying to restrain her resentment, her anger - all those impolite feeling she'd willed down deep inside, all those not-so-niceties that now threatened to boil over.

Lillian whimpered. Under Zoey's goggles, Aiko had appeared as darkness, a maw of black tentacles. Were she to slip on the lenses now, Lillian swore a blast of holy light would scorch her eyeballs down to the sockets. Miss Beli was the hallowed angel and they were the demon scum. Miss Beli was the towering magnifying glass and they were the lowly ants. Zoey shut her eyes, Sarah squeaked, Lillian clutched at both their hands.

But the terror passed. The Indian saint sucked in her hurt, bottled it deep and stoppered the lid. She exhaled.

"I'm so sorry for everything my friend put you through. Thank you for keeping her off the streets."

Then she turned and walked away.

The trio sat up. They blinked, puzzled at their continued existence. Sarah scratched her head in thought.

"Ano, Lillian?"

"Yeah?"

"... Are we the baddies?"

* * *

Bundled one last time in her shabby trenchcoat, Aiko was set to leave. Jessie carried her bags out the door while the other friends held Aiko's hands. Whether for comfort or to keep her from bolting, Lillian couldn't be sure.

There were no words exchanged at the door, no farewells, no apologies. Lillian had been stoked to flip two middle fingers, wave off Miss Yu with a big "eff you" but the silence reigned. Aiko kept her head down, eyes on the floor.

Zoey watched from the doorway as Aiko was escorted into the elevator.

Lillian had been watching her friend carefully, and the signs were all there - the fidgeting, the hand-wringing; the glassy eyes. Sarah startled when Zoey bolted for the stairwell, but as a fellow addict, Lillian only shook her head in sympathy. Sometimes, you just needed that last hit.

Lola's sleek sports car was parked out front in the apartment's loading zone. The black woman had taken the driver's seat, Jessie was loading the trunk and Beli was distracted with a phone call. The women all startled when Zoey ran up and tackle-hugged her Miss Alice, but none were more surprised than Aiko.

"Whoa, kiddo!" The ex-teacher raised her hands in self-defense - _she started it! She hugged me!_ Beli frowned her disapproval but stepped away to allow them this last goodbye.

"I'm sorry," Zoey wept. "I'm sorry it came to this." She stepped back but kept Aiko's hands in her own. "I can come visit you, right? You'll call me?"

Aiko winced as she consulted with her disapproving friends. "That... might not be a great idea. At least not for a while." She paused. "Hey, chin up, Doll. Not the end of the world."

"But we'll see each other again, right?"

"Heck, yeah!" Aiko gave a jolly laugh. "I mean, what's better than one last steamy hook up? We're fuck buddies forever, right?"

Sarah gasped. Zoey drew back, eyes wide.

"... fuck buddies?"

_Oh shit,_ Lillian cursed. Grinning far too casually, Aiko blathered on.

"Of course! Any time you need some discipline from Miss Alice, you call me up! And if you're up for some real kinky shit, well-"

_Crack!_ The slap from Zoey's palm sent Miss Yumi's head spinning. Her glasses bounced and clattered down the sidewalk.

" _Fuck buddies?"_ Zoey snatched at her ponytailed dreads, at the collar around her neck. "You - you think I did this to myself for a _fuck buddy_?"

Aiko rubbed her jaw, still in the dark. "Well, yeah. What, did you think we were dating?" A cold look of horror. "Mother of shit, were you a virgin?"

Zoey's answered with a bodycheck that crumpled Aiko against the car. Kicking, punching, scratching - Lillian and Sarah had to seize Zoey under the shoulders to keep her from beating the ever-loving shit out of Miss Yu. On the adult side, Jessie and Beli raced to lift their bloodied friend off the sidewalk. The Indian woman sighed.

"Honestly, Aiko..."

"Whaff?" the ex-teacher sputtered through a bloodied nose. "Dow wath I supposeff to -?" she spat, "I mean, she's a camwhore! She sluts it up for everybody!"

Beli shot a finger at the car door. "Aiko Yumi! Inside, now!"

"-you! I'll curse you!" Zoey screamed and thrashed against the arms of her friends. "I'll call out your toxic ass until this whole country cancels you, you two-faced, lying bitch! I'll summon every last incel subscribed to my site to doxx you, you slimy, slut-shaming -"

The sports car drove off, leaving Zoey to collapse and scream.

* * *

When they finally persuaded Zoey back into the apartment, their friend was a heaving, sobbing bundle of nerves. Lillian and Sarah glanced between each other, wondering what to say. If there _was_ anything they could say.

Lillian tried first. "I mean... no big deal, right? You've flashed your vag for tons of bros online! R-right, Suki?"

"H-hai, Lillian! Remember, senpai? You told us virginity is just an artificial construct invented by the patriarchy to oppress women! It's not even real."

"My _memories_ are real!" Zoey screamed through her tears. "My _feelings_ are real!"

She had no more words. Zoey ran for her bedroom and slammed the door. A random playlist of screamer rock did its best to drown out her sobbing.

Sarah slumped onto the dining table. "Lillian..."

The goth just kept her eyes on the floor.

_Like, we won, right?_ They'd thrown out Miss Yu, exposed that lying, stealing piece of shit. This was everything they'd wanted, right? December 21st, the winter solstice. This was supposed to be their day to celebrate!

Instead, Lillian crashed on the couch, every bit as beaten and exhausted as Sarah.

"Shit..."


	16. Heart to Heart

By dinner time, Zoey still hadn't left her room. She'd shut off her screamer playlist - dead batteries, Lillian assumed - but that just left them cringing at Zoey's random bouts of sobbing. They tried knocking, they tried calling her name; Suki even sent a flurry of text messages but Zoey was too deep inside her pain to respond. Their friend was dead to the world.

Totally fed up with waiting, Lillian grabbed her keys and left to try tried something desperate.

"McDicks!" she hollered, slamming the door and rattling the greasy paper take-out bags like a stash of puppy kibble. Suki paled at the sight of the forbidden golden arches but Lillian carried on.

"Like, come 'n get it! Mm-mmh! I love me some soulless, assembly-line fast food by America's favorite corporate overlord!"

Suki glanced towards Zoey's room, half terrified their senpai would kick it down and shotgun them both for defiling the loft with the devil's food.

Nothing. Lillian cranked up the volume.

"Mmm, smells so good! Imma stick this Big Mac right in my mouth! I sure hope nobody comes and lectures me about my privilege!"

Still nothing. Lillian sighed and handed Suki her kid's meal. "Got ya the Pokémon toy."

"Thanks."

Thanks. Not _arigato_ but 'thanks'. "What's up with you? Like, did your weeb shit wash off with your spray tan or something, Suki?"

"Sarah," she corrected. "And I just don't feel very _genki_ \- I mean, very excited when Zoey's like this."

Lillian watched the chubby white girl hunch her shoulders and nibble at her burger, an orangey mouse trying to huddle and hide her body, making herself as small and discreet as possible. The timid pose sent Lillian on a flashback to her high school cafeteria.

"Like, this is how you looked in school, right?"

"Mhm. Why?"

"Nothing," she shrugged but Sarah's puzzled eyes forced her hand. "I just... you got picked on a lot, right?"

Sarah's posture stiffened as she embarked on her own trip down memory lane. Slowly, and with a sad resignation, the ginger girl nodded back.

"Mmh. I was No-Soul Sarah, Sarah Sucks-a-Lot. Most people just called me Moo-Cow."

"Ouch. At my school, you would've been a white whale."

The whales. Lillian had never done anything as crude as shoving the plus-size girls into lockers or bumping into them while they ate cafeteria soup, but she did slip them folded pieces of paper with lovingly drawn cartoon manatees. The sea cows would wail as their stubby flippers reached in vain for a far-off cheeseburger, the caption howling, _'Oh the Huge Manatee!'_

Back in the present, Lillian dodged Sarah's eyes with a pang of … regret? "Yeah, chicks like you got treated like crap."

"Makes sense. I'm pretty gross, huh?"

Again, that perfect acceptance! "Fuck that noise! You're awesome, Suk- or Sarah or whatever! I would kill to have an ass as fat as yours!"

Sarah looked away, flustered. Even Lillian had to admit it rang kinda hollow, coming all these years too late. _Time to switch._

Lillian jerked a thumb at Zoey's door. "So like, did you know the boss was still hanging onto her V-card?"

Sarah's frizzy locks shook negative. "I mean, I sometimes wondered how much... experience senpai had. Some of her scripts for our BL stories had some weird ideas about how wee-wees work but... well, no."

They slurped and chewed in silence. Lillian tried again.

"Mmh, this burger's totally awesome! Oh fuck, now I wanna go out and totally invest in the stock market!"

Zoey's door flew open. By the time their heads turned, their friend had already dashed into the bathroom, locking it shut. Lillian sighed.

"Guess a broken heart's still gotta piss."

They listened to the blast of the shower - probably Zoey scouring off all that nasty soft girl make-up. Then the _whoosh_ of the blow dryer - probably fluffing her dreads back into form. Next came the _r-r-rip_ of duct tape unwinding.

_Oookay?_

Ears perked like rabbits, Lillian and Sarah listened to the bracing, deep breath from the bathroom, then the _click-bzzzzz_ of an electric -

_Hold the phone._

"Suki, you ever shave your legs with an electric razor?"

"No, why?"

Behind the door, the _bzzzz_ took a lower tone as the whirring blades met and started chewing through thick, tangled-

Goth and weeaboo dashed as one, pounding on the door. "Zoey? Whatcha doin', Zoey?"

"Senpai? Open up, _onegai!_ "

 _Bzzzz-click._ It was done. Behind the door, thin legs shuffled into baggy clothing; the performer took a steadying breath before her big debut.

A lock click. A knob turn. The door swung back like a stage curtain and Lillian realized they'd come a hair too late.

"Zoey-senpai?"

 _No,_ Lillian shuddered, remembering Zoey's confession about her weeb and furry phases. _This ain't your senpai no more._ The coven sisters were witnessing the next evolution of Zoey Greene.

From cybergoth to soft girl to... a hip-hop artist? Zoey posed like a blinged out gangsta from a rap video: baggy jeans drooping off her chicken legs, a wife beater slung over her chest (rolls of duct tape bound her small breasts) and tons of cheap golden chains dangling from her neck. She hid her face behind aviator shades and a sideways baseball cap.

"Like... Zoey?"

"Naw, dawg. Y'all lookin' at the new hotness!" Zoey swaggered out hips first, as if led by an invisible string tied to her crotch. In a low, masculine drawl, she made her pimpalicious re-introduction.

"S'up ladies! Name's Joey. Baddest, wokest gangsta on the South side, yo yo! My pronouns be he/him, a'ight?"

"Zoey-senpai…"

"Bitch, please! It's Joey in the hiz-ouse. I'm a man, y'hear!" Finger guns flashed to her crotch, jeans bulging with half a dozen socks.

"What's down 'n dirty, bitches? Yo, did y'all get a load of that sweet Asian pussy I bagged? Tits for days, yo!"

"Zoey -"

" _Joey!_ " She straightened up, dropping the Ebonics. "Don't you get it? I'm transgender!"

"You're like, batshit crazy."

"Dirty transphobe! I'm a guy and I don't give two fucks about love! The only emotions I can feel are anger and boners! All I wanna do is score with chicks and add notches to my belt! Bitches can't hurt me! I'm the motherfuckin' patriarchy right here! Joey in the hiz-ouse!"

"Senpai..." Sarah took a step forward. Zoey startled back.

"I'm trans, Suki! _Ore wa Joey-kun!_ My pronouns are he -"

Sarah's reached for her hand. "Zoey-senpai, come back to us."

Lillian followed her lead and offered her own palm. "C'mon, boss bitch. You gonna fuckin' let Miss Yu beat you like this?"

"I-"

It was only for a second, but Zoey's sunglasses fell. For a second they could glimpse the red wounds circling her bloodshot eyes. Then 'Joey' shook off the momentary weakness and pushed her shades back up.

"Bitch, please! Any shorty that messes with me gets pimp-slapped by my woman-oppressing phallus! Hey, y'all know why they call me the elephant man?"

"Senpai, we're here for you."

"Joey don't need nobody! He - he -"

Zoey sputtered again, pulled away her shades so she could wipe her sobbing eyes.

"She hurt me, Suki… I thought she … I thought she -"

"Shh." Suki took Zoey's hand in her own. "It's all right, senpai. We're here for you."

Lillian nodded, patting her friend's shoulder. "Like, how 'bout we lose the crotch socks? And take off the friggin' hat?"

Zoey whimpered, clutching at her cap. "I can't."

"Sure you can, senpai."

"I can't," Zoey insisted, both hands shielding her head. Lillian's stomach sank. _She seriously didn't-_

Biting back the mother of all bad feelings, Lillian crept towards the bathroom door, steadying herself like a victim-to-be in a slasher film. She nudged the door open, just a crack, and her eyes shot open at the carnage: dozens of blue rat tails strewn over the floor tiles like animal carcasses.

Tears trickled down Zoey's cheeks. "I evolved. I... I cut away what I didn't need..."

"Oh senpai..."

"Sarah..."

Zoey threw herself into Sarah's arms. The weeb held her tight, cooing and rocking Zoey, whispering, "It's okay. It'll all be okay."

Lillian's throat ran dry. In all her years of porn-surfing, never had she stared at any image so enviously. All those hours pouring over Agent Z photosets but none of them made her body shudder like this moment of pure trust.

 _Like, she's my friend too._ Lillian reached her hand towards Zoey's shoulder – to touch, to comfort – but in her mind's eye, the gap between them stretched into an all-out chasm. She was miles apart from Zoey and Sarah.

All she could do was watch.

* * *

Zoey had an entire evening's worth of tears to cry. Sarah sat her on the couch and let it all come out. Lillian became the gopher, fetching tissues for snotty noses and water for parched throats. _This is fine,_ she told herself. She'd sat in when Sarah had taken a bathroom break and when Zoey fell over her, she'd felt like an imposter.

It took an eternity of shoulder-sobbing, an age of back massages and an era of reassuring hand squeezes but finally, Zoey wrung herself dry. After a solid minute of steady breathing and tear wiping, Zoey was focused enough to move to the next stage of grieving.

Rage.

"Everything comes down."

Her hair hidden under a baggy hoodie, Zoey snatched one of the jolly Santa faces from the window, ripped it clean in two. Then she ripped it into fourths, then eighths and soon St. Nick was no more than red and white snowflakes drifting to the floor.

"This is a Wiccan house, we don't need any of these consumerist idols!"

"Bitch, yeah!"

"Yosh!"

Grinning like hellions, Lillian and Suki joined in on the destruction. The goth girl grabbed the paper elves dancing on the walls and split them from the crotch up. Sarah yanked down the sleigh and reindeer, gave her very best kaiju roar (EEEEEEERAAAH!) and chomped the heads off of Dasher and Dancer and Prancer – all the way to Blitzen. She offered Comet's hind legs to Zoey and they ripped the reindeer in half like a turkey wishbone.

The golfing Santa on the dining table - Zoey pounced on the tabletop with a kitchen mallet and sent St. Nicolas flying with her finest mini-golf drive!

The snowman and elf decorations on the tree - Lillian hucked them to the floor and stomped them into elf dust!

The all-inclusive _Happy Holidays_ banner above the TV - Sarah pulled it down and danced around the room like a gymnast doing her ribbon routine before feeding it to the garburator.

They ripped apart every last fake and factory-printed decoration, then they ripped the pieces and flung them to the air like confetti. Panting with happy exhaustion, the girls of the Dark Coven scanned the battlefield of their loft, strewn with paper, plastic shards and the golf Santa's electronic guts. Christmas was gone and it felt _good._

Lillian bounded for the hall closet, tossed them each a broom. It was time to start their witches' work.

Every last shard and scrap - they swept it all into black garbage bags and hefted the load to the rooftop. The tenant barbecue pits awaited them, eager to burn.

Lillian squeezed their container of lighter fluid dry. Zoey flung away the grill and shoved the bags in. A crisp _ss-chik_ cut the evening air as Sarah's matchstick birthed a precious, orange flame. Cupping her hands, she offered Zoey the tiny finger of fire.

It was mesmerizing, the way the flame danced atop its matchstick pole. They all huddled around it - this spark, this hope, this first light of the winter solstice.

Zoey flicked the match and columns of fire short skyward in glorious reds and orange, knocking them all on their asses.

Lillian and Suki whooped but for Zoey, the inferno was nowhere near enough. "I'll be back," she announced, and when she bounded back up the stairwell, her arms were loaded with white knee-socks, tartan skirts and pastel tees. Every last scrap of cutesy, soft girl clothing Miss Yumi had bought her, every last submissive expectation she'd placed upon her - Zoey offered it all up to the fire. She bared her teeth in a delight as she tossed away her leash and collar.

Ugly black smoke poured from the fire pit, making Sarah cough and forcing Lillian back but Zoey closed her eyes and stepped into the greasy plumes, letting the airborne soot waft over her - cleansing her face, her heart and her hands. From these ashes, a new, stronger Zoey would burst phoenix-like, wreathed in flame.

Lillian flashed a thumbs-up of approval. "Totally good to have you back, boss bitch."

Zoey nodded. "Good to be back."

* * *

Lillian snorted awake in the early morning, drool over her chin and a bad crick in her neck. She was on the couch, contorted sideways in a crazy yoga pose.

 _Right, we all just kinda fell asleep watching TV._ The glow of a three AM infomercial still blanketed her like a campfire's warmth. Lillian shut it off, let her eyes adjust to the darkness. _Like, where'd everybody go?_

She couldn't find Zoey or Sarah but the bathroom light was on and she could hear the careful snip of scissors from inside. Lillian cocked an ear to the conversation inside.

"Are you sure you don't want to see a real stylist, senpai?"

"It can't wait." Zoey's foot tapped against the bathroom floor. "If I see myself like this even a day more, I'll go crazy."

"Mm, I get it. Lucky you - I used to cut my little cousins' hair so I'm pretty good with scissors, ne?"

Silence and scissor snips. "And you're sure about this colour? I think blue looked really _steki_ on you."

"Do it. I… I trust you."

Suki nodded, and Lillian heard her slip on the plastic gloves from an off-the-shelf hair-colouring kit. "Let me know if I rub too hard, okay?"

Lillian listened awhile to the scritch of hands massaging scalp. She was about to clock out, it was so boring when -

"You changed." It was barely a croak from Zoey's throat. "You changed your... well, everything."

Sarah's hands paused. "I guess I... changed back. This is what I looked and dressed like in high school."

"Oh."

Zoey went quiet again. Sarah continued kneading in the dye.

"I didn't have a lot of friends back then, but I was part of an online anime group. We'd livestream shows together, talk about our OTPs and share fan art. We all lived so far apart; the only time we could really see each other was at anime cons. We'd all cosplay, of course. Working on our wigs, our costumes, our props - it was all so _subarashi!_ Ooh, and then there were the guest panels, the art halls, the rooms for marathoning shows. And Saturday night was always the huge dance party with glow-sticks and candy and karaoke!"

Suki's hands paused again, and Lillian could just imagine the wistful look in the chubby nerd's eye.

"Sometimes, when I got back home, I'd leave my cosplay on. For a day, for a week. _Ka-san_ and _tou-san_ , my mom 'n dad, they would get all mad at me; yell at me for not changing or showering but ... it always made me happier, being someone else for a bit."

Inside the bathroom, Zoey let out a long, shuddering breath. Lillian could just imagine her dark fingers reaching up past her shoulder, touching Sarah's hand in comfort.

Then the otaku girl chuckled. "Maybe that's why I like you and Kuroko-chan so much. When I'm with you two, every day is like con weekend!"

Lillian leaned back against the couch, eyes ceiling-bound. _It means that much, huh?_ Inside the bathroom, the conversation continued.

"Hey, Suki?"

"Yeah, senpai?"

"I'm sorry. For being so far up my ass it took you ... doing _this_ to reach me. I swear, as soon as I can afford it, we'll fix your hair, your tan. We'll get things back to normal."

Sarah paused. "I don't want that."

"But-"

" _Hoshikunai!_ I don't want things back to normal! I'm not – my heart's not that strong, senpai."

"I don't –"

"Zoey, when you and Yumi-san were ... _together_ , it hurt. _Omae wa mou shindeiru,_ senpai. Every moment, I felt like Kenshiro had hit me with his _Hokuto Hyakuretsu-ken_ technique and I was already dead.

"I tried to be happy for you. I smiled, I did my best to help and I cheered you on. I thought, maybe if I just keep smiling, I won't feel like crying inside anymore."

Sniffling, Sarah had to stop; Lillian heard her wipe her eyes.

"You're the most important person in _za warudo_ to me, Zoey. I know this probably isn't a good time to say this but I'm gonna say it anyway: I don't want to be just another supporting character in your manga. I don't want to be happy _for_ you anymore. I want to be happy _with_ you."

Lillian's blood pulsed through her ears. She held her breath, sat up, tensing for the reply to come.

"Sarah –"

"Anyway, like I said – bad timing and all. You don't have to say anything now. Just… think about it? _Onegai_?"

"… Okay."

And just like that, Sarah was her peppy self again. "Yosh! Now sit still, senpai! Your kawaii little kouhai's gotta make sure she doesn't miss a spot, _ne_!"

Back on the couch, Lillian held her chest, trying to remember how to breathe.


	17. The Long and Lonely Road

_Like, gotta act all surprised._

That was Lillian's mantra when she woke properly the next morning. She hadn't heard any secret confession; she hadn't lost any sleep replaying Sarah's words over and over in her mind. She was Lillian Aurawell and she didn't give a shit what her friends got up to after hours.

And yet for all her tough talk, Zoey's new look totally managed to floor her.

Her friend emerged transformed. Zoey'd gotten lucky - most of the dreads she'd buzzed off had been fabric noodles from a rave wig (go figure). Even still, there'd been no saving the long, silky hair she'd grown past her shoulders. Suki had straightened what remained, dyed it blonde and styled it into a sleek pixie cut, parted to the side with two longer strands hanging in front of her ears.

"Like... whoa." Lillian wasn't sure how long the new 'do left her jaw hanging. Zoey scratched awkwardly at her short cut.

"It's not too masculine?"

"Hell naw! You're rockin' it, boss! Totally goes with the new outfit."

Up top, Zoey was in power mode: a hot pink button-up blouse paired with a black steampunk waistcoat tightened by zigzagging laces. She looked ready to command her own airship. Below the belt, the boss was set to party: a lacy black tutu, fishnet leggings and fuzzy boots in matching pink. Finish it off with those fingerless mesh gloves and Zoey was looking every bit the take-charge boss bitch.

"I needed to freshen things up," Zoey explained and Lillian nodded along, eyeing that silky pink blouse and the collar Zoey had unbuttoned down to her bra. The boss wasn't just flashing black lace - the waxy surgical scar carved into her breastbone burned bright as lightning. The message couldn't be clearer: yeah, she'd gone through hell and back but Zoey was stronger than ever and ready to step on the world.

There was just one thing missing. "I was holdin' onto these for ya."

"My goggles!" Zoey's exclaimed. "I was looking all over for those!" The witch strapped her cybergoth accessory back onto her forehead and Lillian flashed a thumbs up.

"Hell, yeah! Now you're totally rockin' the sexy scientist look."

"You... think I'm sexy?" The brightness in Zoey's eyes left Lillian stammering.

"I mean... I dunno!"

Zoey smiled but didn't leave her in the hot seat long. She had her own awkward confession to make.

"I already spoke with Sarah but... Lil, I'm sorry. For how I acted; for ignoring you every time you tried to warn me."

Lillian tried to brush it off with a "psshaw".

"No, I'm serious. What we have - you, me and Sarah - it's more important than any fling. You're more than my friend, you're my coven sister. I'm never going to forget that again."

Oof, what to say?

"I dunno, I was like, a total douche t'you. Sorry I called you haystack... and a tool... and a garbage-headed - look, I called you a lot of shitty stuff. I even used the D-word."

"You were looking out for me. If anything, I was the problematic one. I'm supposed to #BelieveAllWomen and yet I shut my ears to your pleas."

# _BelieveAll...?_ "Wait, how's that work with two chicks and one's lying?"

"It doesn't," Zoey's admitted. Her tired eyes spoke to a sleepless night agonizing over that paradox. "Lillian, Aiko presented herself as vulnerable and marginalized - she twisted everything I stood for to get into my head and split me from my friends. She used identity politics to advance a selfish agenda and trample dissent."

Zoey sighed as she slumped against the couch. "I have to think this over but... maybe I need to take a break from politics."

"You sure?"

"I lost my old friends at the Womyn's Center because our political stances didn't match. Now I almost lost you and Sarah. I've spent so much time harassing and lecturing others. Maybe I need to be more like a citrine crystal - focus on spreading positive energy."

Lillian could kinda see the logic. "I mean, whatever works for you."

"Speaking of spreading positive energy -" Zoey produced some plastic bags from a 24-hour convenience mart. "I have some gifts to share."

* * *

Zoey distributed the newspaper-wrapped packages around the dining table; Sarah was the first to tear hers open.

"Haaa! _Mega-Lovers_ volume 7! But... senpai, this is the BL series about the university boy who falls in love with his grade school shota cousin. I thought you said it was super-problematic!"

"It is, but -" Zoey trembled, holding back the instinct to lecture. "I'm trying to respect your tastes in media."

Suki respectfully tucked the offending paperback under its wrapping. Zoey sighed in gratitude.

Lillian was next. _Like, grocery bags?_ Her eyes leapt as she rustled off the plastic covers.

"Lucky Charms? Captain Crunch and-? Omigod, omigod, Tony the Tiger! It's Frosted Flakes!"

Zoey forced another smile as Lillian tore into her favorite breakfast cereals, shovelling handful after handful down her food hole. "They're... to your liking?"

Lillian's groan was orgasmic. "Mmmh, they're great!"

"Ano, we have a present for you too, senpai! Right, Lillian?"

The goth girl paused - just for a millisecond - but long enough to replay the whispered confession from last night. Long enough to make her decision.

"Present? Mmh, yeah. Here ya go." Lillian fished through her back pocket, tossed over an unwrapped pack of smokes.

"Cigarettes?" Zoey puzzled. "But... I don't smoke."

"That's cool." Lillian reached over and took back the slims. "There, now you got me another gift. Thanks for the cigs, boss! Sarah, what'd you get her?"

The ginger girl was too flabbergasted to move. Lillian did her the favor, sauntering into the otaku's room. The sharpie marker hidden in her hand slashed a quick scribble atop the _From Lillian_ part of the label.

The newspaper-encased brick thunked on the dining table. Zoey looked from the package to Lillian. "Like, Sarah's been bragging to me about that for weeks. Open it! I wanna see what honkin' big shit she gotcha."

Suspicious of material gifts in December, Zoey started slowly, but the instant she caught a glimmer of precious crystal, the wrapping was shredded in two seconds flat. "By Hecate the All-Mother, it's huge!"

The stunned, gaping mouth; the delighted eyes. Zoey's reaction to the Obsidian Heart was everything Lillian had dreamed. "It's like, from ancient Greece or Egypt, I dunno. Dug it up from the temple of Afro-diddly or something?"

"Aphrodite? A relic of the love goddess?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

Sarah's face contorted into shock. "Kuroko-chan, _nandayo_? That's -"

"- the Yule gift you bought Zoey. I know." And the boss was none the wiser.

"Sarah, you got this for me? This must have cost-"

"Like, nothing's too expensive for her senpai, right Sarah?"

When the weeb just stood there in shell-shock, Lillian rolled her eyes and walked behind her. "Hey, didn't you say the rock zaps people when they think about whoever they like?"

She gave the twerp a good push towards the boss. Sarah's hands toppled onto the black stone. The touch was less than a second but both she and Zoey recoiled from the pacemaker shock.

"S-senpai?"

Zoey didn't reply but the stunned look in her eye - that magical disbelief. Yeah, that said it all.

Lillian gave a catty grin as she gathered her cereal boxes and trotted off to her room. "So like, me and the milk carton have some friends to catch up with. Later!"

She had a whole lot of eating to do if she was gonna close up the gaping hole in her heart.

* * *

Lillian never asked what her roommates had talked over while she blasted her music and chowed on soggy cereal. It didn't matter. From that moment on, one look at the pair and you knew they were together.

Like, could they be more vomit-inducingly obvious? The way they stammered whenever one tried to finish the other's sentence. The totally adorkable and awkward way they tried to sit close on the couch - but not too close! The way small compliments about hair or outfits sent them blushing and glancing away. Yeah, those two were totally an item.

Lillian had sparked the fire. Now it was up to her to fan the flames no matter how badly it burned her.

Zoey had a whole month's worth of social activism and Wiccan culture to catch up on. Every event she planned, Lillian scanned for opportunities to push the witch and weeb closer together.

First on the boss' chopping block: picketing the new drinking legal age bill. The three of them drew up giant protest posters, charged up Zoey's battery-operated megaphone and marched down to city hall to start a riot. Heads swiveled from every direction towards their three-woman anthem:

"WE'RE HERE! GOT BEER! GET USED TO IT!"

Behind goggles and a face mask, Zoey addressed the weirded-out pedestrians gathering at the base of the city hall stairs:

"People of Glenberry! Mayor Hackley's oppressive new drinking law unjustly discriminates against the youth of our city! As an act of resistance, my coven sisters and I will now consume these six-packs of locally brewed IPA! Fight the power!"

"Eff the pigs!" Lillian shouted through her bandana as she clicked open her first tab.

"Fighto!" cheered Sarah, totally not cosplaying as a plus-sized Team Skull grunt. The spritz from her shaken-up brewsky blasted all over her face.

The arrests for public intoxication sucked major balls. On the plus side, Sarah, drunk off her ass, totally bawled her eyes out in the slammer, necessitating a certain cybergoth witch to comfort and cuddle her. (Seriously, had she never been picked up by the police before?)

For Lillian, the rest was all icing on the cake: the look of horror on her mother's face when she came to bail them out. Plus, someone totally uploaded their protest onto YouTube ( _Crazy Cosplay Chicks Chug Hardcore!)_ so they were totally famous! Suddenly, everyone was doing a double-take at this jacked up beer age bill.

"Girls, Misty Peaks just reblogged my protest tweet! #21Beer4ever is going viral all over Adult Film Twitter!"

By the time Lillian kicked her jailhouse hangover, Mayor Hackley's beer bill was up in flames and his re-election hopes had a snowball's chance in hell. The Dark Coven had toppled their very first political overlord!

Better yet, Zoey and Sarah totally started hand-holding in secret.

* * *

Solstice celebrations became Lil's next angle of attack.

"Technically, the Western Gregorian Calendar is off by about five and a half years," Zoey explained, "so we're actually _early_ for this year's Solstice."

Burning Miss Yu's shit had taken care of the cleansing rituals. Only rich and authentic Yule decorations remained: altars of candles and mistletoe, wreaths decorated by locally-sourced decorations and Suki's hand-spun god's eye crafts. They feasted (Chinese take-out), they chanted (Sarah's karaoke playlist) and they wassailed the fuck out of the night!

Sarah's non-alcoholic punch tasted like ass but Lillian's Solo cup switcheroo left the ginger weeb tipsy and dizzy. Zoey totally had to let her rest on her shoulder.

* * *

By the night of December 25 (you know, that _mainstream_ holiday), Lillian was sure it was game set and match. After midnight, the coven snuck out to the mall and pushed the industrial waste dumpsters across the parking lot so they barricaded the main doors. Zoey's eyes crackled with red and blue glee.

"When the Boxing Day shoppers show up, they'll be met with a dark mirror of their consumerist souls!"

"Hai! And they'll be staring at a ton of garbage!"

Zoey frowned. "That's what I - never mind. Let's go home, girls. Tomorrow's newspaper headlines will be one for the scrapbook!"

_Like, that's my cue._ Lillian waited until Sarah took her place at Zoey's side, then allowed herself to fall behind. "Gonna walk around, take a smoke break. Catch up with you two later."

Her remarks set off a puzzled frown from Zoey. "You've been going off on your own a lot lately. What's up?"

"Like, I'm a lone wolf, Zoe. Gotta prowl on my own."

The witch puzzled it over. "Seeing someone?"

Lillian nearly gagged on her cig. "Omigod, are you my mom? I'm just going for a freakin' walk! Go on 'n get home before Sarah shivers herself into skinny jeans!"

"I'm n-n-not th-that c-c-cold, K-Kuroko-chan."

The kid was just too adorable. Sighing, Zoey took her hand, prompting a girlish squeak and a mad blush.

Lillian walked off into the night, alone.

* * *

"So are they fucking?"

"Like, excuse me?" Busy tapping on the pet shop fish tanks, Lillian whirled on the brunette cashier. Audrey scowled back.

"Are. They. Fucking? What, don't tell me your baby-ass brain thinks that's just a naughty word you throw around to scare mommy and daddy?"

"Like, I know what it means, Audrey."

"Soo? Are they frotting? Smashing clams? Are they rubbing their pussies together until they scream?"

"Fuck off." Lillian turned back to the fish, puffing up her cheeks to scare off the buggers.

"Hey, you're the one who keeps swinging by to bitch about her life story. If you're gonna harp on about that jack-off Zoey, at least tell me the juicy bits."

Lillian rolled her eyes. Zoey had been right all those days ago about her time away from the Coven. Operation _Give the Lovebirds Some Alone Time_ had the shitty downside of forcing Lillian to wander the streets like a homeless bitch. Every time, she made her way to the mall, attracted as if by magic to the pet shop and the surly bitch who'd let her hang for hours without buying anything.

Scratch that. Audrey's price of admission was gossip. Sighing, Lillian put up tonight's bill.

"Like, going into her room still kinda triggers Zoey. Bad memories and all that crap. So she's staying in Sarah's room."

"Oh ho!"

"Ugh, it's not like that. Zoe's got a sleeping bag, but -"

"Buuuut?" Lillian hated the way the bitch prodded her forward.

"Look, this one time I got up in the middle of the night to piss and Sarah's light was totally still on. So I go over to check and like, Zoey's totally sleeping on top of the sheets. Like, I think they've been doing it every night since Christmas: the boss gets on the bed and they, like... lie together."

"What, like in the Biblical sense?"

"Eff no, they just... I dunno, they just lie on their sides and like... look at each other."

* * *

It had startled her badly, the first time she'd seen the boss side by side with the weeb: Suki under the covers and Zoey lying on top, bathed in the glow of a bedside Hello Kitty lamp. Both had been wide awake, staring across the mattress at each other, not saying anything. Just breathing seemed effort enough.

Zoey's hand had reached across the mattress. Sarah's had reached out in return. The Obsidian Heart lay between them, a border line dividing the bed. Their fingertips brushed across the holy stone - just the barest of touches and they both recoiled, gasping from the raw surge of emotion.

"I-it's like I'm in your head," Sarah stammered, too overjoyed for words. "You really feel that way, senpai?"

Zoey was too frazzled for words. Reaching out again, her body spoke where words failed: bony black digits interlacing with chubby white fingers and squeezing tight.

Lillian felt the dagger right through her chest.

It hurt so badly but she couldn't look away. It was so chaste, so lame - holding hands like grade schoolers, thumbs rubbing across knuckles but her friends shuddered as tough their entire bodies were entwined.

It took an eternity for Zoey to gather her courage but she finally leaned across the bed and graced Sarah with the softest peck on the lips.

"Yeah... I do."

There was nothing more to say. Grinning like a loon, the otaku girl reached over and shut off her lamp.

"Good night, Sarah."

" _Oyasumi nasai_ , Zoey."

Lillian didn't know how the hell they'd missed her, what with her heart thudding through her ears like a bass drum. She'd tiptoed across the apartment and plugged herself shut with loud music and sugary cereal.

* * *

An alarm buzz from Lillian's phone forcibly yanked her from the memory. "Crap, I gotta go. Zoey's crystals need rotating."

"Is that a sex thing or a goth thing?"

"Fuck off! Zoey keeps her magic crystals on the windowsill so they charge up on mana 'n shit. I gotta move them around so the ones at the back can grab some moonlight."

It was the stupidest thing Audrey had heard all day and not for the usual reasons.

"Wait, hold the fuck up. Witch-face and Anime-chan are 'lying' in bed together and you're stuck looking after her pet rocks?"

"I'm not just a fuckin' rock sitter! I water Zoey's herbs and get dinner ready too."

Audrey looked ready to blow out her brains.

"Oh my fucking... SIMP! You are a pussy-whipped, friend-zoned, ass-licking simp!"

"Am not! Like, if you had any friends, you'd help them out in a rough time!"

"Zoey Greene's seriously too scared to go inside her own room? How the hell's she get dressed every morning?"

Lillian shrugged. "I bring her clothes out for her."

"You- ?" Audrey's brain broke for a moment. "She lets you in her room, lets you pick out her panties and -"

It was too much. Audrey stopped and addressed the fluffy white cat that had hopped into her lap. "Misses Fluffybottom, this is a simp. A big, fat simpy-simp. Can you say hewwo to the simp?"

"Piss off!"

Audrey fake-meowed as she waved Misses Fluffybottom's paws. "Simpy-simpy-simpy-simp!"

"I'm not a simp! You just don't frickin' get it. Do you know who I am?"

"An emo freak?"

"Eff no, I'm Spider-Man."

Like, was it the 'man' part that made Audrey stare like she was from another planet?

"Come again?"

"Bitch, I'm Spider-Man."

Audrey snickered. _Asshole!_

"Like, didn't you ever see the OG Sam Raimi movie? Peter Parker beats down the Green Goblin, he gets the girl but then he figures stuff out: if he's with MJ, she'll never really be happy. He'll put her in danger."

"In danger of slitting her wrists from your batshit emoness," Audrey muttered. Lillian soldiered on. The hurt in her chest felt so good.

"Audrey, if I want Zoey t'be happy, I gotta let Suki have her. I can be there for Zoey, I can take care of her but like, only as a friend."

"Only as a friend?" Audrey checked. Lillian shrugged back.

"Like, that's all I've got to give."

Lillian closed her eyes, imagining how perfect it would be if the fish tanks all suddenly exploded and the glass shrapnel skewered her to death. Fuck yeah, that would be a kickass way to go - skin full of glass, her heart splitting open under the weight of her noble suffering.

When she opened her eyes, the tanks were still intact and Audrey blinked vacantly alongside her fish.

"Wow, and I thought Zoey was off her rocker." A buzz from her phone drew her attention. "Look, I gotta feed the dogs in the back so... bye, or whatever."

"Yeah, I get it." This was her gift, her curse; her destiny - to walk forever alone. "Hey, thanks for helping us get rid of Miss Yu."

Audrey didn't even look up. "What in your thick-ass skull makes you fucking think I had anything to do with that shit?"

"I dunno." Lillian scanned the pet shop: the algae-scrubbed fish tanks gleaming crystal clear, the shit-free dog cages with topped off water bowls; the fluffy cat Audrey had taken out of its cage to brush and pet. She gave a shrug.

"Yeah, like, I dunno how I ever thought a bitch like you gave a flying fuck about anyone."

Audrey smirked as she scritched behind Misses Fluffybottom's ear. "Let's keep it that way."

Lillian nodded. "Later, bitch."

"Hey, kid?"

Lillian turned around. The smile on Audrey's face was a strange mix of pity and hope.

"Don't forget - they made a Spider-Man 2."

"Yeah, whatever."

* * *

The loft was quiet and dark when Lillian carefully shut the door behind her. City lights twinkled beyond the windows. Adjusting to the darkness, Lillian could make out a warm, golden halo surrounding Sarah's doorframe.

_Gotta check the rocks,_ Lillian told herself. That was the only reason she approached.

The door had bounced open a crack, or maybe they just hadn't shut it completely. Whatever the reason, there was just enough space for a wandering eye to glance inside. _Just to check..._

Zoey lay atop the bed covers in a simple nightshirt and shorts. Sarah was nestled under the sheets, her orange hair spread behind her like a mane. Like every night before, their eyes were trained on each other, their hands held together as if in prayer. A prayer Sarah interrupted with a question:

"Ano... did you talk with Lillian yet? About us?"

"I..."

"Senpai!"

"I know, I know it's just... a little nerve-racking."

_Huh?_ Lillian pressed her ear to the door.

"You promised me! It's not healthy to keep this a secret."

"I'm trying, she just... it's like she's avoiding me."

_So you two can be together! That's why I'm freakin' staying away!_

A sigh. "I have to do better, though. She needs to know how -"

"- how we feel," Suki finished.

_Like, totally obvious you two!_

"What if she doesn't approve?"

"Well, even if Kuroko-chan thinks what we want to do is gross, you'll still have your kawaii little kouhai. Ne?"

"Suki... thank you so much."

Inside, Zoey looked away, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Making you put up with me like this. With all this... well, we're not even - I mean, this isn't even vanilla."

Sarah giggled. "Vanilla's my favorite flavour."

"Liar," Zoey scoffed.

"Gomen. You're my favorite ice cream, senpai."

The sheer cheese of that line forced Lillian to hunch and hold her stomach. Inside, Zoey snorted and laughed. "That doesn't even - what does that -?" but there was no fighting the ridiculousness that was Suki.

They laughed, and their happiness dug at Lillian like nails down a chalkboard. And when their laughter was spent, Suki reached a hand across the divide to -

Zoey shot back, wincing. "Sorry. I'm just not... ready for that."

_Me neither,_ Lillian winced.

But the sunshine that was Suki was unsinkable. "That's okay, senpai. I don't mind if we take it slow. That just means I have tons more time to spend with you!"

"Thank you."

Beneath the sheets, Suki's legs fidgeted.

"But... if you want to touch _me_ , senpai -" Her breathing quickened, "- I wouldn't mind. Actually... I'd like it a lot."

The bed creaked. When Lillian next glanced inside, Sarah had crawled out from underneath the bedsheets to show off her nightshirt and bare legs. Lillian stifled a gasp. On the bed, Zoey's eyes drew wide. Positively overwhelmed, she defaulted to her feminist mantras.

"So... Sarah, do you consent if I-?"

Another interrupting giggle. "Baka senpai. I told you, you don't have to ask. Just tell me what you want to do. It'll be like our chat roleplay, just in first person. And if I don't like your story, I'll change it. Ne?"

The room grew so quiet, Lillian wondered if she'd gone deaf. Finally -

"O-okay. I'm... Suki, I'm going to touch your arm. I'm going to start at your shoulder."

"Ahh." Out in the hallway, Lillian mirrored Zoey's directions, drawing her fingers down the bare skin of her forearm, circling at her elbow.

"I'm... gonna brush your hair... down your cheek."

_Ohh._ Lillian added a hand over her breast as fingers ghosted through her black hair, caressing her from ear to her chin. _C'mon, Zoey... keep it going._

Inside, the young witch shuffled back on the mattress. "Maybe that's enough for-"

"Iyaa!" Suki pouted. "Onegai? Just a little more?"

Lillian held her breath (and her breast), waiting on Zoey.

"O-okay."

_Ohhh yeah_.

"I'm gonna touch your knee, rub your shin..."

"Iyaa. Go up, Zoey."

"Up? I - okay. I'm going up your thigh and -" a pause, "oh wow, you're... squishy."

Suki giggled again. "I'm all _puni-puni_ like a marshmallow!"

"Jiggly," Zoey added. "And warm."

"Mm, you're making me warm, Zoey. I like it."

Zoey didn't reply. Out in the hallway, Lillian could hear the witch's heavy breathing - cycling in and out as her hand circled Sarah's thigh. Lillian's own breath was growing so hot she swore the hallway would fill with steam. She pressed her back to the wall, covering her mouth as she popped the button of her jeans.

"Feels nice," Zoey shuddered. "You feel -"

Suki squeaked in alarm. Lillian risked a peek through the door and caught Zoey pulling a startled Suki into her arms. Panting heavily, the witch took Suki's hands and placed them on her ass. Lillian's fingers pushed past the waistband of her panties. She started rubbing.

"Senpai..."

"Zoey," she corrected, hissing through her teeth before she pulled their bodies together.

_Mmph!_ Lillian bit against her hand as her fingers rubbed faster. Every fiber of her being was focused on the action inside: the wet smack of lips, the moan of mouths crashing into each other; the hiss of hands smoothing over backsides. Lillian stifled a needy groan as her middle and ring finger curled deep.

"Haa... Zoey..." Suki's gasp fluttered in a dream-like daze. Lillian clamped her teeth and railed her snatch hard, trying to make herself feel even half as good as what Suki was feeling. It wasn't working.

The box mattress shifted as Zoey rolled on top of the chubby nerd. Under their combined weight, the springs groaned, then squeaked, rocking to the rhythm of Zoey's bucking hips.

Lillian bit down on her fingers, muffling the cry as she came. Tears dribbled down her cheeks, and not just because she'd had the shittiest orgasm ever.

_I can't take this anymore!_

If this was her future, if this was how bad it was going to hurt, seeing them together, then it really was time for her to disappear into the night. First thing tomorrow, she would pack her bags and run away forever!

_I need a life of my own._

_I'm a sister of the Dark Coven... no more._


	18. The Greatest Gift

Lillian didn't sleep all night - or at least she never found anything as restful as sleep. Tossing and turning, her mind tortured her with images of happier times: moving into the loft with Zoey and Sarah, showing the girls how to perform a séance on a stormy night; battling goblin hordes as Lillandra, Blake and Cera.

Gone. All of it would be gone when she opened her tear-crusted eyes.

* * *

The fates let her sleep in until noon (even _they_ knew better than to deal with Lillian Aurawell tired and cranky) but everything after that was totally a shit show. Lillian _literally_ rolled out bed, yelping as she crashed on top of her cereal boxes. Their corn and fructose guts burst all over the carpet. Groaning, Lillian scooped up what she could and ate off the floor like the tortured animal she was.

Her Buchimaru-kun shirt had a milk stain over it, the knots wouldn't comb out of her pigtails and try as she might, she couldn't cram even half her wardrobe into her travelling bag! In short, it wasn't enough for life to take away her two best friends - it totally had to kick her while she was down, mug her for cash and rub her face in her own puke!

And of course when she finally grumbled her way out of her room in a half-assed tee and sweats, she found Zoey and Sarah giggling and enjoying each other's company on the couch. They were doing a read-aloud of a mushy, shoujo manga but her arrival cut it off.

"Oh, good afternoon, Lillian."

"Ohayo, Kuroko-chan."

She had no time for their fake friendly crap. "Oh yeah, laugh it up you two! Lillian's a hot mess, ha-ha-ha!"

Her friends glanced at each other. Zoey coughed and tried again.

"Actually, we've been waiting for you. Lillian, Sarah and I wanted to talk to you about -"

"I know, okay? I heard you two last night."

Sarah blanched. "Y-you heard us?"

"Oh I heard every god-awful detail! What, you think I wasn't going to figure out what you're up to my own? Like, how dumb do you think I am?"

Zoey held her breath. "So... you're okay with-?"

"No, I'm not!" A deep sigh of despair. She'd rather slice off a lung than shed any tears. "But like, whatever. You two are girlfriends. Just go on without me."

They exchanged puzzled looks. "Lillian, that's the last thing we want to do."

Lillian scrunched her face at the weirdos from another planet.

"Kuroko-chan, we thought you knew we were together."

"That is, we wanted to talk to you-"

"-about how we feel -"

"- about you." Zoey swallowed. The young witch stood, came close and handed her a white stationary envelope. "This is for you. A yule gift."

An off-brand Christmas card? Lillian was ready to chuck it but... whatever. Her nails tore through the envelope and plucked out the colourful, hand-decorated (and totally seen-before) piece of cardstock.

 **~Solstice Surprise~  
** **This coupon entitles the bearer to unlimited free hugs and cuddles!**

Lillian cranked her disgusted scoff up to eleven. "Like, no offense, Sarah but I don't need pity hugs from you."

Zoey looked at her expectantly. "Did you read the whole thing?"

"Like, Sarah showed me this before!" Honestly, serving up Zoey's hand-me-down present? "What am I supposed to –?"

Her voice cut off.

**Trade in anytime, anywhere!**

**To:** **_Lillian_ ** **From:** **_Zoey_ **

Lillian waited for them to whip out their cell phones. _This is like, a prank, right?_ They were going to record her freaked out face and score a viral hit on social media, right? _Goth Chick's Heart Breaks - Agent-Z Reaction Video!_

No phones appeared, no "gotcha" moment sprung. From its resting place on the coffee table, Zoey picked up the Obsidian Heart. The witch glanced to Sarah, who gave an encouraging nod and a nudge forward. Lillian stiffened as Zoey approached.

"This is... I don't quite have the words, so... I want you to see."

Before Lillian could draw back, the stone touched her hand. An electric crackle raced through her fingertips, jolting her from her toes to the pigtailed tips of her hair, and with it, an explosion of emotions and memories:

A heart-pounding thrill as she and a raven-haired beauty performed an Ouija séance, dark lips grinning as their hands joined atop the free-moving planchette. Her nervous shudder stealing a glance at a bare tummy etched with tattoos, willing herself to focus instead on the D'nD campaign. The chest-crushing hurt as a trusted friend rejected her - "way to blow, haystack". The absolute panic as she spotted a pale-faced goth strewn across the apartment floor, struggling to breath and resist the asthmatic crush around her lungs. The tears of joy as her coven sister coughed to life, rasping her name - "... Zoey?"

 _Zoey?_ Lillian staggered back, pulling free of memories that were not her own. Her chest was heaving and sweaty. Zoey looked just as ragged, cheeks flushed and eyes averted, as though she'd just bared her naked body.

Sarah had caught Zoey, steadied her. Now the cybergoth witch stepped forward once more to speak.

"Lillian, I've... thought about you. A lot."

 _No._ Lillian retreated, a vampire from Zoey's sunlight.

"At first I wasn't sure, wasn't comfortable but... I don't think there's anything wrong with what I feel. I don't want to deny it anymore."

 _No, no, no!_ Lillian threw up her hands, willing the witch to stop!

"I... want to be with you, Lillian."

Had the whole world flipped upside-down and gone insane? "You're with Sarah!"

"She is," the shorter girl affirmed, bobbing her orange hair. "But I know how much Zoey-senpai means to you, Lillian."

The words coming out of Sarah's mouth didn't make any sense. "Like, you won, kid. You got Zoey! You get to ride off into the sunset, be happy!"

" _Dame dayo!_ " The words were nonsense but the anger bristling in Sarah's weeb-speak rang clear. "I know how you're feeling, Kuroko-chan! I know how much it hurts when the person you love is with someone else! If me being with senpai means hurting you, how can I be happy? I don't want anyone being sad or alone and I don't wanna chase you away! So..."

"So?"

"Let's share Zoey!"

Lillian reared back. "Share her?"

"Hai! Let's both be in love with senpai!"

Lillian swallowed a lump. Sarah kept waving that L-word around, not knowing it was a loaded gun. And the shots kept coming.

"I trust you, Lillian. I know you'll make Zoey the happiest ever; that you'll never do anything to hurt my girlfriend. Do you trust me to be the best _koibito_ ever to Zoey?"

"I mean... I guess?" What was she saying? This was the whole reason she'd been egging on the pair! "Like, you'd slit your own wrists before you let anything shitty happen to Zoey."

Sarah spun on the final member of the conversation. "And senpai, you think Kuroko-chan's super pretty, right? You wanna kiss her right on the lips, ne?"

Zoey ducked her head bashfully. Sarah fawned.

"See? That settles it! We'll both date Zoey!"

The kid was motoring a mile a minute like a sugar-fueled race car. Lillian desperately needed to slam the breaks. She pointed at the silent Zoey. "Like, can we talk?"

They both glanced at Sarah. The otaku girl nodded dutifully. "I'll put on my headphones."

Only after the ginger girl had toddled off to her room and shut the door did Lillian exhale. She was about to lay in but Zoey spoke first.

"I'd been wondering whether you ever used that access code for my website."

 _Oh god!_ Cheeks burning red, Lillian gestured to the black magic rock. "You saw?"

"I saw... or rather, I felt what you did." Zoey scratched behind her ear. "It really excited you, seeing my website update, didn't it?"

"I just looked at the pin-up galleries, okay? I never touched the live streams!"

"And I always wondered why my towels never seemed to dry properly..."

 _Fuck!_ Lillian hid her face and stifled a groan. Could a plane not crash into the building and kill her now?

"It's... very flattering."

"Well who wouldn't get hot and horny over someone as awesome as you?" The words flew out of Lillian's mouth. _This is too much!_ Her head was rushing with blood; she had to sit down. She took one end of the couch, hunching up like a turtle. Zoey took the opposite end and waited for her breathing to settle.

"How the fuck is this supposed to work? You like Sarah!"

"I like you too."

 _Arrgh!_ What was it with everyone just throwing their feelings around so easily? What was this, Emotional Frisbee-Golf day? "So you wanna fuck me?"

Zoey's hands squeezed in her lap. "I mean..."

"That's it, isn't it? When Sarah's got a headache, I fill in? I get to be your fuck doll?"

"NO!" Zoey scooched forward, took a seat on the middle cushion. She would leave nothing to misinterpretation. "I mean, maybe one day if we both consent, but I want this to be more than that! I want to trust you, be partners with you."

"But you've got a girlfriend!"

"So?" Zoey looked at her with utmost offense. "Sarah's given this her blessing and we've always been strongest together, all three of us! Lillian, all our life we've been told to limit ourselves to one person. Why should we perpetuate that tired myth of heteronormative monogamy?"

Lillian buried her face in her hands. Zoey scooted closer, touching her shoulder.

"Lillian, you've done so much for me - you helped me build my coven, you took on service work to keep a roof over our heads. When Aiko led me astray, you spoke truth to her power. When I fell to pieces, you kept this house running. Sarah told me about the Obsidian Heart, how you denied yourself to bring us together."

Zoey's touch rubbed through her every defense. Lillian found herself turning, opening like a flower before the sun. Zoey's lips rose in a small smile.

"If feminism is about choice, then I choose to be with Sarah and I choose to be with you." The cybergoth sat back - the next move would be up to Lillian. "You've been here for me so many times, Lillian. Now, I'm here for you."

There was an ache in Lillian's chest that had nothing to do with asthma. "Zoey..."

 _Oh what the hell!_ She grabbed Zoey, hugged her tight and mashed their lips together, kissing her over and over. The shocked thump of Zoey's heart felt so good; the wet smack of their mouths felt so right!

"You're so awesome, Zoey. Thanks for giving me the Spider-Man 2 ending!"

Zoey gave her a weird look-over before she returned the favor, bundling her arms around Lillian and kissing her back. Their bodies struggled – Lillian wanted to get on top but Zoey pushed her to the edge of the couch and leaned over her. The witch seemed stunned by how far she'd pushed.

"O-okay, that's - that's a lot."

"Mm, you better get over these first date jitters, boss, 'cause you make me fuckin' horny."

An otaku squeal broke up their make-out. "Yatta, Kuroko-chan! Senpai, give her the tongue! Show her who's boss!"

Both girls glanced at the peppy, ginger bundle of energy. Lillian growled. "Like, I thought you put on your headphones."

"I did," Sarah countered with a trickster's grin. "But I never said I'd listen to music."

Well, the kid had her there. Still... "You seriously okay with me borrowing Zoey?"

"Not borrowing – sharing! Haa, isn't this doki-doki exciting? Kuroko-chan, you and I get to be part of senpai's harem!"

Zoey sighed. "I'm living in a bad hentai."

"Sooo?" Sarah pushed.

"Like, so what?"

"Well, I've had lots of time together with senpai! What are you gonna do for your first date-o?"

Lillian tapped her lips in thought. "Like, not gonna get jealous if I take her out all night?"

"Mm-mm! Zoey dry humped me last night, so I'm good!"

That left the boss sputtering. She'd be no good for suggestions. "Like... I dunno, a movie?"

* * *

The mid-afternoon air was cool and crisp, the streets busy with New Year's shoppers. _A new year,_ Lillian reflected, _a new start_. Side by side with Zoey Greene.

The neighbourhood theatre was ten minutes walking distance of the apartment but Zoey agreed they should take the bus. Walking would've left them both dizzy with excitement; plus, sharing a seat totally let them hold hands. When they hopped off at the old-timey brick theatre with its huge marquee and posters, both girls were bubbling with memories.

"Like, this is totally where we first met. You were on that corner, spraying those pentagrams on the sidewalk."

Zoey winced, recalling her amateur attempts at witchcraft. "I was trying to place a hex on the theatre. All those problematic romantic comedies..." She smirked and pointed down the street. "You were over there, kicking the vending machines."

"Um, yeah! There was this Three Musketeers bar dangling halfway out!" A grin. "Then that usher with the zit-face totally came out and started giving you shit."

"You came over, helped me stand my ground."

"Hell yeah, I told that grease-head off!"

Zoey squeezed her hand, smiling. "You told me you'd been kicked out of your home."

Lillian squeezed back to cover up her groan. "Ugh, me and mom had another fight and this one got totally cranked up to 11. So I grabbed my purse, shoved some clothes in a bag and I ran away." What had they been fighting about anyway? Did it matter? "Like, I figured if my family hated me so much, I might as well crawl into a back alley and get lost."

She looked up at Zoey. "Thanks for finding me."

"Thanks for supporting me."

From behind the corner, a heavy breathing intruded on their moment. " _Haaa~, steki..._ "

Lillian glanced back. "She's doing that anime thing where the friends follow the date couple, right?"

A slow nod. "Baseball cap, sunglasses - Sarah's got the whole disguise."

Lillian grinned. "Like, then we better give her a good show."

She pushed Zoey up against the wall, kissed her long and hard.


End file.
